"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Is referring to you by name an IOI?

jogel13

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What about if she's not making eye contact but seems interesting in talking to you?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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tsmith2334

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jogel13 said:
What about if she's not making eye contact but seems interesting in talking to you?
I think that indicates one of two scenairos:

A. She is being friendly and courteous but is NOT interested romantically or otherwise

B. She is very interested, to the point where she is nervous in approaching you

Most of the time, it's the first scenario.

However, if she is trying hard to make eye contact but can not hold it, than it's probably Scenario B.
 

tsmith2334

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IKO69 said:
Referring to you by your name can be. I know when I usaully meet a girl I like for the first time I try calling her by name a lot.
Same here. I think it's universal!
 

S.Y.L

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Im gonna have to say no, she may just talk like this normally

Listen to the way she says it.
 

tsmith2334

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S.Y.L said:
Im gonna have to say no, she may just talk like this normally

Listen to the way she says it.
The way she says it sounds "sweet" I guess. I wouldn't have made this thread if it sounded dull or hostile.

Not sure if she's doing it to be polite, but I think it's a little thing girls like her might do without realizing it. I think it's a subtle IOI. Not a major one, just a habit that's good if your on the receiving end.

For the record, I'm not suggesting she's insanely attracted to me, just that she would like to get to know me better, hence the name recall. Logically it makes sense.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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tsmith2334

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Wolf said:
And girls always make sense logically?
No, but just think about the concept of name recalling and exposure.

If you are attracted to someone, you're going to be more responsive and involved in the conservation than you would be otherwise. It's instinctive.

It's a subtle thing to pick up on, and I'll admit it isn't fool proof, but there is validity to the idea if you pick up on it and see other IOIs.
 

ready123

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I work in a business environment and make it a habit to call everyone by name. Reasons I do it are to grease the wheels of the conversation and because the repetition helps me remember people that I meet. NONE of these have anything to do with IOI's (attraction). It's just good people skills in general. This habit is now internalized and carries over into my social life with everyone I meet.

You can make the case that if a girl REMEMBERS your name, you made an impression on her, which may include attraction or not. Whether or not attraction was a factor is interpreted through context and her subcommunication. And a lot of times the social cues you need to figure this out don't exist so it's a waste of time to overanalyze this. The girl might remember your name because she was attracted, or she might remember your name because you look like her little brother. Who knows

I can picture a lot of noobs going out and thinking, she said my name, I thought that meant she liked me, where did I go wrong, totally oblivious to how generalizing an ambiguous social cue makes them totally uncalibrated
 

tsmith2334

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The original girl I had in mind here has since noticeably lost interest :( ... and no longer refers to me by name.

I definitely think it was an IOI.
 

MascaraSnake

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Could be (and much of the time it is), but women are like snowflakes. Don't read into it too much.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bonafide

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thought chick referring to me by name was an IOI come to find out she does it to every guy she talks too... :cry:
 

MascaraSnake

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Bonafide said:
thought chick referring to me by name was an IOI come to find out she does it to every guy she talks too... :cry:
She might just be a flirt, keep that in mind. If a girl smiles at me, touches me on the shoulder, or calls me by name I say "down boy" and take it with a grain of salt...a good many girls enjoy attention from guys and flirt with every one that crosses their path. I'm sure you'd do the same thing if you were in that position.
 

tsmith2334

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MascaraSnake said:
She might just be a flirt, keep that in mind. If a girl smiles at me, touches me on the shoulder, or calls me by name I say "down boy" and take it with a grain of salt...a good many girls enjoy attention from guys and flirt with every one that crosses their path. I'm sure you'd do the same thing if you were in that position.
Yea... that's good advice. Not smart get worked up over a girl who treats every guy like that.

If only there as a flirt vs. true interest indicator.
 

david99

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Is getting a BJ a sign of IOI?

Come on man, just assume all chicks are interested until proven otherwise.
 

SuavePlaya

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I do the same thing IKO69 does. People seem to be more comfortable with you when you refer to them by their names.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Fleshy99

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Maybe she might just be trying to remember your name by repeatition. I know lots of people including myself who are bad with names. On the other hand I usually try to remember people's names when I'm interested in them even for professional reason.

It really depends, I wouldnt go run a country based on that logic.
 
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