Is it possible for one event to drastically impact the course of a man's dating/sex life?

[BaronOfHair]

There's a reason for Rollo's "money, muscles, and game" quote.

Yeah, such catch-phrases are more high falutin than:

"If you refuse to put an ounce of time and effort into yourself, be prepared to get written off as the male equivalent of Melissa McCarthy... Folks may enjoy laughing at you, but they'll find you less desirable an anus overloaded with bleeding hemorrhoids. No amount of us groaning over Feminism/Gynocentrism/Hypergamy/Empathy Gaps and the other billion buzzwords we can rattle off on command will ever change that"

 

[BPH]

I got my last instance of free sex (4 years ago) from a woman I met organically in person (Err, semi-organically. She worked in the building where I live. It's unlikely we would have ever crossed paths in the wild). Anyway, she obviously knew my body type right off the bat, yet I still managed to get cooch from her. Since it's become clear I don't want to go to the gym, perhaps a more productive approach is to try to unlock the secret of how I could replicate a scenario like her again. She's proof that I can get free cooch without becoming muscular.

The fact that you got lucky once 4 years ago and are using that as your excuse for not going to the gym, because in your brain it "can happen again" is such a wildly impressive amount of copium...

What if I'm right?

What if, by going to the gym and getting in shape, you just magically had more women interested in you? And for the first time in 4 years, you wouldn't have to pay for sex.

Would that not be worth finding your balls and exercising for 4 hours per week?

Your entire thought process is predicated on "if it happened once, it can happen again". Yeah, maybe, but it's been 4 years, how long do you want to keep waiting?

You and @nelysses are the only forum members who legitimately piss me off because you are so stubborn about what advice you'll take, despite constantly needing it.

You have so many threads that are 5+ pages long, littered with advice, and you're up here talking about downloading an app as if it's progress.

EDIT: My longest dry spell ever...of all time...was 4 months. They were the 4 months after I graduated from high school before I went to college. That was the year I lost my virginity. Since then, I have never paid for sex, and never gone without it longer than those 4 months; whether I had a girlfriend, whether I was in a long-distance relationship, whether I was single, living with my parents, whatever...

Why don't you listen to THAT guy, instead of yourself.

 

[BaronOfHair]

No I haven't.

I don't suppose you're doing push-ups and sit-ups on a regular, preferably daily, basis. As others have been saying, a fella does this for himself first and foremost, not for the ladies. Get those endorphins flowing, you'll be less susceptible to falling into a woe-is-me mindset

 

[GoodMan32]

The fact that you got lucky once 4 years ago and are using that as your excuse for not going to the gym, because in your brain it "can happen again" is such a wildly impressive amount of copium...

What if I'm right?

What if, by going to the gym and getting in shape, you just magically had more women interested in you? And for the first time in 4 years, you wouldn't have to pay for sex.

Would that not be worth finding your balls and exercising for 4 hours per week?

Your entire thought process is predicated on "if it happened once, it can happen again". Yeah, maybe, but it's been 4 years, how long do you want to keep waiting?

You and @nelysses are the only forum members who legitimately piss me off because you are so stubborn about what advice you'll take, despite constantly needing it.

You have so many threads that are 5+ pages long, littered with advice, and you're up here talking about downloading an app as if it's progress.

EDIT: My longest dry spell ever...of all time...was 4 months. They were the 4 months after I graduated from high school before I went to college. That was the year I lost my virginity. Since then, I have never paid for sex, and never gone without it longer than those 4 months; whether I had a girlfriend, whether I was in a long-distance relationship, whether I was single, living with my parents, whatever...

Why don't you listen to THAT guy, instead of yourself.

More recently than 4 years ago, there was my most recent actual date (which I have a thread about) in late summer 2023. I managed to get that date without going to the gym (and I never even had to ask her out to get the date...the date naturally happened as a result of me coming across as a better option than the guy who was having me serve as a wingman in his attempt to get her). And the woman basically admitted to me through a text that I was going to get her cooch on the 2nd date (unfortunately the 2nd date never ended up happening, as I unintentionally drove her away, for reasons that had nothing to do with the gym)

Then a few months ago, I managed to get a mini-date after an organized singles event. Without going to the gym.

Here's the thing about the gym: From 2017 onwards, there have been stretches where I've gone to the gym. I just haven't stuck with a gym regimen. At one point in 2017, I managed to get a 6 pack as a result of going to the gym. Yet the 6 pack did absolutely nothing to get me any success with the opposite sex.

