"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Is it too controlling giving a time constraint for when she needs to get back to u?

C

Confused

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
111
Reaction score
1
If you give a girl a suggestion of where you're going to take her out by text and you add at the end of it 'let me know by midnight tonight as i'll need to make arrangements' so that she needs to make a decision.

would this be perceived as being too controlling and needy?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

F

f283000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
197
My question for you would be why are you asking for her suggestion on where to take her out? Girls don't want to be leaders they want a strong man to lead THEM. Asking a girl "hey you think we should go here, reply by midnight" you know how wimpy that sounds? You are basically asking for permission to take her to a certain place.

Girls love dates because of the element of fun, romance, surprise and because they get to be led to a man. When you take that away you are already giving yourself a struggle to win the game. When you take all that away it doesn't become a date it becomes hanging out with another of her girlfriends. She doesn't want a girlfriend if she agrees to go out with you she wants a man and she expects a man to set the time/place of where the meeting will take place and where it will go from there.
 
S

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
373
Age
67
Location
South Dakota
just say call by midnight so I can make other plans...make her wonder who those are with
 
F

f283000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
197
Here is what I do which has worked for me so far. Let's say I want to take her to dinner first. I tell her to meet me like a block or 2 from the restaurant I plan to take her to. I don't tell her what we are going to do I just tell her to meet me downtown or wherever I plan to meet. We meet and I get her walking in that direction. Walking together creates bonding and gives her the feeling of being a couple with you. Plus you can use the opportunity to kino and walk with your arm across her shoulder. As you guys are talking you tell her you are starving and you know this great restaurant close to here. It will all seem spontaneous to her which is good you want her to get a feeling of you being an spontaneous guy.

It's better to have an element of surprise and fun rather than telling her everything you plan on doing and taking away that element of surprise, "hey what do you think about going to this place on saturday, then we can go have dinner at red robin, then maybe go to a movie at the theater." You know how that sounds? it sounds like a script. You should have a script for what you are going to do on a date but just don't tell her! The key is for you to know and have the places scoped out of where you plan to take her.

Never ask for their suggestions on where to go. It's your job to take her for a ride.
 
C

Confused

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
111
Reaction score
1
f283000 said:
My question for you would be why are you asking for her suggestion on where to take her out? Girls don't want to be leaders they want a strong man to lead THEM. Asking a girl "hey you think we should go here, reply by midnight" you know how wimpy that sounds? You are basically asking for permission to take her to a certain place.

Girls love dates because of the element of fun, romance, surprise and because they get to be led to a man. When you take that away you are already giving yourself a struggle to win the game. When you take all that away it doesn't become a date it becomes hanging out with another of her girlfriends. She doesn't want a girlfriend if she agrees to go out with you she wants a man and she expects a man to set the time/place of where the meeting will take place and where it will go from there.
Click to expand...
No no, you dont get it. I'm leading but giving her the time constraint of when to get back to me by. for instance it's like 'we'll go to this place blah blah, let me know by midnight tonight as i'll need to make arrangements.'
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

C

Confused

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2009
Messages
111
Reaction score
1
sodbuster said:
just say call by midnight so I can make other plans...make her wonder who those are with
Click to expand...
if the end of my text is 'let me know your decision by 12 tonight as i'll need to make arrangements.' should i change that to

'let me know your decision by 12 tonight so i can make other plans'

does that make sense?

if i were to say 'let me know your decision by 12 tonight otherwise i'll make other plans' does that sound right?

the plan is to give her 2 options to choose from without too much detail, 1 of which is a surprise.

if i say 'or i'll make other plans' it sounds as if i'm making other plans with her not with someone else..

the text has to have a time already arranged in it or it wont make sense.
 
Kailex

Kailex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
2,072
Reaction score
190
Location
New Jersey
Confused said:
If you give a girl a suggestion of where you're going to take her out by text and you add at the end of it 'let me know by midnight tonight as i'll need to make arrangements' so that she needs to make a decision.

would this be perceived as being too controlling and needy?
Click to expand...
Yes. It is.

Everyone else has explained why. You are NOT leading by giving a time constraint. If in your mind you want to give her til midnight to get back to you, then do so, but DON'T tell her. If she gets back to you 2 days later, you just say: Sorry, I made other plans already.

And why the hell would you need to know by midnight? What in the blue hell do you need to make arrangements for? A charter jet? Your butler to pick her up? What's the point of a deadline if there's no real point to it.

Hell, you might even score yourself one of those women who will ask: WHY MIDNIGHT.

And then you'll say: To make arrangements.

And then she'll text you a: LOL
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top