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Is it normal not to want girls that like you

Dam44

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I have noticed a funny pattern lol. I don't usually like the girls that really like me.(They are not bad but I just feel I can do better)
I'll rather go for the ones I think are more attractive and doesn't usually work out.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it's really funny to me.
Anyone experienced something like this
 

Robert28

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If every woman that likes you is a land whale and you are normal weight, then it would be normal.
I’m encountering this very problem. When she was in her prime they wanted nothing to do with me, even if it was in their 30’s and they still had a little bit of prime left and approaching the wall they’d still think they were too good for me. They wait until they’ve absolutely ran through the thing and come out the other side before they come after me. Kinda hurts my self esteem to be honest. The worst part is they act like they wanted me the whole time but I have a memory like an elephant. I remember all the times back in the day they claimed “not looking for a relationship right now” but suddenly they are lol
 

3agle 3yes

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This is normal. Average to okay looking women typically feel that they have to be a little bit more forward to get into a relationship with a man they like.

The more attractive a woman is, the more options she has, and therefore she doesn’t need to be forward with you, even if she likes you.

This isn’t always the case of course, but it’s usually there at some level.

Though I would say women in general are passive, and their approach to mating (can’t think of a better word) is to get men to notice them.

For me personally, when a highly attractive woman finds me physically attractive, the most she’ll do is position herself in my eye-line, if she’s sitting down maybe she’ll find an excuse to get up (she off her legs, or ass etc). This is usually enough to get men to notice her.

Whereas women who aren’t as attractive (still okay though), will probably go further if they find me physically attractive, like start an “innocent” conversation. it’s their way of saying I’m here and I like you, notice me. because putting herself in a man’s eye-line so he can see her isn’t always enough.
 

Bokanovsky

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I have noticed a funny pattern lol. I don't usually like the girls that really like me.(They are not bad but I just feel I can do better)
I'll rather go for the ones I think are more attractive and doesn't usually work out.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it's really funny to me.
Anyone experienced something like this
It seems that you mostly attract ugly chicks and struggle to get girls that you find attractive. I don’t see anything humorous in this situation.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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When you examine relationships and interactions, typically there is an individual in these situations on either side that has an air of complacency or settling and often it is the other individual who ends up paying for that person's complacency, as if we should understand that they made a mistake and the complacent seem to have this expectation that they should enjoy a sense of freedom from commitment.

This freedom from commitment is something that is cultivated in the higher echelons of society because obviously this is where the people are who can afford to take a loss or value their peace of mind over said loss, thus this indifference it seems is becoming a valued trait among men with a perceived high status.

However, I have also observed that there is a very tangible sense of competition in the wealthy, as if losing some how lowers their own value, being highly competitive is also a desirable trait in men.

What we are left with is the modern woman walking the line between indifference and competition, she'll test your authenticity by presenting a situation where she feels a guy might feel indifferent, then a situation where a guy might feel competitive, if the indifference extends into competitive territory, seems complacent, but if the competitiveness extends into indifference territory, seems insecure.

As we all know, women are great at testing for authenticity, a great example, one night im at the club, my buddy tells this chick about me, oh this guy has his **** together, I pull up in a tie, freshly shaved, however I have always struggled to shave my neck hair, usually around the Adams apple area, very sensitive, causes cuts whenever I go there to this day, so this woman simply walks up to me without missing a beat, feels my freshly shaven cheeks with her hands, then runs her hand down to my neck and feels the stubble, dismisses me immediately, like man I couldn't believe she did that, almost on reaction like she wasnt even aware what she was doing.

It's a deep conversation, because when you start testing women in this way, most of them fail, in fact all of them do, they just cannot stand up to the level of scrutiny they often impose and this is the plight of the modern woman, the guys she makes exceptions for typically want nothing to do with her, the guys she's unwilling to make exceptions for will tolerate her.

