Is my girlfriend ****ing her ex?

[AFC_Schism]

I'm texting my girlfriend, should I be worried about this? Her ex (according to her, was abusive, but basically he just displayed higher value than her and ignored her and was an ******* so she was all over his ****) broke up with her a while back, and even after they broke up he kept her around for sex for at least 3 months. She described him as "abusive", but to her "abusive" just means he knows how to completely dominate girls with no self esteem and keep them stringing along.

I met her way after this, but recently I found out he was texting her every now and then, and she was actually replying and talking to him. And he's also asked her to hang out and she hasn't responded to those texts, but when he talks to her just making small talk she responds. I talked about this with her today and here's the conversation:

Her: I dont see how texting him twice and not even having a conversation with him constitutes as talking to him occasionally at all.

Me: I dont get why you respond to him at all after the way you guys were, you obviously thought the relationship was abusive. If that was me I wouldnt even respond.

Her: Honestly youre right. I shouldnt of responded. But you know what? Its not like I'm back in his trap. I AM completely over him, and thats why i didnt see it as that big of a deal, but i also didnt try to continue to conversation any further. I saw it and still do see it as completely harmless b/c it was a random text.

Me: Why do you think he's texting you in the first place?

Her: It doesnt matter why hes texting me. It doesnt matter to me if hes over me or not, i cant change that. it doesnt matter how he feels, it matters how i feel and i couldnt give two ****s about him, that's what I want you to truly believe, is that im over him

It's coming off to me like she's still not over this guy.... Am I just being paranoid or should I trust my intuition on this one? She admitted to texting him back even after I told her not to, and justified it because "we were on a break", but at the same time she has sworn she hates him and never wants to talk to him again.

Also, she has admitted to cheating on a past boyfriend before, and this guy obviously seems like he knew how to keep stringing girls along and so I'd view this as a learning experience for me (and probably take notes), but its just a bummer, I never really suspected this girl that way. I can't see why she'd go back to him, I've seen pictures of him, I'm more attractive by a long shot and I'm willing to put money down that I'm better at sex (I've been fortunate enough to be blessed with the ability to last a really long time - I've ****ed her for an hour straight before I came, she can barely even handle me that long and she literally won't shut up about how good I am, so much so that she even boasts to her friends about it).

I guess it goes to show that there's more to the game than looking good and ****ing good. I dunno, what do you guys think about this situation?

 

[Kailex]

What do you want people to say to you that they didn't say already two weeks ago in your last thread?

How long have you two been dating?

 

[LegendaryGame]

yes there is more. At the end of the day. The end of the end of the day. Only one type of F8Cking matters. ONly one type that is truly needed to completely dominate a woman inside out and have her as a soldier who follows orders level of dominance. Any command or anything u want.

That type of F8Cking is ...... Mental F8cK! If you cant mentally destroy a girl to the point of her not understanding you you will never win. You must mental sex the girl to the extreme.

 

[Iceberg]

I guess it goes to show that there's more to the game than looking good and ****ing good. I dunno, what do you guys think about this situation?

Yeah. There's always been more to looking good and being good in bed. In theory (I don't know the full situation), this ex boyfriend could be exciting to her. A mountain to climb. You're the steady, reliable 4-door sedan. And he's a motorcycle.

Is she banging this dude? It's tough to tell. I've had some cool ex's, but when things are over, I can be cool enough to back off, let the girl find a new man, and go work on my own life. Maybe months down the line, I'll say "hi" via email.

This guy, from the sounds of it, is looking to bang her. Because he just sounds like that type. She probably knows this. So the question becomes, if she's not banging him, then what purpose does this abusive ex serve in her life? Nothing beneficial to you. That's for sure.

 

[Ease]

Abusive means he is something you need to make a big note of. He will kick your ass while you play the confused nice guy game. He has strong game and the way your handling it isnt the best way.

The only way to beat the ashole ex is to out-ashole him.

When she mentions an ex that is abusive, or an ex that she hates, its an ex that she still lingers on. I'v been the 'ashole ex' before and it is very easy to get back into the picture until she finds a new 'ashole bf'.

Think of any emotion toward him as interest. You want all of her emotion to be toward you, that way there is no room for him. This is the only fullproof guarentee of loyalty you get from a girl.

Its also important that you show no reaction to her talking to her ex right now, because the last thing you want to do when you have tough competition is to lose man points by showing insecurity. Be a badboy, an ashole, whatever you like to call it. Stop giving her comfort, security and commitment. Theres a time and a place for that, but right now you want her mind to be on you instead of him.

