"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Invited a chick to go see a movie; she didn't come
- Thread starter itishe
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
But don't they need to at least acknowledge you in order to see you in person. Seems like you are just giving them a way to ignore you.itishe said:
Here's how it went:
Me - "hey get my text about the movie"
Her -"No, but Jeana told me about it"
Me -"oh Unicel sucks mad wang, anywho get your ass up there"
Her - "Idk I might, borat sucked"
Me - "Suit yourself"
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Yeahhhhhh...... Riiiighhhhhhtttt.......itishe said:
Was this another riveting text exchange?itishe said:
She never called back, but she did show up at the house to watch the movie with us. We all laid on a futon. She laid next to me and eventually I put my arm around her I kept stroking her ear and hair. After a while I took my other hand and grabbed her hand and put my hand over it. The thing is after about fifteen minutes or so she took her hand away. I didn't get a kiss close in because I just didn't feel right doing it in front of my friends.
While I'm pretty sure she's interested in the fact that she showed up (she would of been the 3rd wheel if I hadn't so there would of been no point; remember she also said she hated the movie), and let me cuddle next to her, etc. Just was a little thrown off by her taking her hand back.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Last Man Standing
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Isolation is your friend!Last Man Standing
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Today she pulled some ****.
I called her about 11 AM today and she was out buying her prom dress in another town with a friend of hers. I had a very small conversation that which I admit could of been carried on, but I was heading to a bud's house. Anywho I tell her we should hang out tonight seeing I'm going out of town for a few days, she says she's gotta work and she says, "I'll call you or something after work". "Or something" is usually a sign they won't call.
Anywho I was going about my business, and hit the gym till about 7:45 (she gets off work at about 7 or so) and I noticed she hadn't called. I was going to invite her to play some pool so I say **** her and go play with a few buds. I get out to my car about 9 and I see she sent me a text.
Her: "Hey what's up"
Me: "nothing, just got done playing some pool"
then a few minutes later I get this:
"Oh. Well I just wanted to let you know that i can't do ne thing bcuz my mom and i got in a huge fight n she made me come home... sorry ;("
I replied, "Oh. well I get back sat. we should hang out after that sometime."
She hasn't replied to that.
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Sound like I got flaked on? I think she was being truthful but the fact she couldn't call and tell me is a bit suspicious. If so is there anything I can say that will establish the fact that I don't like being flaked on?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Last Man Standing
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Anywho, I'm not going to respond to this thread until you stop saying, "Anywho'
Mind_Body_Soul
Senior Don Juan
:crackup:Last Man Standing said:Anywho, I'm not going to respond to this thread until you stop saying, "Anywho'
Her IL doesnt sound high at all. It does seem that she's still leaving an opening to you and still somewhat interested, since she's still even talking to you still. If anything I say dont contact her for a week or 2. And when you do, do ask her out. Dont use the term 'should' or 'hang out' - it shows indecisiveness. set a time and pick a place/activity to do.itishe said:
Some girls will ignore your advances/lose interest if they believe you're not interested in them sexually/romantically - so do let it be known.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Masochist...itishe said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Haha
Yep this is the same chick I went to the movies with, and the same chick I cuddled with while watching the movie at a friend's house. Last night about an hour later I got a text saying to call her whenever I was done. So I did and I find out she sent that text right after her "fight with mom" one and it just came later. She was sleeping so we only talked for a few minutes. I told her to call me today and she did while I was taking a nap.
She left a message on myspace saying this:
"heyyy.
so i called you back and you didn't answer...soo...
you should call me sometime this weekend...k?"
I replied with this,
"Hey you ****, I was taking a nap then I heard my phone going nuts, was too lazy to go grab it. I found out I'm leaving tomorrow reeallly early and not tonight but gotta work tonight
. Anywho, I should be back saturday sometime. We'll have to do something this weekend, we should see if you can kick my ass in pool."
------------------------
I was going to call her back but decided not to after getting that message and the fact she couldn't call me last night. She's very insecure and shy so I think she likes the guy showing alot of interest first, I.E. making the first few calls to her, blah blah.
She just replied with this:
"hey...
i suck at pool...puhhh.
i work on saturday till 530 or 7, not sure, but we can do sumthing after that if you want
ne wayz, i'll tty if you call me back or on sat or w/e...
<3
M "
I replied with:
"Haha sounds like you're afraid of the phone
. If I'm not too busy I'll call ya today but I got a ton of **** to do before I take off so I'll call you saturday for sure. BTW Pool it is
"Last Man Standing
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You don't say "anywho" to her do you? It is not a very masculine word - don't ask me why, it just isn't!!
This bugs me because I set up the date, not her. But one of these guys is also a boyfriend of one of her close friends so I don't think he'd be showing up to outmack me if he would of came.
Either way very interesting.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.