Further back, in high school, one of my gym teachers (as well as a sports team I was on) had us use the weight room. I also went to a private gym for about 1 year of high school. Despite the fact I never got big, I got a decent amount of definition. Yet none of that did anything to rid me of my stigma (of being the guy where girls dreaded finding out I was into her)

As you can see, I have experience with using the gym (and my experience tells me the gym does nothing to help me impress the opposite sex)

I had never heard of the other poster you mentioned. After checking out his profile, he's 21. I suppose he still has plenty of time ahead of him. When I was 21, even though I was no longer a virgin (on my 21st birthday, my body count was 4...all of which were free), I had never even experienced my best partner ever yet (that happened at 23...and she was free)

As for your frustration by the fact I won't take your gym advice, the gym advice isn't even relevant to this thread. This thread is about a potential opportunity I passed up in high school (and asking whether the passing up of one opportunity could permanently alter the course of a dude's dating/sex life)

When it comes to my free sex drought, the fact I rarely ever shoot my shot is (in all likelihood) a much bigger factor than my lack of gym attendance.

One more thing worth mentioning: We're pretty close in age, yet you go for a much different demographic than me. I prefer 45+ year olds; you prefer a woman close in age to you. If you went exclusively for 45+ year olds, it's likely your body count wouldn't be anywhere near the triple digits. From what I recall on your posts, I'm pretty sure you've never been with a woman anywhere close to 45. In which case, you've had zero partners I'd even want at this current stage of life I'm in, yet you're telling me your techniques like they'd work for me.

 

[BPH]

One more thing worth mentioning: We're pretty close in age, yet you go for a much different demographic than me. I prefer 45+ year olds; you prefer a woman close in age to you. If you went exclusively for 45+ year olds, it's likely your body count wouldn't be anywhere near the triple digits. From what I recall on your posts, I'm pretty sure you've never been with a woman anywhere close to 45. In which case, you've had zero partners I'd even want at this current stage of life I'm in, yet you're telling me your techniques like they'd work for me.

The reason you're only going for 45-year-olds is that they're the only women you have any confidence in landing.

You are purposely looking for women who are past their prime because you know that you yourself are not a prime candidate.

There is not a single person on this board who could tell me they prefer the bodies of 45-year-old women over those of 21-year-old women, where I'd believe that they weren't full of sh**.

And you're right, this post isn't about your progress (or lack thereof), but you legitimately believe that not hitting on one girl a long time ago might've been an "event that drastically impacted" your dating life.

You don't know what a drastic event is because to you, EVERY roadblock is insurmountable.

But it's clear you still have zero intentions of listening to the advice of your betters (even if you wouldn't include me in that list), so I'll let others get back to wasting their time on you. I challenge you to commit to going to the gym for 1 hour per day, 3 times per week, for 6 months, and see if that doesn't improve your dating life.

Also, for the record, back in December I mentioned having slept with a woman who was 43 years old - so close enough to your "target audience". She was fun, but do you know what I enjoyed more? The hot 21-year-old I met a month and a half ago.

 

[SW15]

Your entire thought process is predicated on "if it happened once, it can happen again".

He chases outliers.

My longest dry spell ever...of all time...was 4 months. They were the 4 months after I graduated from high school before I went to college. That was the year I lost my virginity. Since then, I have never paid for sex, and never gone without it longer than those 4 months; whether I had a girlfriend, whether I was in a long-distance relationship, whether I was single, living with my parents, whatever...

Why don't you listen to THAT guy, instead of yourself.

That's pretty good. The summer between high school and college can be an odd time for finding new women. It can work for casual sex but long term is going to be off the table in a lot of cases because college is not going to be within driving distance.

There is not a single person on this board who could tell me they prefer the bodies of 45-year-old women over those of 21-year-old women, where I'd believe that they weren't full of sh**.

Also, for the record, back in December I mentioned having slept with a woman who was 43 years old - so close enough to your "target audience". She was fun, but do you know what I enjoyed more? The hot 21-year-old I met a month and a half ago.

Even elite looking 45 year olds don't compare well to average to slightly cute 21 year olds. The experience of a 21 year old woman is superior. There a reason why most men think women around ages 19-23 are peak.

At one point in 2017, I managed to get a 6 pack as a result of going to the gym. Yet the 6 pack did absolutely nothing to get me any success with the opposite sex.

Six pack abs are good but women sexually respond more to a developed upper body (arms, shoulder, chest).

I prefer 45+ year olds;

That's highly abnormal for an early to mid 30s man. Most 30 something men have grown out of their "older woman" phase by then.

I will give a pass to younger men for the occasional effort with an older woman. Between 18-25, having more older partners is actually a bad idea because same aged women are in their prime. 18-25s should be focused on similar aged women but something small or short term with an older woman isn't that bad. They have time.

