Is Avoiding Conflict Considered “Beta?”

[nicksaiz65]

I’ve always wondered about this. I’ve never really enjoyed fighting and drama like 95% of the people on this planet do.

For instance, I’ll be going to a party in about a week. People are beefing and already talking about having guns and daring to shoot each other. This makes a ton of people excited, but it makes me soooooo uncomfortable.

In general, I just don’t enjoy conflict. Is this a bad thing that I try to avoid it whenever possible? Although if someone verbally or physically attacks me, I will most definitely stand up for myself.

Am I just being a beta bytch or is this natural? I’d like to hear some opinions.

 

[davidcarr]

Problem: you go to parties where people threaten to shoot each other.

Solution: go to parties where people don't threaten to shoot each other.

 

[FairShake]

You should avoid the "alpha-beta" dichotomy.

And this party.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

I’ve always wondered about this. I’ve never really enjoyed fighting and drama like 95% of the people on this planet do.

For instance, I’ll be going to a party in about a week. People are beefing and already talking about having guns and daring to shoot each other. This makes a ton of people excited, but it makes me soooooo uncomfortable.

In general, I just don’t enjoy conflict. Is this a bad thing that I try to avoid it whenever possible? Although if someone verbally or physically attacks me, I will most definitely stand up for myself.

Am I just being a beta bytch or is this natural? I’d like to hear some opinions.

This is not Beta. Some Men have this environment others do not. I can understand other people who enjoy that, like drug dealers, ect. My question to you is, why would you want to spend time with dangerous people or a dangerous environment? IMO People who dwell in this life style lack self control & motivation to be better. I would be uncomfortable as well, I do not think its healthy to get shot, or get arrested with a crowd.

 

[fastlife]

Depends. Ideally, you should be comfortable dealing in conflicts where they serve your purpose and competent at avoiding/defusing them where they don't.

It all comes down to frame:

My frame is that I don't do violence for violence's sake--it has to be strongly justified. My frame is abundant. So, in this scenario--I'd think, well, there will be a lot of parties where people don't threaten to shoot each other up. I'd think, there's a lot of people who like me and I don't have to impress by seeming hard. So I wouldn't be there.

In my mind, beta would be going to this party even if you don't really want to, since you're in a state of scarcity and want to impress other people & too insecure to separate fear (of legitimate bad situations) from cowardice (the inability to deal with bad situations that are necessary & unavoidable).

 

[samspade]

I’ve always wondered about this. I’ve never really enjoyed fighting and drama like 95% of the people on this planet do.

For instance, I’ll be going to a party in about a week. People are beefing and already talking about having guns and daring to shoot each other. This makes a ton of people excited, but it makes me soooooo uncomfortable.

In general, I just don’t enjoy conflict. Is this a bad thing that I try to avoid it whenever possible? Although if someone verbally or physically attacks me, I will most definitely stand up for myself.

Am I just being a beta bytch or is this natural? I’d like to hear some opinions.

Where do you live, the Sudan? You SHOULD feel uncomfortable going to a party like that, unless you're a wiseguy.

Don't start fights and walk away from them whenever possible. Finish them if you have to. The last thing you need is an arrest record because you broke someone's nose. Self defense, sure, but if you have an out, walk away. You will be called plenty of words, forget all that.

Not always easy in the moment. I try to think about how John Wayne (in character anyway) would deal. Slow, deliberate, ready to draw when necessary - usually not necessary.

 

[Soflobro#3]

Where do you live, the Sudan? You SHOULD feel uncomfortable going to a party like that, unless you're a wiseguy.

Don't start fights and walk away from them whenever possible. Finish them if you have to. The last thing you need is an arrest record because you broke someone's nose. Self defense, sure, but if you have an out, walk away. You will be called plenty of words, forget all that.

Not always easy in the moment. I try to think about how John Wayne (in character anyway) would deal. Slow, deliberate, ready to draw when necessary - usually not necessary.

No he's just black

 

[Soflobro#3]

I’ve always wondered about this. I’ve never really enjoyed fighting and drama like 95% of the people on this planet do.

For instance, I’ll be going to a party in about a week. People are beefing and already talking about having guns and daring to shoot each other. This makes a ton of people excited, but it makes me soooooo uncomfortable.

In general, I just don’t enjoy conflict. Is this a bad thing that I try to avoid it whenever possible? Although if someone verbally or physically attacks me, I will most definitely stand up for myself.

Am I just being a beta bytch or is this natural? I’d like to hear some opinions.

No this is part of black American culture. It's suggest you start hanging out with white people. Seriously.

 

[Billtx49]

A man stands up to serious confrontation in some manner when it gets in his face, but prefers to live a peaceful life.…

 

[BreezyB84]

Well you need more white friends if this is the case

 

[nicksaiz65]

Well you need more white friends if this is the case

Too much drama on a college campus lol

 

[Spaz]

Just finish college, forget abt Alpha-Beta and get ur degree, be successful in life.

Make ur family proud.

Make ur future wife proud.

Make ur community proud.

Most importantly make urself proud of being an achiever.

Beat the odds and come out top. Be different.

 

[Soflobro#3]

Just finish college, forget abt Alpha-Beta and get ur degree, be successful in life.

Make ur family proud.

Make ur future wife proud.

Make ur community proud.

Most importantly make urself proud of being an achiever.

Beat the odds and come out top. Be different.

Lmao this has extreme racial undertones. Unbelievable that both blacks liked the comment.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Lmao this has extreme racial undertones. Unbelievable that both blacks liked the comment.

Bro chill. Maybe I just wanna do better for myself, how about that?

 

[BreezyB84]

Lmao this has extreme racial undertones. Unbelievable that both blacks liked the comment.

It's the reality we live in. I knew exactly what he meant which it is why I took no offense to it.

 

[Spaz]

I would like to add. Don't go profiling on who makes better friends base on their racial make-up.

The more you travel around the globe the more you'll realise it's utterly stupid.

Only hillbillies r stuck in that racial loop.

Make friends base on merit. Even if a man is green like the hulk but is loyal etc it's good.

 

[BreezyB84]

I would like to add. Don't go profiling on who makes better friends base on their racial make-up.

The more you travel around the globe the more you'll realise it's utterly stupid.

Only hillbillies r stuck in that racial loop.

Make friends base on merit. Even if a man is green like the hulk but is loyal etc it's good.

I will slightly disagree there. You will naturally find that regardless of race, you will find people similar to gravitate towards. But I won't pretend that men of my color in some areas don't have a natural disdain for each other. And that is ok . the sooner it's realized ,the better off some of us are.

 

[nicksaiz65]

It's the reality we live in. I knew exactly what he meant which it is why I took no offense to it.

Yeah I know what you mean. Still, no need for people to be disrespectful. Everyone’s trying to do their best out here.

 

[Spaz]

Lmao this has extreme racial undertones. Unbelievable that both blacks liked the comment.

How is this racial ? The only one here that keeps harping on race is you.

This is a universal truth for all college going guys wanting to succeed in life.

 

[Billtx49]

Lmao this has extreme racial undertones. Unbelievable that both blacks liked the comment.

Color does Not matter. A man stands up to confrontation in his own manner or he runs away. It isn’t about alpha or beta, it’s about what you’re made of…

 

[BreezyB84]

Color does Not matter. A man stands up to confrontation in his own manner or he runs away. It isn’t about alpha or beta, it’s about what you’re made of…

It's about picking the battles worth fighting.