 

[LegendaryGame]

text other girls and just call the m coworkers. go out to happy hour with girls and then just act cool. when she calls her tel her your busy. flirt in her face. then when she is pissed and wants to have a talk. dont do anything and just go upto her and TEAR it up hard! then resume life. The ex will be nonexistent desperate sounding chump after you strike like this. THe moment you constantly act insecure etc. you're a fool. Never make a girl feel like she has to explain herself to you. just do what you need to with her.

aka dont be an AFC or bad boy ex will hit it raw in your bed and leave her with jzzd sheets and shell like it

 

[playerone]

I don't see any problem at all.

You're in a relationship. And trust is key. You're acting like how any other random guy on the street would. That's insecure.

I'd talk to her about it, but not in the way you did. You reeked of jealousy and insecurity. Firstly, it's her life. She can choose whether to text her ex-boyfriend or anyone else. You're trying to restrict her from doing so. Secondly, she told you she is over him and that there's nothing between them anymore. What are you going to do, talk her into saying that she's cheating behind your back?

The fact is, you can only choose to trust her or leave her.

I'd trust her. If i find out she's cheating, the relationship is over. But that's just me.

 

[Captain]

She cheated with another boyfriend, once a cheater, always a cheater.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

I'd trust her. If i find out she's cheating, the relationship is over. But that's just me.

I liked some of what u said but this stuck out. How would you know? To me by then you've already been played pretty hard and as an aspiring DJ i'd think you'd wanna try to avoid that if you can.

Esp. in this case where the original poster has felt strong enough about this to have made 2 posts in the last 2 weeks about it. Sry dude; if somethings not up, it seems like it doesnt rly even matter.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Don't just judge based on words or actions; instead, look at the motivations.

Why would he text your gf to hang out? Because he wants to have sex with her. Why did she text back a couple of times? Because she's curious and wants his validation after being dumped.

Of course, this doesn't mean that they will have sex. It DOES mean that you need to keep her away from him. You probably know that when you get dumped, you tend to have an emotional reaction to that ex for a long time. Now, imagine being full of estrogen.

If you try to reason with her about this, you will lose. You need to focus the attention away from the ex and on yourself--start working to keep her interest level up. That means acting more confident, becoming more social, and rewarding her good behavior more. If you find out that she's texting him behind your back, drop her. Incidentally, dumping someone has a way of increasing their interest in you.

You don't have to be a jerk to out-alpha this ex, but you DO need to be bold and assertive. Protect the boundaries of your relationship; there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON she should be speaking with this guy at all.

 

[(JJ)]

You don't have to be a jerk to out-alpha this ex, but you DO need to be bold and assertive. Protect the boundaries of your relationship; there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON she should be speaking with this guy at all.

there's not much to add onto this. this is a perfect opportunity for you to remind her how you have no fear of leaving her as s for someone who is gonna respect you the way you deserve. define your boundaries of the relationship. they are different for every person in every relationship. for me, texting exes is not allowed. "hey, im not EVER gonna tell you what to do. but you need to know that i find the way you're handling this to be exceedingly disrespectful, and it will not be tolerated any longer. if you want him, that's totally fine, but you can't have both of us." the only way this works is if you actually CAN walk away. be prepared for her to ***** and moan, esp if her il isnt as high as it once was. and that's fine. if she makes a fuss, you cut her off, and say "alright. i understand what you want. take care of yourself." and leave from there.

 

[909pua]

You need to dump her. Its not gonna be worth it dude. Dump immediately! Most likely her Ex is still hitting that.

 

[WC2]

She cheated with another boyfriend, once a cheater, always a cheater.

This is such a cop out. A woman will cheat if she is emotionally swayed enough, no matter if she has cheated before or not. Unless she lives in a society where she will be PUNISHED brutally for adultery, she will do it. And in America women are not punished in the least when they cheat. The most they will get is a few nasty looks from those who shun her.

Unless she has cheated on multiple boyfriends and NEVER had a successful relationship, this is a null point. If a man handles a woman like a man, she will refuse to cheat (hence her ex).

As for the OP, the main problem I see here is your insecurity. I mean you're practically putting this dude on a PEDESTAL.

'omg he has such good game, like omg he is so good at stringing girls along'

OK. Maybe he is. Get over it. It's not his time anymore, it is YOUR time.

