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Is Facebook and Texting Killing Game As We Know It?

spinaroonie

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Is Facebook and Texting Killing Game As We Know It? - New York Times

Game is highly predicated on cold approaches. Moreover, game is highly contingent on girls being receptive to cold approaches.  And if social norms dictate that a girl should remain weary of “creepy” outsiders, a DJ, irrespective of how smooth or suave he is, will face an uphill battle in a cold approach – he will be dismissed as a “creeper” now matter how tight his game.

Interesting NY Times article on how the explosion of texting and Facebook is – ironically - creating growing insularity particularly amongst girls today, and girls increasingly dismissing outsiders as “creepers”. This growing phenomenon has profound implications for DJs whose game is highly predicated on girls being receptive to cold approaches.

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http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/31/magazine/31FOB-onlanguage-t.html

 

Creeper! Rando! Sketchball!

 

When Liana Roux, a junior at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, was reading a Facebook event page for her friend’s birthday party recently, she noticed a terse proviso at the end of the announcement: “No randos.” The friend wanted only people she knew to come to her party and thus sought to bar any random strangers, or randos, in collegiate parlance.

Roux is keeping track of words like rando for an assignment in a class she is taking on the grammar of current English, taught by Connie C. Eble, the resident linguist in U.N.C.’s English department. Since 1972, Eble has asked her students to compile lists of slang that they encounter in their everyday interactions, and this semester, rando is going on Roux’s list.

Rando is one of a surprisingly large number of words that U.N.C. students use to refer to unfamiliar, suspicious or anxiety-producing outsiders. Skimming the lists that Eble has collected from recent classes, I kept spotting a familiar pattern: along with rando, there are nouns like creeper, sketcher and sketchball and adjectives like dubious, grimy, sketchy, sketch and skeazy. Sketchy and sketch have, in fact, been among the most frequently attested words culled from Eble’s students for the past several semesters.

These treacherous terms have been percolating for years on many American campuses. A list of slang compiled from students at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville, published in the journal American Speech in 1975, included sketch as an adjective meaning “dangerous, risky” (“I think we’re in a sketch situation”). By 1996, one of Eble’s U.N.C. students offered sketch as a noun meaning “someone who is hard to figure out.” The variations sketchball, sketcher and sketchmaster followed thereafter, all sharing an air of suspicion and possible danger or at least discomfort.

The creep family is much older, originally describing people you can’t trust because they’re always “creeping around.” In early-20th-century America, a creep or creeper could refer to a sneaky thief, a cheating lover or a despicable person more generally. In later years, the annoying or shady creep begat creepo, creepazoid and creepshow. (And just as you can be creeped out by a creepy person, you can be sketched out by a sketchy person.)

We can thank the fine minds at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology for moving random into the realm of the weird. As early as 1971, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, M.I.T.’s student paper, The Tech, was using random as an adjective meaning “peculiar, strange” or as a noun to disparage people outside a community, particularly the community of computer hackers. (The 1991 New Hacker’s Dictionary provides the example “The audience was full of randoms asking bogus questions.”) Eventually it could refer to unfamiliar faces in any social situation, like a party or a bar, with rando as a slangy 21st-century shortening.

Even if these terms describing creepy outsiders aren’t necessarily novel, the question remains: Why do they occur in such profusion on the U.N.C. slang lists? Eble points out that the words are typically used by women, who currently make up nearly 60 percent of U.N.C.’s student population. Compared with past generations, Eble said, “female students are putting themselves into more dangerous situations than they did in my day,” especially when it comes to dating and partying. Terms like creeper, rando and sketchball come in handy as women deal with men who may try to give them unwanted attention.

In interviews I conducted with Eble’s students, one recurring theme that emerged was the impact of technology and social media on the need to patrol social boundaries. “With Facebook and texting,” Natasha Duarte said, “it’s easier to contact someone you’re interested in, even if you only met them once and don’t really know them. To the person receiving them, these texts and Facebook friend requests or wall posts can seem premature and unwarranted, or sketchy.”

