have a girlfriend who has become really good friends with a good looking, stylish guy who i believe to be gay, though my girlfriend insist that he's not. they are co workers. the only interaction i have had with him is over the phone. everything else i know about him is what my girlfriend tells me during everyday conversations. i never hear about him having a girlfriend but she always mentions how good looking he is and how she loves the way that he dresses and that he has great style and how all the women at work want him, but he never expresses any desire for them and there is never any conversations about him having any sexual get togethers between him and all these women who desire him so much in the work place. when i speak to him over the phone sorry! but he sounds gay. simply by his tone of voice, terms and choice of words. hes just as or if not more concerned with fashion,style, clothing as my girl. they shop together, he even has a fashion show once a year that he organize's. they have become really good friends, best friends. my response to her constantly talking about him are usually" if he's so good looking, why dont you date him! she would say " i would hate to risk ruining our good friendship" and that she doesnt look at him in that sort of way" in the beginning she kept him secret from me , she says because she thought that i wouldnt understand. they shop together , costantly going out to eat. so im confused, is this a ploy of my girlfriend to have this guy on the side who she is possibly screwing or am i just a jelous boyfriend. well i think hes gay, i think this situation speaks of the core of peoples insecurities within social circles. the girls at work want him cause him having no sexual intent for women plus his good looks and great style makes him desired and a challenge which out of there insecurity need to prove to them selves that they can get him sexualy. my girlfriend wants to prove within this social circle that she is the person who he enjoys spending the most of his time with , me i guess im injecting my insecurities into our relationship . i dont know what do you think? ive been reading dj for a while now and i think the best thing i should do is just simply not care.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
is she cheating?
- Thread starter wild west
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
You cant POSSIBLY! be serious about your Post..... Let me highlight somethings for you to read over in your head............
she always mentions how good looking he is and how she loves the way that he dresses and that he has great style and how all the women at work want him <~~~ Do i really need to continue??
i would hate to risk ruining our good friendship <~~ thats like a slap in the face.
in the beginning she kept him secret from me , she says because she thought that i wouldnt understand. they shop together , costantly going out to eat <~~ wow
I mean.... i really dont know what else you want to hear....... Shes basically telling you,........ She really wants to give HIM ass but your in the way. What a Slap in the face.
she always mentions how good looking he is and how she loves the way that he dresses and that he has great style and how all the women at work want him <~~~ Do i really need to continue??
i would hate to risk ruining our good friendship <~~ thats like a slap in the face.
in the beginning she kept him secret from me , she says because she thought that i wouldnt understand. they shop together , costantly going out to eat <~~ wow
I mean.... i really dont know what else you want to hear....... Shes basically telling you,........ She really wants to give HIM ass but your in the way. What a Slap in the face.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Fukk asking, just do it.aelux said:
sounds like the other guy is like a "girlfriend" to her. They shop together! You should be grateful that someone else is handling that crap for you. Honestly, if the "other" guy posted here saying that he goes out to eat with this girl, talks about fashion with her and goes shopping with her, what would people say? He's been ljbfed by her is my guess.
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
Some of it sounds bad, but some of it not so much. The fact that she seems drawn to this guy in general, and obviously finds some things about him attractive, is not good at all. If you two are serious you should put your foot down on that. But, as far as what we can tell from your post, they're not doing anything romantic/sexual together, and yeah.....they go shopping. That's girl stuff. The reality is lots of girls have guy friends like that, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. She may have initially hid him from you because you'd react the way you are now, regardless of the nature of their relationship.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql7meT4v2J0vorbis said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.