"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Is it just me or can you guys not stand talking to women for over 15 minutes?
- Thread starter verysuave
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
xectxny19x
Don Juan
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Miguel
Don Juan
For example, always try to talk in statements FOLLOWED by questions. Heck even just statements are okay. [Such as " I love this band".] It shows comfort and actually goes to show that you're intrested in the other person... and you don't get the werid interogation feeling. Secondly, make sure that when you ask a question, it's open ended. Finally, ask and clerify. Restate what they said, ask them to eleborate on things, go into the detials... thats where conversations come from.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
verysuave said:
It is you. I had women that I've been able to talk to for hours and not get bored. I've also come across women that it's such a strain to hold a conversation. Those women are normally hit and runs for me. I'd rather have the the woman I can have more interesting interaction with than just sex, which after a while gets boring.
I am very good when it comes to talking to people. Like, the subject will always be about YOU and not sound like a freakin interview.Miguel said:
Why would you want to talk to women for +15 minutes? It's just weird, my primal instincts kick in. As my primal instincts says - the more conversation, the higher the chances they'll turn the table around against you. 99% of this only applies to WOMEN i want to bang I suppose..
I feel like the more I talk to women, the more we just become the "FRIENDS" type
You don't need women friends to have INTERESTING convos with, you can do that with guy friends.. that is if you have any guy friends if YOU KNOW what i mean.
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
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Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You CAN'T have intellectual conversations with women, they will get BORED. maybe a .01 % of them and normally, those are the homely ones.Paintballguy said:
The only guys women talk to for HOURS and HOURS are their gay friends who they will not have sex with.
Yeah, can you seriouisly imagine a bad boy talk to a chick for hours and hours and hours just to try and get laid.
Cuz, I would get bored too if all she did was blab.
bigjohnson
Master Don Juan
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I find talking to many girls can be interesting if they are interesting. My own issue as a younger man used to be that when I was talking with a girl I found attractive I couldn't get my mind off what you could call the goal zone. Always trying to work an angle, always alert and on edge. It's exhausting.
If you just relax and TALK to her you will find some have interests and views that are legitimately worth the time, just like people in general. Maybe socializing in mixed groups will help you.
Don't look for others to have a nice conversation.
Like whatever a person does, he can tell something about their personality and it's so interresting! Then he steps in the convo and just says: Wait wait, I just realised something about you! You're so____ or you have this thing, etc. etc. The guy is the best conversationalist I know. I never get bored with him, this guy can talk about his desodorant for 10 whole minutes and people just don't get bored. (Well our group does, because we know him and all, but other people find it interesting). Proof that how you say it matters. People are always eager to hear him speak. (Combined with a great voice).
So thanks to that, I'm always looking for (positive) things about people's personalities.... Then people do that to me, and it makes the whole thing so interresting!
Back to subject, I don't get bored talking to girls I am really interrested to. Sometimes I think I'm interrested, but they're boring, but if I really really like a girl, I could enjoy a conversation for a long time, especially in the early stages.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
He was saying how Dane Cook can talk about nothing for 10 minutes yet still be funny somehow.Groovy said:
I did not get it.
If you're making fun of me
If not explain
If you're like me, then you need to find activities to do with other people. You need to find fun activities that require coordination, such as rock climbing, paintball, or even cooperative video games. Or you can do what most successful adults do: hit the bars and clubs, or become a networking-event junkie.
Conversation is great and all, but you don't need a whole lot of conversation to make a dynamic work.
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
I definitely agree. hahDemon said:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.