You have tripped over this structure in your post, it's the symptom of being perceived as high value but often this value is an illusion that we want to keep up about ourselves, so the second we are saw as high value, we want to withdraw which just sends the woman into a frenzy and suddenly you two together is about her ego, not functionality, then she tries even harder to dispel your... Magic over her.

The tragedy in this, is that either way as men today, our value eventually comes into question and if you leave a woman the second your value comes into question you'll forever be alone... We have to provide real things that can be felt and poked, not illusions that crumble when touched, much like the shaving story I shared.

So how this relates to your post because I know we have some shallow members here who won't see how this connects, is that we are both doing this dance, men and women, it's rare when two people come together who are willing to excuse eachothers nonsense.
 
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dude99

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I’m encountering this very problem. When she was in her prime they wanted nothing to do with me, even if it was in their 30’s and they still had a little bit of prime left and approaching the wall they’d still think they were too good for me. They wait until they’ve absolutely ran through the thing and come out the other side before they come after me. Kinda hurts my self esteem to be honest. The worst part is they act like they wanted me the whole time but I have a memory like an elephant. I remember all the times back in the day they claimed “not looking for a relationship right now” but suddenly they are lol
I hear you. I've had about 5 chicks from my highschool and post secondary years who wanted nothing to do with me dating wise when i was young but after they were divorced, packed on 50 plus lbs, 3 screaming kids later and their phone stopped ringing, suddenly they remember ol me who wasn't good enough for them back then.

The last one who did this, hits me with a Facebook message. Friend request and a long message. She had to have put on 70lbs her profile said she was the best mother ever, i didn't dig any deeper to find out how many kids. I didn't care, she looked unhealthy and like she was put through a war, and was now suddenly fawning all over me how attractive i am, how she missed me so much and telling me how she wished we dated back in HS, how she always liked me and wished we started something (i recall her laughing in my face and saying fack no, when i was 16 and asked her out,) but she gushed about how she remembered and thought of me (while married to her alcoholic husband) and now that she is divorced she is soooooo excited she finally found me after all those years.

Needless to say i didn't meet her enthusiasm about getting together. I let her down and let her down easy, after all her gushing and Buull**** she was spewing, i let it pend for 3 days and replied with:

"Um this is awkward. Sorry where do you know me from?"

I know it was a a hole thing to do, but i think the entitlement is even worse
 

Robert28

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I hear you. I've had about 5 chicks from my highschool and post secondary years who wanted nothing to do with me dating wise when i was young but after they were divorced, packed on 50 plus lbs, 3 screaming kids later and their phone stopped ringing, suddenly they remember ol me who wasn't good enough for them back then.

The last one who did this, hits me with a Facebook message. Friend request and a long message. She had to have put on 70lbs her profile said she was the best mother ever, i didn't dig any deeper to find out how many kids. I didn't care, she looked unhealthy and like she was put through a war, and was now suddenly fawning all over me how attractive i am, how she missed me so much and telling me how she wished we dated back in HS, how she always liked me and wished we started something (i recall her laughing in my face and saying fack no, when i was 16 and asked her out,) but she gushed about how she remembered and thought of me (while married to her alcoholic husband) and now that she is divorced she is soooooo excited she finally found me after all those years.

Needless to say i didn't meet her enthusiasm about getting together. I let her down and let her down easy, after all her gushing and Buull**** she was spewing, i let it pend for 3 days and replied with:

"Um this is awkward. Sorry where do you know me from?"

I know it was a a hole thing to do, but i think the entitlement is even worse
I’m finding it’s not always the highschool girls. Like there was this woman I went out with 3-4 years ago who just gotten out of a divorce. She was 39 I think at the time, I was younger than her by 5-6 years. We went on a date and she just wasn’t into it, she never really looked at me and the whole thing was just awkward. She was still kinda hot though and you could tell she couldn’t wait to get back on the carousel for a few years. Well those few years were not kind to her. She’s a balloon now, a fvcking tellatubby! Lost her figure completely. She recently hit me up trying to make it like I was the quiet one on our date and wasn’t interested and ghosted her and she was always interested. Complete spin job. I was like “get the fvck outta here with your spin story dumbass”. I mean for God sakes I had a girl in her mid 30’s Friendzone the fvck outta me and yeah she’s still got a few years left with her looks but they’re rapidly depreciating fast. I expect her to hit me up within the next year or two “aww I didn’t mean the friendzone like that! I was always into you! What happened to you? Well let’s pickup where we left off now”. I can hear it.
 

powersize

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This kind of stories motivate me to level up with double efforts, so these b1tches who thought I am not good enough will regret of their missed chance.