I know how you feel. I've had a GF before that had an 'abusive' BF before me also. At first I was insecure. But then I realized I needed to strap down and make her so emotional that any attachment she had with her ex would be laughable.

This is done through creating value in yourself and making it known subconsciously to her that you can have other women and you will not hesitate to DROP her right away if she is not what you had in mind.

Now all this might sound a bit ABUSIVE (sound familiar), but all women respond positively to this, and especially yours.

Do not even bring up her EX. Everytime that you bring him up and ask about him, you are scoring points for him.

You can even get to the point of telling your GF that you don't mind if she talks to her EX. The less you CARE, the more she will realize that you're really the prize. Since her EX never cared, he is the prize to her.

It's time to stop idolizing him and start building your own relationship with this woman.

 

[Hyper2010]

Abusive fellow

If per say you were to meet this badboyish fellow and he decides to get abusive with you...What would be the most Alpha type of reaction? How would a DJ react to someone's ex taking a swing for him?

Just asking, Im in exact same situation...Except this fellow has actually threatened Me...

 

[SexyMofo]

Your problem is that you tried to make a housewife outta a ho.

This b*tch is strictly booty call material.

 

[Warrior74]

If per say you were to meet this badboyish fellow and he decides to get abusive with you...What would be the most Alpha type of reaction? How would a DJ react to someone's ex taking a swing for him?

Just asking, Im in exact same situation...Except this fellow has actually threatened Me...

What would a dj do? What would be most alpha? How about this...what would a grown ass man do? Geez you guys. Keeping it nerdy. If a guy takes a swing at me, I'm giving two back. That's how you get capone. I know the whole fighting over a girl crowd will try to shame me, but hell if he swung its already a fight. I'm just defending myself by trying to knock his head off.

Let me tell you something son, going through the baby mama drama, my ex's new boyfriend threated to kick my ass. I tried to be civil and polite, but the more I did, the more he heaped abuse on me verbally. Finally when he told me I couldn't see my daughter anymore, and that he should just shoot me, I showed up with the .45 ****ed and ready to rock, I was fully prepared to put this bytch ass in the dirt. When I flashed the heat on him, and said you want your kids to be orphans, he changed his fvcking tone real quick. "Look man, lets start over man" Fvck that, "you play your role and you get to breath, don't and your mama gets to grieve". I'm a laid back guy, but if you push me, I will kill you. That's what happens. We both say "I don't give a fvck" and then see who really means it.

 

[Iceberg]

Let me tell you something son, going through the baby mama drama, my ex's new boyfriend threated to kick my ass. I tried to be civil and polite, but the more I did, the more he heaped abuse on me verbally. Finally when he told me I couldn't see my daughter anymore, and that he should just shoot me, I showed up with the .45 ****ed and ready to rock, I was fully prepared to put this bytch ass in the dirt. When I flashed the heat on him, and said you want your kids to be orphans, he changed his fvcking tone real quick. "Look man, lets start over man" Fvck that, "you play your role and you get to breath, don't and your mama gets to grieve". I'm a laid back guy, but if you push me, I will kill you. That's what happens. We both say "I don't give a fvck" and then see who really means it.

Jesus Christ, buddy.

I don't care how big a D-bag he is. Leave the gun at home and get a damn lawyer. The only people who'll respect that brand of "don't give a f***" macho-ness are in Cell Block E.

 

[Warrior74]

Jesus Christ, buddy.

I don't care how big a D-bag he is. Leave the gun at home and get a damn lawyer. The only people who'll respect that brand of "don't give a f***" macho-ness are in Cell Block E.

LOL. I was dealing with someone from cell block E. Like I said, polite and civil and quoting the court order wasn't working. Things are beautiful now. Dude calls me when he's on his way to drop my kid off. Of course I turned a few more screws on him that I won't go into here. I turned all the screws. When it comes to my kid, I don't play around. I will level you. :yes:

Law 33

Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.​

 

[909pua]

Hey Warrior, just watch it man. That dude one day may try to push your wig bag just for flashin him! Be careful. He may be a sheep now but will turn into a wolf later.

 

[bukowski_merit]

AFC_Schism - your discussions with this girl are weak and pathetic and everything you've posted on this board is weak and pathetic....

If you want an answer to all your problems - grow a pair of balls and stop being so damned weak and pathetic with everything....

She right now has a machete in her hand and is walking towards you like she's going to stab you.... Instead of getting the fvck out of the way - you're asking her what she's going to do with the machete, and you're listening to her when she says, "oh, nothing".