Facebook in particular lends itself to “stalkerish” behavior, Christina Clark explained, and indeed the compound verb Facebook stalk (meaning “excessively or surreptitiously peruse another’s Facebook profile”) shows up in the latest slang lists. “People put things on Facebook a lot of the time to show off pictures of themselves and to meet new people, but some of these new people are undesirables,” Clark said. “Unfortunately, it can be hard to filter these people out without feeling unkind, so this information is available to them, and often it is alarming if they seem to be looking through pictures or constantly trying to find out what you’re up to. These people then become stalkers or ‘creepers.’ ”

Lilly Kantarakias said she believes that the shift to technologically mediated exchanges among students is leading to a “loss of intimacy” and that this failure to engage in human contact is responsible for the rise in all of the “sketchy” talk. “People have lost both their sense of communication and social-interaction skills,” Kantarakias said. “We know only how to judge people off of a Facebook page or we easily misinterpret texts or e-mails. You can see it in the way people walk around campus, texting on their cells, being completely oblivious to the hundreds of people surrounding them. We’ve become lazy with our speech and our social profiling of fellow human beings.”

Roux observed that “as college students, we navigate through an enormous social landscape every day.” The slang words for suspicious outsiders “create a distance between ‘us’ and ‘them,’ between our clique and the creepers.” These “terms of exclusion,” as Roux sees them, don’t just separate an in-group of students from potentially dangerous people but also from “people we just dislike or people who are perceived as different or weird.” And that type of behavior, even if it is complicated these days by new technology, new social pressures and new slang expressions, is surely as old as the hills.

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So for the DJs here – how does one contend with this growing phenomenon?
 

The Mad Ghost

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Dude, NYCTimes probably have their own individual Facebook accounts, Fanpages and Groups. Hasn't every media outlet got their own Twitter account? Holy Ass, I heard even Obama had a personal Twitter page. Key word here is, Oblivious.

People have lost their social bearings. I remember when they said they were going to make you pay for Facebook, I was glad, but then they scrapped that and Twittter came out. Roosh V, made a clear point in all this and its only a rush for one thing, ''FAME''. Not nation-wide fame, but fame that exceeds that of your status, area, campus, college, whatever. It's not just being very popular in your social group or campus anymore.

It doesn’t have to be national fame, but you must be known for something with a reputation that precedes you. You must have a YouTube channel with millions of views. You must be a proprietor of a hipster butcher shop. You must be a popular writer, artist, or musician. You must be nightclub promoter or DJ. You must be a competitive skateboarder. Your must be the notorious editor of a cupcake newsletter. In a culture where a million people are “famous,” you’ll have to work your ass off for scraps if you’re not. Nurture your own style and niche and then leverage that to get p*ssy. Game will always have its use, but game plus fame will be the qualities that tomorrow’s Casanova possess. Otherwise you’ll be approaching all day and night to f>ck a 6 who stops calling you after a couple bangs. You must have the complete package to get the hottest girls, with game being only the first ability of a multi-level game warrior. Guys without game will simply not get laid, not even with ugly girls.

I think you'll have to fight fire with fire with this one Spinaroonie.
 

Rhoto

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spinaroonie said:
Is Facebook and Texting Killing Game As We Know It? - New York Times
As Rollo has said: Facebook, Texting and (in Razor's words) Isolated Instant Gratification are all forms of buffers. Insulation against rejection, and what's worse, they erode the regular man's ability to hustle, or at least his patience.

Game is highly predicated on cold approaches. Moreover, game is highly contingent on girls being receptive to cold approaches.  And if social norms dictate that a girl should remain weary of “creepy” outsiders, a DJ, irrespective of how smooth or suave he is, will face an uphill battle in a cold approach – he will be dismissed as a “creeper” now matter how tight his game.
I personally don't use facebook, no time and I have far more creative ways of expressing my vanity. A lot of the girls I've dated, my bros and hell even my parents are on facebook, I still see no reason to be there! Sure, if you're on a college campus and looking to "plug in" Facebook is a great start - but shouldn't be the only means of interaction.

Game isn't something thats really contingent on the way other people are feeling about society at large. Game is what you bring to the table. Its how people perceive you.

It stems from the way you carry yourself.
The way you walk. The way you speak, interact, behave.

If you reek of desperation, of course you're going to be creepy - and who wants to talk to a creepy person? If I get dismissed for wanting to flirt with a girl.....so what? There's another one right over there.

Looking back at how far I've come from when I started looking at this stuff, I can confidently say - I want it to be a challenge.
 

FastMen

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fb has been a major mistake and msn too it just make ppl think ok to stay behind apc instead of out
 

Someone Much cooler

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girls are "Attention boars"(the term "Attention boar" has been patent/pended by Someone Much cooler). i know it, you know it, society knows it and women even know it. Now of course shawtis dont say it in those exact words, they will soften it a bit, "Yes, i enjoy attention, what girl doesnt?" Facebook is social networking but it also is an outlet for attention whoring. I do understand females wanna be safe, but they deff feed off the attention their pics get when they put em up. I other words, they want ur admiration and afirmation-not nessarily you.
 

