"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Is she being nice or is she interested?

Rudyy

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So there is this smoking girl in my class in college. I am new to this whole picking up girls thing. I am an incredibly shy guy and it is hard for me to talk to girls, especially hot ones.

Anyway, she is in my group for that class and I think she is sending some IOI's with her eye contact and smiling when we talk. Then out of the blue a few days ago, she IM'ed me and we started talking. She kept saying I was such a great guy by fixing her paper for her. She had to have said that several times. I did give some neg hits and she took it well.

The next day when I walked into class, we made eye contact longer than what is considered "acceptable" I guess you could say. Then she turned around and started talking about how she read my story to her little cousin and blah blah blah.

I am not a bad looking guy. I am guessing 7.5 or 8/10 honestly. I just have very little confidence and like I said, I am a shy guy. How do I go about figuring this out? Is there a way I could first message her on facebook (already friends) to start a little conversation just to start things out or is that not alpha?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jcap

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yes thats an IOI (prolonged eye contact) , no girl will hold contact with you unless tehy find you attractive or you are bagging their groceries and you just placed the grapes on the bottom with the gallon of milk on top.

Its very simple
your first message is

"hey, i got nothing to do , want to hang out on fridays or saturdays?"
 

scarface316

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You should test or at least observe a little more about her.. Does she play with her hair and always smile when she sees you? One thing I've learned so far is, make your move when you feel it before its too late. (You don't wanna be in the LJBF zone)

I wouldn't IM her on facebook or myspace. Let her do that! (Depends on the situation) If you have her number, call her and keep it playful and short! I would keep talking to her in class but have the two of you guys do something afterwards where you can isolate. But that is where us shy guys fail man... I have the same problem as you do.
 

jcap

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scarface316 said:
I wouldn't IM her on facebook or myspace. Let her do that! (Depends on the situation) .
Just arrive on earth? Don't follow this doods advice.

go im girls, this isn't a crab trap, its more like whale hunting, go out and spear your girl, not sit there and wait for some ridicolous spider crab to walk in.
 

scarface316

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jcap said:
Just arrive on earth? Don't follow this doods advice.

go im girls, this isn't a crab trap, its more like whale hunting, go out and spear your girl, not sit there and wait for some ridicolous spider crab to walk in.
Lol It just depends on how you look at it... I meant to say don't let IM online be the main communication you have between you and the girl... It's a lot better to have her hear your voice or be in person because you can show how different you are from others. You can IM her first but don't do it all the time to the same girl.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Warrior74

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forget about this girl. fix yourself. "is this alpha" your a shy guy. you're not alpha in the least so remove that word from your vocab. You need to focus on coming out of your shell, overcoming your shyness (which is really just emotional fear and selfishness). You need to spend the next couple of weeks/months working on that.

But if going after this girl is what it takes to remove you from your shell, go for it.
 

Rudyy

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Warrior74 said:
forget about this girl. fix yourself. "is this alpha" your a shy guy. you're not alpha in the least so remove that word from your vocab. You need to focus on coming out of your shell, overcoming your shyness (which is really just emotional fear and selfishness). You need to spend the next couple of weeks/months working on that.

But if going after this girl is what it takes to remove you from your shell, go for it.
I'm not saying I'm alpha by any means. I'm probably the least alpha guy when it comes to girls. i just used that as an example I guess.

But I would like to focus on her because my college is like 65% guys and she is one of the FEW good looking girls who is not taken (I don't think at least). Plus she lives like 15 minutes from my house so that would be good for summer.
 
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