Is my look the problem???

[The Duke]

Lmao, yeah I'm definitely very skinny man. I'm gonna start lifting going for a bulk. What do you think I should aim for with weight and bodyfat?

160lbs, <10% body fat.

 

[Illvstrious]

I mean he shouldn't try to gain weight for the sake of weight, and (no homo) I don't think looks are his problem.

Yeah idk I would think being really skinny would hurt him no matter how the face looks. Girls like guys with some size that can throw them around a bed.

 

[resilient]

Hey OP, my suggestion is to make a free account with bodybuilding.com.

You can select the different body build you're going for with your current age, weight, and bf% factored in.

Once selected, you can pick from a free plan to match your goal date. For example, you want to gain/bulk 20 pounds in a few months, you select a daily plan that helps you in what to eat, supplements, and the exercises to follow that day.

A few months ago, I started Kris Gethin's 12-week daily trainer. I'm 5'8 and I started at 136 lbs in April and ended at 156 lbs at the beginning of this month.

Now, I'm onto Arnold's Blueprint to Mass and I'm currently 159.8 lbs.

My one caveat is that I was 7.6%bf at the start, now I'm 10%bf, so I'll probably start working in some cardio to get my bf% back down to the range I like.

 

[FuzzyLives]

@resilient do you think lifting would really make a difference with OP?

 

[resilient]

Lifting helps @FuzzyLives. I wouldn't doubt it if I didn't summarize my gains this year April~July in my previous post.

Fundamentally, though, at his age, OP needs to work on inner confidence. I commuted to a community college at his age, so I wasn't in the party frat/sor scene. From what I've heard from others though who went to main college/university campuses, social proof goes a long way. That's why you hear about club rush, etc. etc.

Looks get your foot in the door.

Personality and status will be important for him at 20.

Money won't become as important until after college when he lands his first job and starts climbing the career ladder or whatever venture he sets his sights on.

 

[FuzzyLives]

Lifting helps @FuzzyLives. I wouldn't doubt it if I didn't summarize my gains this year April~July in my previous post.

Fundamentally, though, at his age, OP needs to work on inner confidence. I commuted to a community college at his age, so I wasn't in the party frat/sor scene. From what I've heard from others though who went to main college/university campuses, social proof goes a long way. That's why you hear about club rush, etc. etc.

Looks get your foot in the door.

Personality and status will be important for him at 20.

Money won't become as important until after college when he lands his first job and starts climbing the career ladder or whatever venture he sets his sights on.

How did you meet girls at your age? I feel like OP's looks now aren't good enough "to get his foot in the door" because he's pretty skinny.

 

[resilient]

How did you meet girls at your age? I feel like OP's looks now aren't good enough "to get his foot in the door" because he's pretty skinny.

I'm a big fan of everything in moderation.

He shouldn't just focus on looks.

He should have an active life, multiple social spheres, hobbies, sports, books, music, investing, whatever he's into. All of that builds the personality to make the man multi-faceted. It's those guys who just sit at home and play video games 24/7 or binge Netflix that look boring af. Real life is experienced offline. Out in the wild. Road trips. All that fun stuff you should be doing at that age.

When I commuted to college, I hung out with my old high school friends. We'd hit the bars and approach or hit up their university parties if I was invited.

 

[Illvstrious]

I was 6'5" 160 when I was 17. Really awkward. I developed bad posture trying to appear shorter!

I remember being happy when my waist size went from 34 to 38. A friend said "Neil, you want to gain weight in your upper body, not your lower body".

Focus on being healthy. Eat 50% raw, 50% green, local, organic, grow a garden (pole beans, cilantro and squash to start), and hire a physical trainer. Get one hour of sun with no sunscreen per day (vitamin D cures 70% of all cancers).

Seriously, you look almost too good. You could be a newscaster.

Hahaa you think op could be a newscaster?

 

[Illvstrious]

I'm a big fan of everything in moderation.

He shouldn't just focus on looks.

He should have an active life, multiple social spheres, hobbies, sports, books, music, investing, whatever he's into. All of that builds the personality to make the man multi-faceted. It's those guys who just sit at home and play video games 24/7 or binge Netflix that look boring af. Real life is experienced offline. Out in the wild. Road trips. All that fun stuff you should be doing at that age.

When I commuted to college, I hung out with my old high school friends. We'd hit the bars and approach or hit up their university parties if I was invited.

I feel what you're saying bro but I've thought that focusing on maximizing looks before you go for girls so then you wouldn't be rejected because of appearance. Also wouldn't game and girls reception towards him change from now as opposed to if he had a stellar physique?

 

[W I Z D O M]

Lifting helps @FuzzyLives. I wouldn't doubt it if I didn't summarize my gains this year April~July in my previous post.

Fundamentally, though, at his age, OP needs to work on inner confidence. I commuted to a community college at his age, so I wasn't in the party frat/sor scene. From what I've heard from others though who went to main college/university campuses, social proof goes a long way. That's why you hear about club rush, etc. etc.

Looks get your foot in the door.

Personality and status will be important for him at 20.

Money won't become as important until after college when he lands his first job and starts climbing the career ladder or whatever venture he sets his sights on.

I've had a pretty rough life honestly verbally and physically abused at home most of my life, which has definitely been part of my low self esteem issues. I was never really allowed to do much when I was younger and really learn about myself. How do you think I could improve confidence with the ladies?

 

[W I Z D O M]

I mean he shouldn't try to gain weight for the sake of weight, and (no homo) I don't think looks are his problem.

