"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Is it wise to steer clear of this woman for a while?

Jariel

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I've started seeing a great woman recently who seemed extremely keen until today. We had arranged to meet up this evening, but when I got in touch to ask what was happening she said she'd have to cancel due to some bad news in her family.

Normally I would make the effort to be there for her and try to be understanding, but have had bad experiences from doing this. I don't want to be her shoulder to cry on or her friend so I've decided to back off, give her space and wait for her to get in touch with me.

A lot of the DJ material I've read suggests that this is the best thing to do, but do I risk appearing cold and uncaring?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Don_Jon

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I think you should take the advice of the material on here, and kinda steer clear a little, maybe not cut off talkin to her completely but, just enough so that you give her space if she feels like she needs you then ur still available.
 

DJDamage

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If you are not her boyfriend don't make an effort.

When you first start dating a chick you never met before, she only wants to see "the fun you" if you get emotionally deep with her problems so soon, she will associate that negative feeling with you and terminate the relationship.

Give her space and don't mention the bad stuff in her family unless she mentions it first. Then steer the conversation away from the depressing part to fun part. If she is not into a fun activity or conversation call it a night and head home until she is in a good mood again. You don't want to become her emotional tampon because of her problem.
 

flexion_

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She cancelled your plans because of the family problem. If she wanted you involved she would have asked. Steer clear.
 

Jariel

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Thanks guys, I'll go with the advice being given.

It could be a lie and a cowardly brush off, but some distance is probably best either way.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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