"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

is it worth cold approaching without eye contact first?

Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
is it worth cold approaching without eye contact first?


I have found that most of the times women will at least chat with me for a while and give me some time if we both get eye contact first. If I approach without her acknowledging me first the approach goes cheesy.



what do you guys think ?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

sfalexi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2004
Messages
381
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
NJ
If I ever did cold approach, I'd have some excuse. Even if it's just something as stupid as 'accidentally' bumping into her, saying sorry, and then continuing from there. But then I guess it's not completely cold.

Cold approaches work best when you're hot. Really, really hot.

Alexi
 
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by sfalexi
If I ever did cold approach, I'd have some excuse. Even if it's just something as stupid as 'accidentally' bumping into her, saying sorry, and then continuing from there. But then I guess it's not completely cold.

Cold approaches work best when you're hot. Really, really hot.

Alexi

and u check her out first and wait for her to check u out ?
 

saki

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2004
Messages
190
Reaction score
1
Location
kali
quit asking advise from girls here, they dont know anything
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

sfalexi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2004
Messages
381
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
NJ
Saki,

I'm a guy.


nomoremisterniceguy,

I check her out BEFORE the 'bump'. After the bump I apoligize, ask her if she spilled anything or something, then smile and walk away. Then come back later. She'll at least recognize me on the second approach.

Alexi
 

saki

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2004
Messages
190
Reaction score
1
Location
kali
Originally posted by sfalexi
Saki,

I'm a guy.


nomoremisterniceguy,

I check her out BEFORE the 'bump'. After the bump I apoligize, ask her if she spilled anything or something, then smile and walk away. Then come back later. She'll at least recognize me on the second approach.

Alexi
no pun but your name is Alexi and your a guy?
 

sfalexi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2004
Messages
381
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
NJ
I'm puerto rican. And my name used to be Alexis (which in spanish cultures is a guy's name). Since I live in America, my family foresaw the future problems of being "Alexis" and dropped the "s". So "Alexi" still causes confusion over the internet, but not so much in real life.

It works.
 

sfalexi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2004
Messages
381
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
NJ
no biggie. It's the net. Mistakes are bound to happen.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

bobbob

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2004
Messages
261
Reaction score
1
Of course you can approach without eye contact, stop being a ***** and just do it.
 

tihash

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Messages
476
Reaction score
15
I agree with bobob. I cold approached a HB last week, talked for less than 3 min., got her #, and had a date with her this past week. It works. Not always, but don't believe the crap about cold approaches not working. They do.
 
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by tihash
I agree with bobob. I cold approached a HB last week, talked for less than 3 min., got her #, and had a date with her this past week. It works. Not always, but don't believe the crap about cold approaches not working. They do.

where is that crap ? tell me the which websites so I can avoid 'em
 

Scoiland

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2005
Messages
211
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
western canada
honestly though, what the hell do you have to lose from a cold approach

ya it might be going kind of bad since she never showed any eye contact first because she would be caught off guard

but sometimes it is hard to make eye contact with someone that you want to meet, so f*** it and just do it !!!
 
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Scoiland
honestly though, what the hell do you have to lose from a cold approach

ya it might be going kind of bad since she never showed any eye contact first because she would be caught off guard

but sometimes it is hard to make eye contact with someone that you want to meet, so f*** it and just do it !!!


lose your own believe that cold approaches DO work and start to believe what love doctors preach that
"you cannot pick up strangers"


I've read the book "The System" by Roy Valentine which states that in order to not get rejected never approach without any signs from her.

I see from my experience that I may be had lost several opportunities.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
297
Location
UK
I would never approach without some kind of signal, but that's just me.

How I see it, the odds are always stacked against guys who approach women without signals because...

She could be in a relationship, not looking, not attracted to him, in a bad mood, in a rush, too shy to talk, too cautious, a b1tch who enjoys humiliating you, a tease, a flake, or may be intimidated, annoyed, offended, embarrassed or just turned off by guys who approach.

In fact, there's a very minimal chance you are going to get a positive response from a direct cold approach.

If she's purposely making eye contact, at least she's expressing an invite to approach.
 

AlwaysExcel

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2004
Messages
293
Reaction score
0
Location
Midwest USA
Last night, I saw a chick who was a dead ringer for the girl who plays Kelly Osbourne's hot cousin in that cable TV highschool drama with the midget psychologist. She walked past me in the bar without looking at me. I noticed her choker necklace made from tiny dominoes. I stopped her by grabbing her arm when she was almost past me and gently pulled her back in front of me. I acted almost preoccupied and told her I wanted to check out her necklace as I touched it and her neck. We got into a cool conversation and she ended up being pretty funny and friendly.

EC is not necessary. Who cares if the "odds are stacked against you?" It's up to men to make it happen. Sure I was crazy peacocked but having a strong dominant frame is all that really matters. In fact, peacocking itself can convey a strong frame because you're living in your own funky reality and don't give a fvck that you aren't fitting in with the crowd. Frame is key.
 

Double J

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Messages
73
Reaction score
0
Location
Florida
I agree that the odds are stacked up against you, but after taking the initiative to make the cold approach, you feel good about yourself that you had the cojones to do it.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Top