FastMen

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Someone Much cooler said:
girls are "Attention boars"(the term "Attention boar" has been patent/pended by Someone Much cooler). i know it, you know it, society knows it and women even know it. Now of course shawtis dont say it in those exact words, they will soften it a bit, "Yes, i enjoy attention, what girl doesnt?" Facebook is social networking but it also is an outlet for attention whoring. I do understand females wanna be safe, but they deff feed off the attention their pics get when they put em up. I other words, they want ur admiration and afirmation-not nessarily you.
this might be true, but what you think about girls , i feel awful when i girl says to me by fb "hey just wanted to say hello, hope youre ok" ...makes me feel bad they just think its ok to sayhi thru a crappy board facebooj
 

Someone Much cooler

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i dont quite get what ur trying to say. but i would respond, hey friend im good how are you? Listen im not on facebook much, i got alot goin on wit work and school, heres my # call or text me.
 

FastMen

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Someone Much cooler said:
i dont quite get what ur trying to say. but i would respond, hey friend im good how are you? Listen im not on facebook much, i got alot goin on wit work and school, heres my # call or text me.
yes that would be good,thanks for the info,
 

spinaroonie

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How many threads have there been on this forum from dudes seeking help because some lame text got misinterpreted by some lame bish? Or some lame bish flaked out of a date at the last minute via text? Now is the woman as likely to cancel plans if she actually had to pick up the phone and call? And hear your voice and hold herself accountable on some level? Far less likely. The impersonal nature of texting is hurting rather than helping most guys in the game.

And y'all are too young to remember, but there was a time - before cell phones, texting, voice mail, and caller ID - when getting a girl's (house) number was a big ****ing deal. And girls would pick up. And the girl would almost certainly go out with you. The term "flake" as we know it didn't exist 10+ years ago - a flake was something that came with dandruff.

Nowadays girls give out their cell numbers like candy on Halloween. Getting bishes to answer is the biggest challenge. And getting her out is an even bigger challenge. Some guys here will say it's all a numbers game - that you need to collect 10 numbers and maybe 3 will answer and 1 will go out with you. Who has time for that sh*t?

Basically all the trends in communications technology and social networking over the last 10 years are hurting rather than helping the average guy in the dating game. Any guy 30+ whose witnessed the devolution will agree to this.
 

badboyjmm

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Is Facebook and Texting Killing Game As We Know It? NOPE

It's people using the tools that was not meant for the game that killed it
 

HeyPachuco!

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Your value is dictated before you've even started, when girls ask you for your Facebook. If you don't have it, you're seen as weird, mysterious, creepy - not in a challenge sense. Especially if you've cold approached some random girl, its much easier for her to decide whether she wants you inside her on her own terms, than yours. If you do have an FB account, you're quickly screened. It's a limbo-dance, and if you can't dance, you're booed off the stage.

Its just a quicker screening process to see if you're a pre-selected desired male. Your value and whether shes interested is not concluded after a date anymore. It's pretty much before that now. Short answer for OP, yes and no. Guys who've got their sh*t together can have some awesome profiles, doing cool stuff that beat the average commonplace dude. Average guys who haven't will simply be discarded one way or another and end up writing a flakestory for us on the board.

Funnily enough, I've witnessed my own words unravel, just a day ago before this thread was made. I remember this girl from my Play Centre, maybe some 13 years ago. I used to have a huge crush on her, well I told her this, she remembered and we were talking for atleast 20 minutes, I made her miss 2 buses as she came back from work. But she wouldn't give me her number, due to her being in a 4-year-relationship with some dude. So, we exchanged Facebooks. Read this:

Ruby: Is there a particular reason y u blocked ur profile from me....?
Heypachuco: Uh wah? Blocked profile?
Ruby: Yea....can't see the rest of ur fotos.
Heypachuco: Expilicit material is behind here, lolz. cant be letting my madre see that **** ^_^
Ruby: U might aswell take me off ur profile then.....what's the point in havin me as ur friend....??
Heypachuco: I didn't ask for ur fb, kitten! i hardly ever go on thissss. but u insisted u couldnt give ur number out becos ur married n sh*t. "/
Ruby: U did ask for my facebook BCOZ I couldn't give out my number....!
Heypachuco: Dude, you said, I cant really give it out, BUT "find" me on Facebook. I found you on Facebook and now you're asking why I added u, lmfao. Legend.
Ruby: Looool nah u asked me if I was on facebook dnt try it. After we spoke about me not havin a pin. And then before I left I said I can't give u my number but find me on fb.
Heypachuco: Cool story bro! but the only concerns here should be having some mini Ruby's and Heypachuco's running around for Xmas, I'm feeling generous like that :D
Ruby: I doubt if I was to b pregnant by u the kid would be here for Xmas...!!
Heypachuco: Aslong as the concieving is done by then, who cares lolz
Ruby: Lol. Nice thinking but I ain't havin no kids for now...gonna go sleep so sweet dreamz...x
Heypachuco: well if u have to run along ...................... :)
I'm just a very secretive person, I've made most of my albums private to anyone who isn't a friend or family. If it wasn't for family and friend members on there, I wouldn't bother with a Facebook. Haha. Whatever anyway, I'm gonna go to the Lamborghini Dealership, get my friend to hook me up and jump in a Murcielago and post a thousand pics in it driving up and down the South Bank in London.
 

sux2bu

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Rando = random loser

Creeper = usually a guy that's older say 10 years at least that's making advances on a younger girl.

Sketchball = ugly, undesirable person: basically an synonym of "creeper."
 

sux2bu

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HeyPachuco! said:
Your value is dictated before you've even started, when girls ask you for your Facebook. If you don't have it, you're seen as weird, mysterious, creepy - not in a challenge sense.
Unfortunately, this has almost become the rule and not the exception. Girls wanna do an instant "background check" so to speak and to look at your pics and see if you have any pics of other girls on your profile. :eek: They usually nag you until you give them your address to it then they instantly look it up on their cells. It's more or less a social proof thing for them which I think is pathetic and sad. I blame it on this generations sense of self-entitlement and a shift towards an instant gratification society which in turn sacrifices originality and creativity when selecting a potential partner.

We also tend to live in a world today where everyone is paranoid and suspicious of each other. Which is another reason people screen others on Facebook. Hella sad.
 

spinaroonie

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sux2bu said:
Unfortunately, this has almost become the rule and not the exception. Girls wanna do an instant "background check" so to speak and to look at your pics and see if you have any pics of other girls on your profile. :eek: They usually nag you until you give them your address to it then they instantly look it up on their cells. It's more or less a social proof thing for them which I think is pathetic.
Flip the script.

Just say "I don't add randos."
 

PapiChulo

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sux2bu said:
Unfortunately, this has almost become the rule and not the exception. Girls wanna do an instant "background check" so to speak and to look at your pics and see if you have any pics of other girls on your profile. :eek: They usually nag you until you give them your address to it then they instantly look it up on their cells. It's more or less a social proof thing for them which I think is pathetic and sad. I blame it on this generations sense of self-entitlement and a shift towards an instant gratification society which in turn sacrifices originality and creativity when selecting a potential partner.

We also tend to live in a world today where everyone is paranoid and suspicious of each other. Which is another reason people screen others on Facebook. Hella sad.

The younger, stupider b!tches do that. I consider it a stalkish behavior, because the profile may not reflect reality.

Sad indeed.
 

Jitterbug

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Have a read: http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html

If you're encountering these behaviours, you are probably dating girls from outside of your usual social circles. Meeting a stranger at some public venues then going on dates afterwards is a fairly modern phenomenon due to the anonymity afforded by urban living. Throughout history, the most common way to date has always been within social circles: through friends, friends of friends (or of relatives), work, college/uni, club (as in sport club or book club), society, hobbies. In those social circles, cool (i.e high valued) guys get laid - always have, always will. Facebook, TXT and other modern forms of communication may present some issues to Social Circle dating & relationship, but they aren't show stoppers. To people outside of the social circle though, they are a very significant challenge.

Attractive girls often have very large social circles. They have all the male attention they possibly want from them, so there's no need for them to go outside. Even if you're a high valued male yourself, there's often already an at least equally high valued male in her circle who has a great advantage over you because he's not a "random", and tons more social proof from within the social circle.

The part of the Game that has definitely changed is the hunting ground and the approach. The rest are still the same.
 

goldStandard

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All I can say is... With Facebook I've closed more pvssy than ever! Every time I meet a girl I add them on facebook. I find myself attractive because of my athletic body. and I also use Busy, quoted, witty and funny status' which make women think i'm interesting... With facebook I've actually closed more pvssy than without it.
 
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