It's super strange for a 30 something man who is perfectly positioned for 25-30 year old women (slightly post prime but still in a good place) to be seeking 45-60 year old women.

 

[GoodMan32]

The reason you're only going for 45-year-olds is that they're the only women you have any confidence in landing.

You are purposely looking for women who are past their prime because you know that you yourself are not a prime candidate.

There is not a single person on this board who could tell me they prefer the bodies of 45-year-old women over those of 21-year-old women, where I'd believe that they weren't full of sh**.

And you're right, this post isn't about your progress (or lack thereof), but you legitimately believe that not hitting on one girl a long time ago might've been an "event that drastically impacted" your dating life.

You don't know what a drastic event is because to you, EVERY roadblock is insurmountable.

But it's clear you still have zero intentions of listening to the advice of your betters (even if you wouldn't include me in that list), so I'll let others get back to wasting their time on you. I challenge you to commit to going to the gym for 1 hour per day, 3 times per week, for 6 months, and see if that doesn't improve your dating life.

Also, for the record, back in December I mentioned having slept with a woman who was 43 years old - so close enough to your "target audience". She was fun, but do you know what I enjoyed more? The hot 21-year-old I met a month and a half ago.

Umm, I prefer 45+ because of my pregnancy phobia. Nothing to do with my confidence level in being able to get a woman my age/younger.

In fact, it's been said many times on this forum that I'd have an easier time getting a woman my age/slightly younger than getting a 45+ year old woman. Many a 45+ year old would automatically write off any man my age (for being "too young"). I put "too young" in quotes because the idea that a dude who's been able to buy alcohol for more than a decade is somehow "too young" is preposterous.

I understand that your logic (and the logic of many men) is that a 45+ year old woman won't be as picky because she's past her prime. I myself used to be guilty of holding that logic. That's not how a woman thinks though. Even a post-prime woman is often pretty picky.

My counselor, by the way, said there's nothing wrong with my age preference. She even went as far as saying men who want a perfect body on a woman have probably been psychologically damaged by watching too much porn (and she said there would be something wrong with a middle-aged man wanting a woman below 25)

With the sheer amount of partners you've had, I missed your post about getting with a 43 year old (but I'm intrigued to hear)

When I was 21, I ended up naked in bed with a 21 year old after a 1st date. I chickened out of sex because of my pregnancy phobia.

He chases outliers.



That's pretty good. The summer between high school and college can be an odd time for finding new women. It can work for casual sex but long term is going to be off the table in a lot of cases because college is not going to be within driving distance.



Even elite looking 45 year olds don't compare well to average to slightly cute 21 year olds. The experience of a 21 year old woman is superior. There a reason why most men think women around ages 19-23 are peak.



Six pack abs are good but women sexually respond more to a developed upper body (arms, shoulder, chest).



That's highly abnormal for an early to mid 30s man. Most 30 something men have grown out of their "older woman" phase by then.

I will give a pass to younger men for the occasional effort with an older woman. Between 18-25, having more older partners is actually a bad idea because same aged women are in their prime. 18-25s should be focused on similar aged women but something small or short term with an older woman isn't that bad. They have time.

It's super strange for a 30 something man who is perfectly positioned for 25-30 year old women (slightly post prime but still in a good place) to be seeking 45-60 year old women.

I am an outlier. Perhaps that's why I seem to attract outliers.

You know what I'd call strange? A 41 or 42 year old man (based on the 1983 birth year you've mentioned on posts) describing a 25-30 year old woman as "slightly past prime"

A 25 year old could be your daughter. Not gonna lie, sometimes you come across as this older dude who struggles to come to terms with the fact he isn't 22 anymore.

 

[BaronOfHair]

My counselor, by the way, said there's nothing wrong with my age preference. She...

I'm betting she lists her preferred pronouns in her advertising as well

 

[BPH]

I am an outlier. Perhaps that's why I seem to attract outliers.

You don't attract ANYONE, evidently. Yet somehow, you have the nerve to refuse every piece of advice we give you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

He chases outliers.

He's not uncommon... The occasional Chalamet, DiCaprio, or even early(pre-chin implant)Depp and Cruise inevitably trigger resurgences in androgyny. Entirely TOO many fellas conclude they too can do pull that sh-t off, same way 90s Kate Moss and Jamie King scammed lots of women into believing they could rock heroin chic, yet still make men go gaga over them

 

[SW15]

My counselor, by the way, said there's nothing wrong with my age preference. She even went as far as saying men who want a perfect body on a woman have probably been psychologically damaged by watching too much porn (and she said there would be something wrong with a middle-aged man wanting a woman below 25)

I'm betting she lists her preferred pronouns in her advertising as well

She failed as a psychotherapist there. She didn't seem to consider the potential for a Oedipal complex there. It's possible that there are mommy issues that she may or may not be examining.

