"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Is a picnic a good idea for a first date?

pancakepalace

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Do you think a picnic is a good idea for a first date? I'm thinking evening, like 6pm. Sun is going down late nowadays. In a nice spot, perhaps overlooking the city. Not sure if I would tell her. I'd just prepare the food and wine, and meet her and bring her there.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Thorninmyside

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Doesn't really leave you with an exit strategy, does it? To me that's something you reward good behaviour with. Right now you both have to qualify yourselves to each other.
 

BeExcellent

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Its different, its creative, its relatively inexpensive, and it gives you one on one time. Its memorable. You want to be memorable. Everybody goes to the bar or out to eat or to coffee.

So why not?

Another good first date activity is to wander around an interesting part of the city. Like the picnic idea it gives you one on one time for conversation, and it memorable. Its also relatively inexpensive and you can always duck in somewhere for a libation or something.
 

pancakepalace

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Doesn't really leave you with an exit strategy, does it? To me that's something you reward good behaviour with. Right now you both have to qualify yourselves to each other.
Hmm good points, especially about the exit strategy...
 

ubercat

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Nah it's over investment for a first date. And it's setting the bar High you don't want to be her permanent entertainment. Unless of course you are very young you're meant to do all that Goofy romantic stuff when you're young. If you are Young by all means have fun with it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Desdinova

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It depends on how much rapport you have with her. If you've known her a long time, get along with her really well and she has extremely high interest in you, then sure. If you still barely know her, taking her for a walk in the park would be fine after you initially meet up for coffee.
 

bigneil

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A romantic picnic is a good date if you are already dating her.

But for a first date it needs to be explicitly planned. No surprises like walking her into the woods while carrying a large basket. Also, unless there is a chance sex might happen, don't do it.
 
A

AJ84

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If a picnic is something that you yourself want to do and would enjoy, go for it.
 

ubercat

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I actually took my current girlfriend out for a picnic on our second date. Kind of special circumstances though because I was planning to go slow. She was my bosses wife's best friend so potential Fallout was high. I was late turning up to our first date because of a date and happy ending with a Malaysian girl. And I think she was pretty suss about my excuse so there wasn't much chance of getting friendzoned.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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pancakepalace

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Hmmm, seems everyone is against it. Whatever, I kind of want to do it even for myself. There's this place I kind of want to explore. I'm kind of living the high life this summer and don't want to go for a boring coffee.
 

beforeimgone

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Do you think a picnic is a good idea for a first date? I'm thinking evening, like 6pm. Sun is going down late nowadays. In a nice spot, perhaps overlooking the city. Not sure if I would tell her. I'd just prepare the food and wine, and meet her and bring her there.

Absolutely, I never go anywhere that costs money when I hang out with a chick I haven't seen naked at least ten times.

The first few times, I choose a quiet park. My only intention is getting her back into my car. Never spend money on a new female. Death sentence
 

El Payaso

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Too much.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Konada

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Probably second date will be a good choice. I wouldn't go out of my way for a girl that I barely know, if you don't like her what are you going to do?

Pack up your picnic mat and your sandwiches and tell her 'Sorry this isn't working out.' LOL
 
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