I've been through the most painful experience in my life after my breakup (2 years LTR, I fell for her hard), and I realized I'm not over it yet. I wonder, has anyone been through this process and was able to commit again to someone?. I think that if I manage to be happy on my own, I'd never want to risk it commiting into a new LTR
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Is it possible to commit again after a painful breakup?
- Thread starter Anargyros
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
It depends I guess however I have avoided getting committed again for fear of getting hurt so deep again. Mine was 5 year LTR. Has taken me 4 years to completely recover but i have no desire to jump into another LTR. Many women i dated wanted one with me but i would bail out. I never want to feel that kind of brutal pain again.
hockeyfreak79
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2013
- Messages
- 1,038
- Reaction score
- 337
I've had 2 relationship after my marriage, 7 year ltr. It gets easier dude, don't ignore red flags & stick to your standards and you'll be fine. The 2 relationships only lasted a year or alittle over. Nethier of them lived with me so break-ups are relatively drama free & pretty easy to move on from. Take some time work on yourself, she'll will be a distant memory eventually.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I think many factors come into play on how bad a break up was that positions your mindset and emotions in the future. I think i would have done better if i knew we werent getting along anymore and decided to separate. However in my case, She kept pushing and suggesting how she wanted to marry me and around the 4year mark i started thinking about it and she kept on about how much she loved me. She pushed for family gatherings so that our families would get accustomed to one another since we were going to push our relationship to the next level. Next thing you know she turned on me and i found out she fvcked around on me during our 5th year. She left and got engaged to another guy 2 months after the breakup. You can imagine how i was feeling. never again will i feel that fvcking hurt again. I have been dating and fvcking around with loads of women, has to be 100+ range but deep down i know that sleeping around with hot women will lead to a hollow emptiness. If i do meet a girl i like enough to try a LTR again, best believe my heart will be protected.djthiago1 said:
Between_The_Lines
Master Don Juan
I think (or would like to think) that once you reach this point of being happy on your own, you may find that you see things differently and be more willing to reconsider, but what you wrote begs the question: was she your source (or primary source) of happiness?Anargyros said:
Between_The_Lines
Master Don Juan
After getting burned a decade and some change ago, I too decided to throw up an iron wall around my heart, but what this lead to was an avoidance to get close enough with any girl I was truly into and many, many flings and short term relationships with "safe bets". Weak, weak, weak. Careful not to tread down this path.In2theGame said:
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Yes, but thats what you get for staking your happiness and well-being in someone or something outside of yourself. First you need to work on being complete within yourself and then you will be mature enough to carry yourself in an LTR and not let the superficial ups and downs of life have such an effect on you.Anargyros said:
The sentiments in this thread are interesting. On the one hand, you do want to be self-sufficient and not rely on the woman for your happiness. When she leaves, your whole life will be in shambles.
But at the same time, if she leaves you and you're just like "eh, whatever", it seems to me as though you had one foot out the door the whole time and were never truly invested in the relationship.
Everything has a risk to it. In the words of Shark, "Life is a risk, Love is a risk." But the greatest gamble is to not gamble at all.
There needs to be a balance though. If a woman you loved leaves you in an LTR, I would think it odd if you were not hurt. Let yourself feel the hurt and the pain, but know when you gotta move on. Ever read the Count of Monte Cristo? Even Edmond Dantes found someone he loved again (just read that book, was so good >_>)
But at the same time, if she leaves you and you're just like "eh, whatever", it seems to me as though you had one foot out the door the whole time and were never truly invested in the relationship.
Everything has a risk to it. In the words of Shark, "Life is a risk, Love is a risk." But the greatest gamble is to not gamble at all.
There needs to be a balance though. If a woman you loved leaves you in an LTR, I would think it odd if you were not hurt. Let yourself feel the hurt and the pain, but know when you gotta move on. Ever read the Count of Monte Cristo? Even Edmond Dantes found someone he loved again (just read that book, was so good >_>)