"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Invited a chick to go see a movie; she didn't come

itishe

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There's this girl I have in a few of my college classes. She's shy, and in my eyes very attractive and she's never had a boyfrience since 5th grade so I figure why not give her a shot. She's came to one of my parties and we talk once and a while, along with alot of commenting/messaging on Myspace so it's not like it was a cold approach.

Anywho I sent her a text tonight, here's how the conversation went:

"A few of us are going to Norbit at 7 if you want to come"

She replies, "Who's all going, and what message were you talking about"

"Luke, Kyle, Me and maybe Francine"

and after that she never replied. Ignore the "message" part, but is there anything I could of done better?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Because she felt like a virgin being invited to an orgy.
 

Obsidian

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movies aren't real good for first dates, nor are groups of friends
 

itishe

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I see, so I'll just play it cool and try again in a week or two. Any ideas for dates that arn't as threatening but get the point across that I'm not interested in being her buddy?
 

itishe

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I'm still legally defined as a child, so I figure I got another year to act like one. :moon:
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

blueguy

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itishe said:
"Luke, Kyle, Me and maybe Francine"
Yeah, groups make it difficult for isolation. Movies make it difficult for rapport. And also bringing a girl makes it an instant "no" to girls who play by the rules.

All around a group of friends (including a female) to a movie isn't a first date.

I know you were probably trying to imply competition by mentioning "maybe Francine", but it was a bad call in this context.
 

itishe

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Oh no, I just wanted the chick to feel comfortable. I figured that she'd be more comfortable and have others to talk to if I get bored of talking to her if there were more there. I honestly invited another girl to the show that is a friend of mine and she asked so I told her, I didn't do it to make her jealous or bring competition.
 

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Ok, try this for another date.. Call her or txt her, "Hey, I just rented a porno, want to come over and watch it with me?" It's best to be suttle at first.
 

blueguy

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If I was a girl, and I got that message from a guy I liked, I could see it as the guy thinking of me only as a friend. On the other hand, if a guy I liked called me and asked me to do something one-on-one, I would be more interested.
 

itishe

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Live and learn I suppose. I'll see if she wants to go grab a bite to eat sometime.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LA_Chico

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yea bro, invite her over for DVD
 

foamy

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"yea bro, invite her over for DVD"

Dido,

Make her dinner. That is, make her dinner with her there. Have something planned out, like pasta (spaghetti is easy to make) and make it with her.

Then use lots of Kino while cooking, smear some sauce on her face (In a joking manor) ext. ext.

If you cant cook, learn.

Worked for me lots of times.


Foamy
 

thickandcreamy

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There's nothing wrong with suggesting a movie. Letting her know you have a social life and that she's invited along for something you're already doing anyway is cool.

Nothing wrong with texting either. Girls text each other, say at least once a week. Maybe more!

The question I have is: is this girl attracted to you in the first place? Have you gotten any IOI's from her? If not, move on. If yes, suggest another get together. Just the two of you.
 

Obsidian

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yeah, i guess i have to agree that it wasn't a particularly *bad* move to ask her. It just wasn't real great either, for the reasons I mentioned.

coffee or a meal is better. Isolation is usually important, and also you get more of a chance to converse than at a movie.
 

thickandcreamy

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Regardless of the outcome (and I hope they are positive), props to the OP for taking action.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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dynamicallyidle

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Fallen33 said:
Be a MAN and CALL next time. You pretty much just asked her out on AIM. Are you 12?
Meh, I like texting. What shows more disinterest? It's all a matter of what you say, and how she hears you saying it in her head as she reads it. But so far, it's worked well for me.
 

Obsidian

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hah, i asked a girl to dinner over facebook a couple days ago

Of course, I didn't have her number so it was justifiable.
 

Jon55

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foamy said:
"yea bro, invite her over for DVD"

Dido,

Make her dinner. That is, make her dinner with her there. Have something planned out, like pasta (spaghetti is easy to make) and make it with her.

Then use lots of Kino while cooking, smear some sauce on her face (In a joking manor) ext. ext.

If you cant cook, learn.

Worked for me lots of times.


Foamy

Bears repeating. Cooking = insta-win :up: (as long as you make it fun)
 

Lust

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itishe said:
There's this girl I have in a few of my college classes. She's shy, and in my eyes very attractive and she's never had a boyfrience since 5th grade so I figure why not give her a shot. She's came to one of my parties and we talk once and a while, along with alot of commenting/messaging on Myspace so it's not like it was a cold approach.

Anywho I sent her a text tonight, here's how the conversation went:

"A few of us are going to Norbit at 7 if you want to come"

She replies, "Who's all going, and what message were you talking about"

"Luke, Kyle, Me and maybe Francine"

and after that she never replied. Ignore the "message" part, but is there anything I could of done better?
I'm guessing you didn't escalate right.

And does she know these other people? I would have tried a 1on1
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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