"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Is a picnic a good idea for a first date?

pancakepalace

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Do you think a picnic is a good idea for a first date? I'm thinking evening, like 6pm. Sun is going down late nowadays. In a nice spot, perhaps overlooking the city. Not sure if I would tell her. I'd just prepare the food and wine, and meet her and bring her there.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Thorninmyside

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Doesn't really leave you with an exit strategy, does it? To me that's something you reward good behaviour with. Right now you both have to qualify yourselves to each other.
 

BeExcellent

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Its different, its creative, its relatively inexpensive, and it gives you one on one time. Its memorable. You want to be memorable. Everybody goes to the bar or out to eat or to coffee.

So why not?

Another good first date activity is to wander around an interesting part of the city. Like the picnic idea it gives you one on one time for conversation, and it memorable. Its also relatively inexpensive and you can always duck in somewhere for a libation or something.
 

pancakepalace

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Doesn't really leave you with an exit strategy, does it? To me that's something you reward good behaviour with. Right now you both have to qualify yourselves to each other.
Hmm good points, especially about the exit strategy...
 

ubercat

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Nah it's over investment for a first date. And it's setting the bar High you don't want to be her permanent entertainment. Unless of course you are very young you're meant to do all that Goofy romantic stuff when you're young. If you are Young by all means have fun with it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Desdinova

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It depends on how much rapport you have with her. If you've known her a long time, get along with her really well and she has extremely high interest in you, then sure. If you still barely know her, taking her for a walk in the park would be fine after you initially meet up for coffee.
 

bigneil

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A romantic picnic is a good date if you are already dating her.

But for a first date it needs to be explicitly planned. No surprises like walking her into the woods while carrying a large basket. Also, unless there is a chance sex might happen, don't do it.
 
A

AJ84

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If a picnic is something that you yourself want to do and would enjoy, go for it.
 

ubercat

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I actually took my current girlfriend out for a picnic on our second date. Kind of special circumstances though because I was planning to go slow. She was my bosses wife's best friend so potential Fallout was high. I was late turning up to our first date because of a date and happy ending with a Malaysian girl. And I think she was pretty suss about my excuse so there wasn't much chance of getting friendzoned.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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pancakepalace

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Hmmm, seems everyone is against it. Whatever, I kind of want to do it even for myself. There's this place I kind of want to explore. I'm kind of living the high life this summer and don't want to go for a boring coffee.
 

beforeimgone

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Do you think a picnic is a good idea for a first date? I'm thinking evening, like 6pm. Sun is going down late nowadays. In a nice spot, perhaps overlooking the city. Not sure if I would tell her. I'd just prepare the food and wine, and meet her and bring her there.

Absolutely, I never go anywhere that costs money when I hang out with a chick I haven't seen naked at least ten times.

The first few times, I choose a quiet park. My only intention is getting her back into my car. Never spend money on a new female. Death sentence
 

El Payaso

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Too much.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Konada

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Probably second date will be a good choice. I wouldn't go out of my way for a girl that I barely know, if you don't like her what are you going to do?

Pack up your picnic mat and your sandwiches and tell her 'Sorry this isn't working out.' LOL
 
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