I do have a story thought to share. I was 19 yo just right in collage - no money, still half a kid inside. She was 21, you know girls in this age - party, wanna fancy stuff, adult experience. So I was casing her and she was playing with me. Than I moved on, in 3 years I graduated from uni, moved to capital, find my first office work, and guess who texted me. It was complete 180 flip. She was chasing, acting like you know, she was waiting all these years to see the final product - me. So we fuked a couple of times, but I was not really interested in her any more. So I told her it does not work out with me. So I disappeared again - in couple of months I moved to a different country, better job and stuff like that. No communication with her again. And after a year or so - guess who texted me. She was even crazy enough to flight over to my county to visit me.

Forget about this flakes, those chicks who think they are the big deal. Click is ticking fellas, level up is the ultimate thing.
 

firstbornunicorn

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Have you read about attachment theory? Could be the case. Are you attracted to them until they show attraction or just never attracted?
 

cstoffel

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I have noticed a funny pattern lol. I don't usually like the girls that really like me.(They are not bad but I just feel I can do better)
I'll rather go for the ones I think are more attractive and doesn't usually work out.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it's really funny to me.
Anyone experienced something like this
I one hundred percent feel that. There was a girl that liked me for three years of my highschool career. I remember the first day of class, freshman year staring at her because she had freckles, a fat ass, and looked like a nasty person (the kind that eats gum off the street ) I hella judged her. But one day while leaving the gym, she followed me outside to ask me for my number. I reluctantly gave her it and continued on with my day. She texted me a couple of times, but I didn't think anything of it. Later I remember her pouring her heart out in a long ass, two paragraph message about how much she liked me. I was utterly disgusted. I've had one other senior year. It was the same thing. Except she got my Snapchat from a friend and tried to get me to see her "bruise" she got at the pool she worked at. I was disgusted. Looking back; she had big ole biddies, a diaper-booty, but still not bad looking. This is normal, I find. You're good, man. Everything checks out
 

dude99

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I’m finding it’s not always the highschool girls. Like there was this woman I went out with 3-4 years ago who just gotten out of a divorce. She was 39 I think at the time, I was younger than her by 5-6 years. We went on a date and she just wasn’t into it, she never really looked at me and the whole thing was just awkward. She was still kinda hot though and you could tell she couldn’t wait to get back on the carousel for a few years. Well those few years were not kind to her. She’s a balloon now, a fvcking tellatubby! Lost her figure completely. She recently hit me up trying to make it like I was the quiet one on our date and wasn’t interested and ghosted her and she was always interested. Complete spin job. I was like “get the fvck outta here with your spin story dumbass”. I mean for God sakes I had a girl in her mid 30’s Friendzone the fvck outta me and yeah she’s still got a few years left with her looks but they’re rapidly depreciating fast. I expect her to hit me up within the next year or two “aww I didn’t mean the friendzone like that! I was always into you! What happened to you? Well let’s pickup where we left off now”. I can hear it.
It is humorous how they never acccept responsibility. They always pretend it was you that rejected/ghosted them.

They know they are lying too. Women can't handle rejection and if you actually had been the one who rejected her she would not have had the nerve to reach out after all those years
 

mjb3617

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It is humorous how they never acccept responsibility. They always pretend it was you that rejected/ghosted them.