She also used the most extreme example about men.

I perceive feminism in her response and could imagine her using her pronouns.

You know what I'd call strange? A 41 or 42 year old man (based on the 1983 birth year you've mentioned on posts) describing a 25-30 year old woman as "slightly past prime"

A 25 year old could be your daughter. Not gonna lie, sometimes you come across as this older dude who struggles to come to terms with the fact he isn't 22 anymore.

A woman's physical prime is roughly 18-24. There are data points out there showing that men ages 18-50 all think that women 18-24 are the most physically appealing. Rollo Tomassi (who is much older than I am) has said this as well. Women look their best right around age 20. I didn't make the rules of what a female prime is.

The mainstream media has been force feeding the narrative that women are sexy at advanced ages. It's not like that. While a 40 year old woman can be physically attractive, a 20 year old is going to be more physically attractive.

Most men in their 30s/40s want to date younger women and even substantially younger women.

While most men in 30s/40s want to date younger women (because they are old enough to be older than many women), most 30s/40s men end up dating someone around 1-4 years younger. Their stated preference is someone in their 20s but reality doesn't always match a stated preference.

Some of the women that you sexually fantasize about and pursue could be your mother.

I don't look at women born in the early 2000s (2000-2004) as potential daughters for me. If I were able to attract and seduce one, it would be a good seduction and a fun time for me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

She also used the most extreme example about men.

I perceive feminism in her response and could imagine her using her pronouns.

Psychotherapy and even physical medicine being contaminated by what we today call Wokeness has long been documented https://books.google.com/books/about/P_C_M_D.html?id=Okk4DgAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description Note the date that book was published. Ironically enough, Critical Theory/Intersectionality draws heavily upon Freud, the very man who derailed the field of psychology


"There are data points out there showing that men ages 18-50 all think that women 18-24 are the most physically appealing. Rollo Tomassi (who is much older than I am) has said this as well. Women look their best right around age 20. I didn't make the rules of what a female prime is"

Let's get even more specific: Late teens-around 25, perhaps even 30 are the years in which a gal's physical signs of fertility and innocence are at their most pronounced. While lots of women remain beautiful past that point, those same markers just ain't as strong afterwards. Beyond his prospects for bagging older cooter being poorer than a slum dweller in Mogadishu, OP is going to face heavy social repercussions if he continues on with this obsession*. It wouldn't be surprising to learn that, as a species, we're biologically hardwired to react with revulsion to pairings where the prospects of either producing offspring or having done so already are near 0



*Case in point: Aaron and Sam Taylor Johnson... Even after producing offspring, they've remained the object of public scorn, with both of them saw their careers diminished on account of the backlash generated by their union. Similar is true of Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles

By contrast, Lizzy Winstead, Alexandra Daddario, Kat McPhee, Alona Tal, and many more high-profile women are having kids with men much older than themselves. And no one has reacted to this with more than a giggle, followed by well-wishes. Hell, when Charles Dance fathered a child in his late 60s not long ago, even the otherwise Woke mainstream media expressed admiration for his virility

 

[SW15]

Psychotherapy and even physical medicine being contaminated by what we today call Wokeness has long been documented https://books.google.com/books/about/P_C_M_D.html?id=Okk4DgAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description Note the date that book was published. Ironically enough, Critical Theory/Intersectionality draws heavily upon Freud, the very man who derailed the field of psychology

Psychology is limited on what it can do to help males in seduction.

Many psychotherapists are careerist women and beta males.

Myron Gaines and Rollo Tomassi had a good conversation about this last year.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Psychology is limited on what it can do to help males in seduction.

Many psychotherapists are careerist women and beta males.

Myron Gaines and Rollo Tomassi had a good conversation about this last year.

I just revised the post you're replying to. Read on

 

[BaronOfHair]

Psychology is limited on what it can do to help males in seduction

.Actually, Albert Ellis(the first person in human history to call himself a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist)also laid the groundwork for what would eventually come to be termed up Pick Up
https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Art_of_Erotic_Seduction.html?id=nQsWPwAACAAJ Note the date that was published

Otherwise, yeah... Psychotherapy's primary function is to relieve emotional pain, which is obviously a very different goal than finding a mate or addressing difficulties with sociability. In that sense, Dating/Men's coaches are similar to Executive and Life Coaches

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201402/life-coaches-and-mental-illness And they have all the same pluses and pitfalls