"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Is it wise to steer clear of this woman for a while?

Jariel

Master Don Juan
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I've started seeing a great woman recently who seemed extremely keen until today. We had arranged to meet up this evening, but when I got in touch to ask what was happening she said she'd have to cancel due to some bad news in her family.

Normally I would make the effort to be there for her and try to be understanding, but have had bad experiences from doing this. I don't want to be her shoulder to cry on or her friend so I've decided to back off, give her space and wait for her to get in touch with me.

A lot of the DJ material I've read suggests that this is the best thing to do, but do I risk appearing cold and uncaring?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Don_Jon

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I think you should take the advice of the material on here, and kinda steer clear a little, maybe not cut off talkin to her completely but, just enough so that you give her space if she feels like she needs you then ur still available.
 

DJDamage

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If you are not her boyfriend don't make an effort.

When you first start dating a chick you never met before, she only wants to see "the fun you" if you get emotionally deep with her problems so soon, she will associate that negative feeling with you and terminate the relationship.

Give her space and don't mention the bad stuff in her family unless she mentions it first. Then steer the conversation away from the depressing part to fun part. If she is not into a fun activity or conversation call it a night and head home until she is in a good mood again. You don't want to become her emotional tampon because of her problem.
 

flexion_

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She cancelled your plans because of the family problem. If she wanted you involved she would have asked. Steer clear.
 

Jariel

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Thanks guys, I'll go with the advice being given.

It could be a lie and a cowardly brush off, but some distance is probably best either way.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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