They know they are lying too. Women can't handle rejection and if you actually had been the one who rejected her she would not have had the nerve to reach out after all those years
Truth. Experienced this first hand. Called out my ex on her BS and told her to go back to her ex or find another guy to latch onto. Highly doubt I'll ever hear from her again but no loss for me. She was damaged goods to begin with
 

Kotaix

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I have a few women that are like this. Assuming that they've been raised to not be a parasite, and that they're attractive to you, these women make very good girlfriends. You will always have the position of power in this kind of relationship, because women submit to men that they want.

This is kind of the perfect example of the IDGAF attitude at work. You're not subconsciously looking for validation with them because you have no interest in pleasing them, so you're attractive to them. You are their alpha.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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I’m encountering this very problem. When she was in her prime they wanted nothing to do with me, even if it was in their 30’s and they still had a little bit of prime left and approaching the wall they’d still think they were too good for me. They wait until they’ve absolutely ran through the thing and come out the other side before they come after me. Kinda hurts my self esteem to be honest. The worst part is they act like they wanted me the whole time but I have a memory like an elephant. I remember all the times back in the day they claimed “not looking for a relationship right now” but suddenly they are lol
So she has been ran thru and then ran thru again, burned out on the whole thing and ran thru yet again trying to relive glory days, and when there's not much left she remembers that you liked her?
 

mrgoodstuff

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I have noticed a funny pattern lol. I don't usually like the girls that really like me.(They are not bad but I just feel I can do better)
I'll rather go for the ones I think are more attractive and doesn't usually work out.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it's really funny to me.
Anyone experienced something like this
Alot of women experience that same dynamic. When someone really "likes" you they kinda "submit" to their attraction for you, and in your eyes it seems easier attainable so it's not as attractive.

What's funny is one day the ones you thought was so attractive you might start to put in a bucket of "she thinks her sh1t doesn't stink, but it DOES", and stop being attracted to them.
 

Robert28

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So she has been ran thru and then ran thru again, burned out on the whole thing and ran thru yet again trying to relive glory days, and when there's not much left she remembers that you liked her?
Yep. I’ve had countless women suddenly like me when there was absolutely nothing left. Like they weren’t approaching the wall, they hit the fvcking thing at 100mph. When they had an ounce of attractiveness left they still thought they could do better than me. But now that they have ZERO attractiveness left, they’re coming around now “I always liked you ya know”.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yep. I’ve had countless women suddenly like me when there was absolutely nothing left. Like they weren’t approaching the wall, they hit the fvcking thing at 100mph. When they had an ounce of attractiveness left they still thought they could do better than me. But now that they have ZERO attractiveness left, they’re coming around now “I always liked you ya know”.
Alot end up bitter and "ugly"...
 

Glassguy

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I have noticed a funny pattern lol. I don't usually like the girls that really like me.(They are not bad but I just feel I can do better)
I'll rather go for the ones I think are more attractive and doesn't usually work out.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it's really funny to me.
Anyone experienced something like this
It means that you have high standards and are looking for something specific. Kudos. Most people dont even know what they want to begin with......

You dont like the ones that are into you because:
*They arent a challenge
*They over pursue you
*They are not able to offer you what you want/need from a chick right now
No problem, keep them around for sex. String them along until you do find what youre looking for and then let them go be in your orbit while you try the new one on for size and see how it fits.

On the flip side, we need to analyze how we treat these chicks that emphatically "like us", especially early on:
*IDGAF attitude
*We rarely initiate any communication via text or calls
*We take our sweet @ss time responding back to them when they reach out
*Through sub communication they understand that we can walk away at a moments notice, with or without warning.

And that makes us VALUABLE in their eyes.

Thus when you really like one, pull back on the reigns and dont treat them so great (Very few compliments, take time responding back, make them reach out, give them space and time of not hearing from you and let their minds wonder, etc). Dont be so available. Use what is working on the ones you "dont like" and you will see the ones you "like" start eating right out of your hands.

I struggle with this too sometimes because chicks I "like" arent waiting behind every door.
 
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