have a girlfriend who has become really good friends with a good looking, stylish guy who i believe to be gay, though my girlfriend insist that he's not. they are co workers. the only interaction i have had with him is over the phone. everything else i know about him is what my girlfriend tells me during everyday conversations. i never hear about him having a girlfriend but she always mentions how good looking he is and how she loves the way that he dresses and that he has great style and how all the women at work want him, but he never expresses any desire for them and there is never any conversations about him having any sexual get togethers between him and all these women who desire him so much in the work place. when i speak to him over the phone sorry! but he sounds gay. simply by his tone of voice, terms and choice of words. hes just as or if not more concerned with fashion,style, clothing as my girl. they shop together, he even has a fashion show once a year that he organize's. they have become really good friends, best friends. my response to her constantly talking about him are usually" if he's so good looking, why dont you date him! she would say " i would hate to risk ruining our good friendship" and that she doesnt look at him in that sort of way" in the beginning she kept him secret from me , she says because she thought that i wouldnt understand. they shop together , costantly going out to eat. so im confused, is this a ploy of my girlfriend to have this guy on the side who she is possibly screwing or am i just a jelous boyfriend. well i think hes gay, i think this situation speaks of the core of peoples insecurities within social circles. the girls at work want him cause him having no sexual intent for women plus his good looks and great style makes him desired and a challenge which out of there insecurity need to prove to them selves that they can get him sexualy. my girlfriend wants to prove within this social circle that she is the person who he enjoys spending the most of his time with , me i guess im injecting my insecurities into our relationship . i dont know what do you think? ive been reading dj for a while now and i think the best thing i should do is just simply not care.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
is she cheating?
- Thread starter wild west
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
You cant POSSIBLY! be serious about your Post..... Let me highlight somethings for you to read over in your head............
she always mentions how good looking he is and how she loves the way that he dresses and that he has great style and how all the women at work want him <~~~ Do i really need to continue??
i would hate to risk ruining our good friendship <~~ thats like a slap in the face.
in the beginning she kept him secret from me , she says because she thought that i wouldnt understand. they shop together , costantly going out to eat <~~ wow
I mean.... i really dont know what else you want to hear....... Shes basically telling you,........ She really wants to give HIM ass but your in the way. What a Slap in the face.
she always mentions how good looking he is and how she loves the way that he dresses and that he has great style and how all the women at work want him <~~~ Do i really need to continue??
i would hate to risk ruining our good friendship <~~ thats like a slap in the face.
in the beginning she kept him secret from me , she says because she thought that i wouldnt understand. they shop together , costantly going out to eat <~~ wow
I mean.... i really dont know what else you want to hear....... Shes basically telling you,........ She really wants to give HIM ass but your in the way. What a Slap in the face.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Fukk asking, just do it.aelux said:
sounds like the other guy is like a "girlfriend" to her. They shop together! You should be grateful that someone else is handling that crap for you. Honestly, if the "other" guy posted here saying that he goes out to eat with this girl, talks about fashion with her and goes shopping with her, what would people say? He's been ljbfed by her is my guess.
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
Some of it sounds bad, but some of it not so much. The fact that she seems drawn to this guy in general, and obviously finds some things about him attractive, is not good at all. If you two are serious you should put your foot down on that. But, as far as what we can tell from your post, they're not doing anything romantic/sexual together, and yeah.....they go shopping. That's girl stuff. The reality is lots of girls have guy friends like that, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. She may have initially hid him from you because you'd react the way you are now, regardless of the nature of their relationship.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql7meT4v2J0vorbis said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.