"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Invited to a sex toy party....How cool is that?
- Thread starter STR8UP
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
however, if you see the heat pack that warms up when you press it, it is worth its weight in gold!!!
penkitten
Master Don Juan
actually they are feeling things and tasting things and being talked into spending lots of money so leave your wallet in your glovebox dude.
if you are asked to go to the bathroom with a spoonful of something weird and put it you know where, try it because it is fun!
Can I choose a female assistant? Actually, I have no idea what 'where' is.....care to elaborate?
Considering the uninhibited nature of the partygoes who are expected to attend this sinful gathering and the interesting things people have had to say about these things, this might be even more fun than I originally anticipated.
I can see it now....
"Mommy, mommy! Why did you have a toy rocket in your drawer?"
"Why it's a, uh, um, er,..... a makeup holder. Where's it at? Give it to me!"
"My teacher took it"
"Your TEACHER took it?"
"She said it wasn't prapropriate to bring a pocket rocket to school"
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
KarmaSutra
Banned
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- Oct 13, 2005
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Maybe if it were a party with guys selling anal torture devices this chucklehead would be interested?
STR8UP, Brother have a great time.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
When a woman masturbates (with or without a toy) it's the sexiest thing in the world; when men masturbate they're perverts - and God forbid he use some toy to get off!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Kinda like how it's only acceptable for women to be into bisexuality?
I'll second that!
My last g/f had a box of toys she kept at my place and from time to time she would go in my bedroom and break 'em out while I was in the next room watching tv. She would leave the door cracked just enough that I could hear her moaning and whimpering. Even if I wasn't really in the mood I could never resist replacing the toy with the real thing after a couple of minutes
It took me quite a while to get her comfortable with touching herself in front of me, but once I got her over her apprehension she seemed to enjoy putting on a show as much as I enjoyed watching it!
KarmaSutra
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2005
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- 4,818
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- Age
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I couldn't agree more.Originally posted by STR8UP
I'm sure it won't compare to a good Japanese meal and the company of some interesting new friends, but I'll make the best of it
Any-friggin'-time Brother!ALright, since several of you have asked "what happened at the sex toy party?", here's how it went. Nothing too exciting, but here goes.....
I arrived at the party about a half hour late due to the fact that my AW friend was running a little behind. Got to the party and showed my AW friend around the house and introduced her to the people I know (one was the chick I started messing around with the week after. gotta woner if social proof played into that at all).
The toy party itself didn't actually get rolling until about 30 min. after we got there. In the meantime the AW was checking out all the toys out on display, while I was checking out a couple of cuties that I hadn't met before
So we got ourselves some drinks and settled in on the floor in fornt of the couch. By this time most of the younger chicks that I know had already left (WTF????) so it was basically me, my buddy, his girl, a few of her younger friends, and her MOM and a bunch of her mom's friends! Most of the women were well into their 40's, yikes!
Eventually the lady presenting the party gets up and makes everyone say their first name coupled with a dirty word that starts with the first letter of your name. After that, they start passing around q-tips with various lotions and such for everyone to sample. I played along with everything until the presented lady says, "Ok everyone, this product is for you to use while giving your man oral sex. It helps to cover up any kind of bad taste that might make you apprehensive about giving him oral pleasure." I politely declined tasting the penis sweetener, thank you very much.
Towards the end they also gave everyone a q-tip with a cream on it and told everyone to go into another room or bathroom and rub it on your you-know-what, guys included (must be what penkitten was talking about!). The AW and I watched everyone scatter to different parts of the house, and when most of the people were gone she points the q-tip at her coochie and says, "Do you mind?" I laughed and said, "Not at all." so she proceeds to stick her hand down her pants and rub it on her **** right there in front of me. Didn't realize she was that comfortable around me....hmmmm....
Then they started passing around the toys. The AW seemed to really like the remote control egg and tried to talk me into spending the $70 to buy it for her. Pffft....yea right! If I ain't hittin it, she ain't gettin' something like that from me! I think I made a smartass comment back to her, but in retrospect maybe I should have had fun with it and told her I would buy it for her on the condition that I got to hold onto the remote control and would deliver it to her the next day she worked, but she would have to insert the egg and I would "surprise" her by showing up at an undisclosed time and hitting the button! Hindsight is always 20/20.
Anyways, had a few good beers, cracked up with the women for awhile, and got some good social proof going by bringing the AW with me. The funny thing is, the AW was always sitting REAL close, any closer she would have been on top of me, and a couple of times when we were sitting on the floor she reached over and put her hand on my the middle of my back. By the end of the night I heard a couple of the younger girls asking the AW if her and I were married. I jumped in and had fun with that one!
My buddy commented later on how the AW seemed to get pissy when she talked about me bringing other women into her store. I was VERY tempted (or should I say tipsy) to call her up when I was on the way home and invite myself to her house to watch a movie with her. Then I remembered that I had vowed not to put an ounce of effort into getting into her pants, so I opted to head home as planned.
All in all I had a great time. I really wish that the younger girls that I already knew would have been there. That would have been a BLAST. I was kind of the center of attention anyways, but it would have been nice to have been able to anchor myself as a person who isn't intimidated by sexuality with that particular group of women. Maybe next time!
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Also, for those of you who'd consider the tingly lube lotions, buyer beware! I had my wife use one of these things on me once and it burned like napalm on my prick. You'd do better to spray Binaca on your member, it's about the same effect. You have been warned.
Didn't know I was being graded!
Well, I'm not saying I WOULDN'T fukk the AW, but I promised myself a long time ago that I wasn't going to go to any trouble on my part to make it happen.
The sex party and the alcoholic beverages almost made me reconsider though!
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.