I've been through the most painful experience in my life after my breakup (2 years LTR, I fell for her hard), and I realized I'm not over it yet. I wonder, has anyone been through this process and was able to commit again to someone?. I think that if I manage to be happy on my own, I'd never want to risk it commiting into a new LTR
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it possible to commit again after a painful breakup?
- Thread starter Anargyros
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
It depends I guess however I have avoided getting committed again for fear of getting hurt so deep again. Mine was 5 year LTR. Has taken me 4 years to completely recover but i have no desire to jump into another LTR. Many women i dated wanted one with me but i would bail out. I never want to feel that kind of brutal pain again.
hockeyfreak79
Master Don Juan
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I've had 2 relationship after my marriage, 7 year ltr. It gets easier dude, don't ignore red flags & stick to your standards and you'll be fine. The 2 relationships only lasted a year or alittle over. Nethier of them lived with me so break-ups are relatively drama free & pretty easy to move on from. Take some time work on yourself, she'll will be a distant memory eventually.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I think many factors come into play on how bad a break up was that positions your mindset and emotions in the future. I think i would have done better if i knew we werent getting along anymore and decided to separate. However in my case, She kept pushing and suggesting how she wanted to marry me and around the 4year mark i started thinking about it and she kept on about how much she loved me. She pushed for family gatherings so that our families would get accustomed to one another since we were going to push our relationship to the next level. Next thing you know she turned on me and i found out she fvcked around on me during our 5th year. She left and got engaged to another guy 2 months after the breakup. You can imagine how i was feeling. never again will i feel that fvcking hurt again. I have been dating and fvcking around with loads of women, has to be 100+ range but deep down i know that sleeping around with hot women will lead to a hollow emptiness. If i do meet a girl i like enough to try a LTR again, best believe my heart will be protected.djthiago1 said:
Between_The_Lines
Master Don Juan
I think (or would like to think) that once you reach this point of being happy on your own, you may find that you see things differently and be more willing to reconsider, but what you wrote begs the question: was she your source (or primary source) of happiness?Anargyros said:
Between_The_Lines
Master Don Juan
After getting burned a decade and some change ago, I too decided to throw up an iron wall around my heart, but what this lead to was an avoidance to get close enough with any girl I was truly into and many, many flings and short term relationships with "safe bets". Weak, weak, weak. Careful not to tread down this path.In2theGame said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Yes, but thats what you get for staking your happiness and well-being in someone or something outside of yourself. First you need to work on being complete within yourself and then you will be mature enough to carry yourself in an LTR and not let the superficial ups and downs of life have such an effect on you.Anargyros said:
The sentiments in this thread are interesting. On the one hand, you do want to be self-sufficient and not rely on the woman for your happiness. When she leaves, your whole life will be in shambles.
But at the same time, if she leaves you and you're just like "eh, whatever", it seems to me as though you had one foot out the door the whole time and were never truly invested in the relationship.
Everything has a risk to it. In the words of Shark, "Life is a risk, Love is a risk." But the greatest gamble is to not gamble at all.
There needs to be a balance though. If a woman you loved leaves you in an LTR, I would think it odd if you were not hurt. Let yourself feel the hurt and the pain, but know when you gotta move on. Ever read the Count of Monte Cristo? Even Edmond Dantes found someone he loved again (just read that book, was so good >_>)
But at the same time, if she leaves you and you're just like "eh, whatever", it seems to me as though you had one foot out the door the whole time and were never truly invested in the relationship.
Everything has a risk to it. In the words of Shark, "Life is a risk, Love is a risk." But the greatest gamble is to not gamble at all.
There needs to be a balance though. If a woman you loved leaves you in an LTR, I would think it odd if you were not hurt. Let yourself feel the hurt and the pain, but know when you gotta move on. Ever read the Count of Monte Cristo? Even Edmond Dantes found someone he loved again (just read that book, was so good >_>)