Is it rude for a girl to just leave the country with no warning?

[lyracis]

Met a hot Italian girl on the way to work. Exchange numbers set up a date. Have a really great first date, one of those first dates where you talk for hours, laugh a lot, smile a lot and end up having a steamy kiss. So naturally I'm looking forward to seeing her again and looking forwards even more to sleeping with her.

Then she throws me off balance at the end of the date when she goes cold and says she has an early flight in the morning and needs to get back. I walk her home and she says she'll call me when she's back.

I think nothing of it at first. I assume she went cold because she was embarassed at making out with a guy on the first date, especially as she said she wanted to kiss me first. And I assume since she is at language school and renting an expensive place in town that she's just gone away for the weekend.

But it has been over a week and she is still not back. I only have her english number so have no way of contacting her. I assume she has gone back home for Easter or something, but it strikes me as a bit odd that she did not mention this or give any indication of when she would be back.

Is she being rude or displaying lack of interest, or is this to be expected when a girl has to leave the country so early on after meeting a guy? Also is it weird she did not mention it except as an afterthought at the end of the date?

 

[thedeparted]

Of course it's rude -- but women do this all the time. Flush the number and forget about her.

 

[Phyzzle]

Maybe not rude, but "distant" would be the right word. It would have been more friendly to say when she was coming back, and not quickly say "wellIgottago,bye" before leaving for a month.

Did it not occur to you to ask her how long she would be? Or did she take off too quickly?

 

[DJDamage]

Is she being rude or displaying lack of interest, or is this to be expected when a girl has to leave the country so early on after meeting a guy? Also is it weird she did not mention it except as an afterthought at the end of the date?

The problem is not her but you.

This is why we advocate spining plates. When you do then you do not sit around for a week wondering about some random girl's whereabout.

It might not have been an ideal situation to go on a date a day before she goes on vacation and its a shortsighting on her part but this is has been only 1 DATE and if she is using that as an excuse or taking her sweet time to contact you then she ain't worth it.

 

[lyracis]

I did not think to ask her when she would be back. Like I said she only mentioned she was off to Italy when she asked me to walk her home and as it was Thursday night I kinda assumed it would just be a long weekend or something as she was so vague about it.

I agree it is weird to accept a date knowing you have a vacation the next day without being upfront about it and bringing it up a lot sooner.

It is possible she is not able to contact me because she did not take her english mobile with her. I never take my mobile on holiday and im guessing she has an italian as well as an english mobile.

I agree I have to spin plates, as after one date a girl is not worth wondering about. I'm not a huge fan of playing the field, but under these circumstances it would be stupid to burn a torch for her and I'm sure she is going out and kissing other boys.

So I think the best medicine would just be to forget about her, get out and chat up some other girls, and if she gets back in contact at some stage in the future then think about giving her a second chance.

 

[synergy1]

is it rude to leave the country and go back home? seriously, grow a pair man. We live in a free world last time I checked, its not "rude" if she goes back home. If she flakes, she flakes...time to move on. Dwelling on that crap is counter productive.

 

[mrRuckus]

We live in a free world last time I checked, its not "rude" if she goes back home. .

Haha, we certainly do not live in a free world.

 

[Mr. Me]

I did not think to ask her when she would be back.

Good thing. Imagine how you would've come across if you did think to ask.

Like I said she only mentioned she was off to Italy when she asked me to walk her home

Gee, that's a great way of getting rid of someone! I think I'll try it too.

It is possible she is not able to contact me because she did not take her english mobile with her. I never take my mobile on holiday and im guessing she has an italian as well as an english mobile.

Wow, you sure guess a lot!

I agree I have to spin plates

Sure! Why not? That's what she does!

if she gets back in contact at some stage in the future

Mia congettura è che non state andando mai sentirsi ancora da lei. Arrivederci.

 

[lyracis]

I think "rude" was a poor choice of word. I think weird would have been better. Certainly I have never had a girl accept a first date and then leave the country the next day without making her plans perfectly clear so I knew where I stood.

Mr Me's interpretation I think is on the money. Obviously if you have no intention of seeing someone again it would not occur to tell them when you would back.

However I think it is a bit cynical saying she is pretending to leave the country to get rid of me. She is a student and most students are on vacation at the moment and it is entirely plausible she would go home for easter.

Anyway thanks guys for reminding me that it is stupid to care that a girl I just met is out of the country when there are so many other girls in the country that I can be chasing instead.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't see what the problem is. She told you that she was leaving and would call you back. Until she would call you back, forget about her. If she has interest in you, she'll contact you.

SPIN MORE PLATES!

 

[decades]

if she is a hot Italian girl you are not the only guy she is being rude to.

 

[Mr. Me]

I think it is a bit cynical saying she is pretending to leave the country to get rid of me.

Doesn't mean it's not possible.

I think it's also cynical to believe something like that a prosecuting attorney who goes after prostitution rings would himself ever be a client of one of them. That could never happen!

 

[lyracis]

Haha Mr Me. Point taken!