Hey I was just wondering what do you think I should rock as far as clothing goes? My style could absolutely use an upgrade. And I was kinda thinking idk if you noticed this but wouldn't the stuff I say and how I was to game women now compared to after I start lifting be taken different by girls? For example, if I was to approach a girl and compliment her or anything really wouldn't she think about it different from when I'm really skinny and look younger then after I build muscle?

 

[bigneil]

Hey I was just wondering what do you think I should rock as far as clothing goes? My style could absolutely use an upgrade. And I was kinda thinking idk if you noticed this but wouldn't the stuff I say and how I was to game women now compared to after I start lifting be taken different by girls? For example, if I was to approach a girl and compliment her or anything really wouldn't she think about it different from when I'm really skinny and look younger then after I build muscle?

I shop at Jos A Bank and have since 2006. You can't go wrong there. Look for their buy one get TWO free sales, or at least buy one get one free. Never pay retail.

 

[Infern0]

lmao I've got some friends that are built and in great shape they seem to just effortlessly get more attention and focus on them. Admittedly I've probably been the complete opposite of healthy lately due to depression. I know it's beta like and low value and all that but for some reason I've always had low confidence not even just with girls man pretty much everything in life.

THIS is the "problem"

Your mission needs to be to overcome this you won't get anywhere until you fix these. TRUST ME i've been there.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Hey OP, my suggestion is to make a free account with bodybuilding.com.

You can select the different body build you're going for with your current age, weight, and bf% factored in.

Once selected, you can pick from a free plan to match your goal date. For example, you want to gain/bulk 20 pounds in a few months, you select a daily plan that helps you in what to eat, supplements, and the exercises to follow that day.

A few months ago, I started Kris Gethin's 12-week daily trainer. I'm 5'8 and I started at 136 lbs in April and ended at 156 lbs at the beginning of this month.

Now, I'm onto Arnold's Blueprint to Mass and I'm currently 159.8 lbs.

My one caveat is that I was 7.6%bf at the start, now I'm 10%bf, so I'll probably start working in some cardio to get my bf% back down to the range I like.

Isn't Kris Gethrins plan pretty difficult to stay on top of eating-wise? I put my height and weight into his calculator and my non workout days he had me consuming 3300 calories per day but with 307g of protein. That'd cost a fortune to keep on top of.

Have you noticed a big difference, are you more cut now than before, or does it just add bulk?

 

[resilient]

See responses.

...focusing on maximizing looks before you go for girls so then you wouldn't be rejected because of appearance. Also wouldn't game and girls reception towards him change from now as opposed to if he had a stellar physique?

You can be a ripped guy who's a gym rat, yet if you don't have the interesting personality with cool hobbies and interests to back up life outside the gym; convo won't go very far after the initial attraction in sets. If he's just trying to rack up his lay count, personality/status isn't as weighed as heavily for party hookups.

I've had a pretty rough life honestly verbally and physically abused at home...definitely been part of my low self-esteem...never really allowed to do much when I was younger and really learn about myself. How do you think I could improve confidence with the ladies?

Ok, first off, you need to accept what happened in your childhood 100%. You have to learn to forgive your parents to move forward. You should read my thread on Catharsis and the Inner-Child [wound]. You don't have to forget what happened, just find a way to find peace within those events and carry on. You develop strong inner confidence by experimenting and pushing yourself beyond limits to stretch yourself. Comfort zone = death. You have to develop the dormant leader within you, that is your masculinity. Embrace it.

Isn't Kris Gethrins plan pretty difficult to stay on top of eating-wise? Have you noticed a big difference, are you more cut now than before, or does it just add bulk?

The goal is to have frequent meals, so you don't experience the big dips in your glycogen levels. Your metabolism needs to be in high gear throughout the day to continue providing fuel to your muscles to restore breakdown in the muscle fibers and lactic acid. I was more cut/defined at 136 because less bodyfat. However, now at 159, I like the strength gains from all the time invested in the gym and diet. I plan on gaining another 5-15 lbs before I start my first cut. It's a time investment. You don't get huge over night and defined. It takes years of bulk/cut cycles to get the physique you want. Plus genetics factor in to the overall look. Keep at it, guys. The ones that are admirable are the motivated ones that train in the gym and the kitchen day in and day out, year after year. Stay disciplined and you'll see results, guaranteed.

 

[marmel75]

You need to put some weight on...a lot of weight...like 30-35 lbs of weight

I was 5'8" 185-190 lbs and was solid muscle. Even now I'm up to 210 and have some fat but still look muscular. Not too many 5'8" dudes weighing 210 lbs don't look like the Michelin Man.

 

[W I Z D O M]

@resilient Well I'm really trying to just attract more girls overall, I definitely wanna up the lay count at my age I'm not really looking for a serious relationship with one girl I'm more trying to just smash lots of girls and if I happen to establish a relationship with one then so be it. But having more interested in general is what I want.

 

[W I Z D O M]

@resilient yeah forgiving my parents is something I honestly don't think I'll be able to do man. I've had no relationship or contact with them in a couple years since I've moved out to a friends house. I feel like dealing with all of that destroyed all inner confidence and pretty much lowered my self value to zero.

 

[W I Z D O M]

THIS is the "problem"

Your mission needs to be to overcome this you won't get anywhere until you fix these. TRUST ME i've been there.

Thanks for the advice man I try to but it's so hard, how were you able to overcome it and start feeling good?