"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Is she being nice or is she interested?

Rudyy

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So there is this smoking girl in my class in college. I am new to this whole picking up girls thing. I am an incredibly shy guy and it is hard for me to talk to girls, especially hot ones.

Anyway, she is in my group for that class and I think she is sending some IOI's with her eye contact and smiling when we talk. Then out of the blue a few days ago, she IM'ed me and we started talking. She kept saying I was such a great guy by fixing her paper for her. She had to have said that several times. I did give some neg hits and she took it well.

The next day when I walked into class, we made eye contact longer than what is considered "acceptable" I guess you could say. Then she turned around and started talking about how she read my story to her little cousin and blah blah blah.

I am not a bad looking guy. I am guessing 7.5 or 8/10 honestly. I just have very little confidence and like I said, I am a shy guy. How do I go about figuring this out? Is there a way I could first message her on facebook (already friends) to start a little conversation just to start things out or is that not alpha?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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jcap

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yes thats an IOI (prolonged eye contact) , no girl will hold contact with you unless tehy find you attractive or you are bagging their groceries and you just placed the grapes on the bottom with the gallon of milk on top.

Its very simple
your first message is

"hey, i got nothing to do , want to hang out on fridays or saturdays?"
 

scarface316

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You should test or at least observe a little more about her.. Does she play with her hair and always smile when she sees you? One thing I've learned so far is, make your move when you feel it before its too late. (You don't wanna be in the LJBF zone)

I wouldn't IM her on facebook or myspace. Let her do that! (Depends on the situation) If you have her number, call her and keep it playful and short! I would keep talking to her in class but have the two of you guys do something afterwards where you can isolate. But that is where us shy guys fail man... I have the same problem as you do.
 

jcap

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scarface316 said:
I wouldn't IM her on facebook or myspace. Let her do that! (Depends on the situation) .
Just arrive on earth? Don't follow this doods advice.

go im girls, this isn't a crab trap, its more like whale hunting, go out and spear your girl, not sit there and wait for some ridicolous spider crab to walk in.
 

scarface316

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jcap said:
Just arrive on earth? Don't follow this doods advice.

go im girls, this isn't a crab trap, its more like whale hunting, go out and spear your girl, not sit there and wait for some ridicolous spider crab to walk in.
Lol It just depends on how you look at it... I meant to say don't let IM online be the main communication you have between you and the girl... It's a lot better to have her hear your voice or be in person because you can show how different you are from others. You can IM her first but don't do it all the time to the same girl.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Warrior74

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forget about this girl. fix yourself. "is this alpha" your a shy guy. you're not alpha in the least so remove that word from your vocab. You need to focus on coming out of your shell, overcoming your shyness (which is really just emotional fear and selfishness). You need to spend the next couple of weeks/months working on that.

But if going after this girl is what it takes to remove you from your shell, go for it.
 

Rudyy

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Warrior74 said:
forget about this girl. fix yourself. "is this alpha" your a shy guy. you're not alpha in the least so remove that word from your vocab. You need to focus on coming out of your shell, overcoming your shyness (which is really just emotional fear and selfishness). You need to spend the next couple of weeks/months working on that.

But if going after this girl is what it takes to remove you from your shell, go for it.
I'm not saying I'm alpha by any means. I'm probably the least alpha guy when it comes to girls. i just used that as an example I guess.

But I would like to focus on her because my college is like 65% guys and she is one of the FEW good looking girls who is not taken (I don't think at least). Plus she lives like 15 minutes from my house so that would be good for summer.
 
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