"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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is it ok to chat online to girls you've met already (for a bit)

HappyHarryHardon

Don Juan
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like this girl ive been seeing shes always on messenger. im not. sometimes she calls me asking why im not online. is it okay to go on for like 5/10 minutes to chat? sometimes i go on and chat to her for 10 minutes or so. that cant be harmful can it? all in moderation right?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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mahoney

Senior Don Juan
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May 7, 2011
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its totally fine to do this - as you say, in moderation

if she always asks you to go on messenger - then go on messenger! but only SOME of the times she asks. if you are actually busy, or you don't feel like it at that minute then don't go on it, or if you're feeling like you don't have anything interesting to say that day, then don't go on. just go on some of the time - and when you go on make sure any chat you have is interesting, and the minute it feels like a conversation has reached its natural end, then say i have to go now. don't worry too much if she leaves before you do, just make sure that all the conversation is fun and positive, and the minute you think its kind of going to run out of steam that day, then draw it to a close and let her know you have to go - all conversations have natural conclusions and finishing points, too many dudes want to drag it on past that point, and thats where it goes wrong for them
 

Deadly_Ripped

Master Don Juan
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I just wonder how many of these accounts are the same person. Then again, I like to believe that no one person has that much free time to harass a board.

Maybe this is just the state of the union. Our math, science, and sex education is falling behind or non-existent for most students. Sure, we're way better off than a 3rd world country, but you wouldn't know it in the suburban wasteland of Chicago's South Side or the ghettos of LA. No, we're producing unskilled laborers who can't even balance their own checkbooks, and telling them that they need a college degree to sell insurance for a living.
 

PDubb75

Master Don Juan
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Deadly_Ripped said:
I just wonder how many of these accounts are the same person. Then again, I like to believe that no one person has that much free time to harass a board.

Maybe this is just the state of the union. Our math, science, and sex education is falling behind or non-existent for most students. Sure, we're way better off than a 3rd world country, but you wouldn't know it in the suburban wasteland of Chicago's South Side or the ghettos of LA. No, we're producing unskilled laborers who can't even balance their own checkbooks, and telling them that they need a college degree to sell insurance for a living.
While I completely agree with your point, I just find it funny how a question about talking to a girl on IM brought up a comment on the ghettos in America. I'm all for the randomness though...

To the OP, I personally don't think talking on IM is as horrible as people make it out to be. BUT, that's only if you 1) don't do it too much, 2) have solid game so that you don't mess up any attraction there may have been beforehand, and 3) control the convo, including when it ends.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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