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Is Insta necessary?

lubstur

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Issue: Is instagram necessary to socialize nowadays with younger peers?

Today at the gym I met another dude with a sweat shirt of the same school that I go to. I was interested in making friends outside of school so we talked.

Interaction started really well, almost homie high fiving, he asked what I was studying, why I moved here from LA, what I like to do in my free time, who I hang out with.

After I told him I lived nearby I think I ****ed up, his interest and focus started going more towards career/job related stuff:

What sort of law are you interested,
What kind of work did I do back in my city,
What's your age??? Moment I said 32 his eyes popped and he said he was 22. It's kind of pathetic but I felt "too old."

Thinking now at this point I could tell he lost some interest.

Finally he said we should keep in touch, I said sure, he asked if I had an insta, I told him no. I babbled on that I was a boomer and I don't use social media but I could give him my number. He racked his weights and peace'd out "Take care".

This has happened before at the beginning my first semester. I've had about 3 interactions where they asked for my insta, everytime it's like "Poof," I become invisible on their radar.

Good chance in this interaction I had already lost him long before he asked for my insta and that was prob the determiner but anyone else socializing with younger peers without social media?

TLDR: People who ask insta > No > Lose all interest
 
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Bingo-Player

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Issue: Is instagram necessary to socialize nowadays with younger peers?

Today at the gym I met another dude with a sweat shirt of the same school that I go to. I was interested in making friends outside of school so we talked.

Interaction started really well, almost homie high fiving, he asked what I was studying, why I moved here from LA, what I like to do in my free time, who I hang out with.

After I told him I lived nearby I think I ****ed up, his interest and focus started going more towards career/job related stuff:

What sort of law are you interested,
What kind of work did I do back in my city,
What's your age??? Moment I said 32 his eyes popped and he said he was 22. It's kind of pathetic but I felt "too old."

Thinking now at this point I could tell he lost some interest.

Finally he said we should keep in touch, I said sure, he asked if I had an insta, I told him no. I babbled on that I was a boomer and I don't use social media but I could give him my number. He racked his weights and peace'd out "Take care".

TLDR: People who ask insta > No > Lose all interest
couple of things

1) your the same age as me your not a boomer your a millennial

2) your overthinking this way way too much this guy is 22 he is probably thinking its pretty cool a 32 yr old wants to chat

3) mentoring younger guys can be very rewarding it shouldn't be seen as " wierd "

4) Most younger generations have grown up with social media they literally do not know how to communicate without it so yes if you are intending on hanging out with younger people you are going to need it
 

SW15

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TLDR: People who ask insta > No > Lose all interest
A man doesn't need a major presence on Instagram now to have a social life or to date women.

I have a presence on Instagram but I have a lower Follower count and I am Following more accounts than I have Followers. My Followers-Following ratio is so bad that I don't DM for dates/sex.

Most women I date don't ask for my Instagram. The majority of male friends are not Instagram friends either. More of my male friends are Facebook friends and became Facebook friends many years ago.

The social media platform where I have the most Connections/most Followers is LinkedIn, which I use for career management purposes. Employers in the white collar space often judge people in terms of their LinkedIn profiles too.

In general, having a minimal presence on social media is going to look better than having no presence at all. Instagram is still considered the leading personal time social network, particularly for those 40 and under. Facebook tends to be the leader in the 50+ category. Facebook originated in the 2000s as a younger person social network but the younger people have scaled back their presences on Facebook in the last 10-12 years.

he asked if I had an insta, I told him no. I babbled on that I was a boomer and I don't use social media but I could give him my number. He racked his weights and peace'd out "Take care".

This has happened before at the beginning my first semester. I've had about 3 interactions where they asked for my insta, everytime it's like "Poof," I become invisible on their radar.
I don't know why you would babble on that you're a Boomer. You're nothing near a Boomer. You're a younger Millennial. The youngest Boomers turn 60 in 2024 and a more typical Boomer is 65-77. Self-deprecating humor is not your friend.

You calling yourself a Boomer there probably caused the possible male friend to lose interest.

Having no presence on any social media network is going to look 'sus' in the eyes of most Millennials and Gen Z. The oldest Millennials turn 43 this year. Millennials are now getting to the point where they are considered old. This is Gen Z's era.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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couple of things

1) your you're the same age as me I am, your you're not a boomer your you're a millennial

2) your you are overthinking this way way too much; this guy is 22, he is probably thinking its it's pretty cool a 32 yr old wants to chat

3) mentoring younger guys can be very rewarding, it shouldn't be seen as " wierd " "weird"

4) Most younger generations have grown up with social media; they literally do not know how to communicate without it. so yes So, yes, if you are intending intend on hanging out with younger people, you are going to will need it
Corrected for legibility.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Issue: Is instagram necessary to socialize nowadays with younger peers?
If you want to chat with young(er) people, having Whatsapp (when you don't mind sharing your phone number) and Telegram (when you don't want to share your phone number) are enough options to socialise with younger people.

IG is handy for 'presenting yourself', but you will be (negatively) judged for your (lack of) content. Or lack of followers unless you buy some on Fiverr.

I found that the older you are, the less younger people expect your social media to be as engaging as theirs. You don't need to be hip and engage on their level on their apps. If they're interested in you and/or your opinion, your age/wisdom/maturity is why they want to connect, not your sunset photos.
 

SW15

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IG is handy for 'presenting yourself', but you will be (negatively) judged for your (lack of) content. Or lack of followers unless you buy some on Fiverr.
I don't think buying Followers makes a lot of sense for a random guy on Instagram.

If you want to chat with young(er) people, having Whatsapp (when you don't mind sharing your phone number) and Telegram (when you don't want to share your phone number) are enough options to socialise with younger people.
Both WhatsApp and Telegram are less commonly used apps in the United States.
 

The Duke

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I have a fake Facebook profile with no friends so I can look up event info and marketplace stuff. That's it.

If someone doesn't want to get to know me because I dont have a social media account then fuhk them. They aren't for me. They just filtered themselves out. Thank you.

Stay true to yourself.
 

lubstur

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I really appreciate the feedback, from what everyone here is saying a lot of it sounds mental and insta could possibly help.

I'm going to do a bit of self reflection.
 

DreamAgain

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I resisted but made a profile eventually, yes it helps build your social proof and connect with the younger generation. Male and female for different purposes obviously.

However, make sure you make a good profile, travel pictures, doing fun things, no lame selfies, etc.
 

The Duke

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The last 2- 20 somethings I was with didn't seem to care I wasnt into social media.
 

Slag

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I would just tell anyone that scoffs at your lack of social media presence that you live in reality, not virtual reality.

I have an f book profile, but I use it mainly for selling on marketplace. I have a nice profile pic and a few things that I've been tagged in, so prospective customers know I'm not a creep, but that's it.

I don't post about my accomplishments or make it look like my life is so much grander than everyone else's. All that self promotion and praise garnering isn't me.
 
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Divorced w 3

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Never have given out mine to anyone and it hasn't caused any issues.

I wouldn't give out social media info to anyone within the first several months. It's only used to disqualify you silently.

Make them disqualify you based on what you do in person.
This this this this this

you are another step closer to being every other fvcking loser orbiter chump the second you engage into social media with her.

did she fvck some of those guys? Yes. Is she with them now, possibly but unlikely, you should question why. Are they backup candidates, yes.

So ask yourself, if the reason this stuff exists is self validation then you should be curious as to why she wants you on her page engaging with her in public without being super super committed
 
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