You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I agree with this 100%mr_elor
If you've got your **** together in general then you won't be clingy; so call or text whenever you have the time.
Funny how you say you were realy interested,.. then you say you saw that he was clearly interested too but you nevEr called him back.. cause he didnt leave a message...LOL OR WHAS IT CAUSE YOU HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS THAT YOU DONT NEED TO GIVE A DAMN EVEN ABOUT THE GUYS YOU ARE "REALLY INTERESTED IN"SunnyD said:Three days is good. I don't bother answering if he waits longer than a week. if you're interested...call.
I met a guy at a bar who I was really intersted in, gave him my number. He waited the full week to call, which was not horrible but I missed his call. He didn't leave a msg. I was out of town so I saw that he called every hour all night long, and never left a msg. So I never called him back.
For the love of God, leave a msg.
It's with anyone...if you don't leave a msg, you never called. When I saw he called EVERY HOUR from 6pm to 2am without leaving me a voicemail..I thought that was a bit psychotic. I lost interest.DonGorgon said:Funny how you say you were realy interested,.. then you say you saw that he was clearly interested too but you nevEr called him back.. cause he didnt leave a message...LOL OR WHAS IT CAUSE YOU HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS THAT YOU DONT NEED TO GIVE A DAMN EVEN ABOUT THE GUYS YOU ARE "REALLY INTERESTED IN"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If a girl I was "realy interested in called my 6 times I wouls assume she really liked me adn wanted to tell me someting impiortant...LOL but that is cause I am a man and know how hard we have to work to find and get and keep a woman we really like.SunnyD said:It's with anyone...if you don't leave a msg, you never called. When I saw he called EVERY HOUR from 6pm to 2am without leaving me a voicemail..I thought that was a bit psychotic. I lost interest.
I guess so. How hard is it to leave a msg though saying "hey its Bill, met you last week at the bar, give me a shout back.." I don't know why he was calling, especially at 2am, then the next weekend at 3am. I got the impression he was after one thing so I didn't bother. He could have texted me too tosay hi, nice meeting you. Never did..just called called called and kept hanging up on my machine.DonGorgon said:If a girl I was "realy interested in called my 6 times I wouls assume she really liked me adn wanted to tell me someting impiortant...LOL but that is cause I am a man and know how hard we have to work to find and get and keep a woman we really like.
Its amazing how quickly you women loose interest over the smallest thing it is frustrating.. its like cause you are constantly being offered attention you dont value it as much and that is one of the biggest problems with male female relationships in 08...
I disagree. Men are looking to women for their manhood, and women are turned off by it. Guys just try too hard. A man shouldn't go to a woman for his strength, but offer her his strength. There are men out there that women will wait by the phone for while never answering to phone for another guy.DonGorgon said:If a girl I was "realy interested in called my 6 times I wouls assume she really liked me adn wanted to tell me someting impiortant...LOL but that is cause I am a man and know how hard we have to work to find and get and keep a woman we really like.
Its amazing how quickly you women loose interest over the smallest thing it is frustrating.. its like cause you are constantly being offered attention you dont value it as much and that is one of the biggest problems with male female relationships in 08...
tick37 said:I disagree. Men are looking to women for their manhood, and women are turned off by it. Guys just try too hard. A man shouldn't go to a woman for his strength, but offer her his strength. There are men out there that women will wait by the phone for while never answering to phone for another guy.
Eve was the one tempted by Satan to eat the apple. It was the idiot, Adam, that wasn't tempted, but felt something strange about not doing what Eve was doing. It's really time to reverse Adam's choice and stop making women God!
Yeh I hear you but message leaving is not considered to be cool.SunnyD said:I guess so. How hard is it to leave a msg though saying "hey its Bill, met you last week at the bar, give me a shout back.." I don't know why he was calling, especially at 2am, then the next weekend at 3am. I got the impression he was after one thing so I didn't bother. He could have texted me too tosay hi, nice meeting you. Never did..just called called called and kept hanging up on my machine.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I agree.DonGorgon said:Yeh I hear you but message leaving is not considered to be cool.
Yeh being unavailable is very important be unavailable even if you have to fake it..DJDamage said:I agree.
You end up leaving the ball in her court and women do not like to take the initative to call someone up. Its your job because you got the number. Also if you call and leave a message you could fvck it up (especially when you don't have confidence):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk
Call a woman up whenever you have the time to. If you have too much time on your hands then there is a reason for that and it is often the same reason why men put women on the pedestal and sound desperate and supplicating.
Usually these days every woman you meet will have a cellphone and they will carry it wherever they go. If they are not answering the phone when you call, try at least 2 more time ( in different days or times) and forget about her. She is either too busy for you or screening the call which means she is not interested.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
:yes: I completely agree.mr_elor said:...The 3 day rule was invented to mask the fact that the guy is a *****, to make up for his 'AFC' ways. If you've got your **** together in general then you won't be clingy; so call or text whenever you have the time.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.