"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Invited a chick to go see a movie; she didn't come

itishe

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There's this girl I have in a few of my college classes. She's shy, and in my eyes very attractive and she's never had a boyfrience since 5th grade so I figure why not give her a shot. She's came to one of my parties and we talk once and a while, along with alot of commenting/messaging on Myspace so it's not like it was a cold approach.

Anywho I sent her a text tonight, here's how the conversation went:

"A few of us are going to Norbit at 7 if you want to come"

She replies, "Who's all going, and what message were you talking about"

"Luke, Kyle, Me and maybe Francine"

and after that she never replied. Ignore the "message" part, but is there anything I could of done better?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Poll

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Because she felt like a virgin being invited to an orgy.
 

Obsidian

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movies aren't real good for first dates, nor are groups of friends
 

itishe

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I see, so I'll just play it cool and try again in a week or two. Any ideas for dates that arn't as threatening but get the point across that I'm not interested in being her buddy?
 

itishe

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I'm still legally defined as a child, so I figure I got another year to act like one. :moon:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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blueguy

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itishe said:
"Luke, Kyle, Me and maybe Francine"
Yeah, groups make it difficult for isolation. Movies make it difficult for rapport. And also bringing a girl makes it an instant "no" to girls who play by the rules.

All around a group of friends (including a female) to a movie isn't a first date.

I know you were probably trying to imply competition by mentioning "maybe Francine", but it was a bad call in this context.
 

itishe

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Oh no, I just wanted the chick to feel comfortable. I figured that she'd be more comfortable and have others to talk to if I get bored of talking to her if there were more there. I honestly invited another girl to the show that is a friend of mine and she asked so I told her, I didn't do it to make her jealous or bring competition.
 

Poll

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Ok, try this for another date.. Call her or txt her, "Hey, I just rented a porno, want to come over and watch it with me?" It's best to be suttle at first.
 

blueguy

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If I was a girl, and I got that message from a guy I liked, I could see it as the guy thinking of me only as a friend. On the other hand, if a guy I liked called me and asked me to do something one-on-one, I would be more interested.
 

itishe

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Live and learn I suppose. I'll see if she wants to go grab a bite to eat sometime.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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LA_Chico

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Los Angeles baby!
yea bro, invite her over for DVD
 

foamy

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"yea bro, invite her over for DVD"

Dido,

Make her dinner. That is, make her dinner with her there. Have something planned out, like pasta (spaghetti is easy to make) and make it with her.

Then use lots of Kino while cooking, smear some sauce on her face (In a joking manor) ext. ext.

If you cant cook, learn.

Worked for me lots of times.


Foamy
 

thickandcreamy

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There's nothing wrong with suggesting a movie. Letting her know you have a social life and that she's invited along for something you're already doing anyway is cool.

Nothing wrong with texting either. Girls text each other, say at least once a week. Maybe more!

The question I have is: is this girl attracted to you in the first place? Have you gotten any IOI's from her? If not, move on. If yes, suggest another get together. Just the two of you.
 

Obsidian

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yeah, i guess i have to agree that it wasn't a particularly *bad* move to ask her. It just wasn't real great either, for the reasons I mentioned.

coffee or a meal is better. Isolation is usually important, and also you get more of a chance to converse than at a movie.
 

thickandcreamy

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Regardless of the outcome (and I hope they are positive), props to the OP for taking action.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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dynamicallyidle

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Fallen33 said:
Be a MAN and CALL next time. You pretty much just asked her out on AIM. Are you 12?
Meh, I like texting. What shows more disinterest? It's all a matter of what you say, and how she hears you saying it in her head as she reads it. But so far, it's worked well for me.
 

Obsidian

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hah, i asked a girl to dinner over facebook a couple days ago

Of course, I didn't have her number so it was justifiable.
 

Jon55

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foamy said:
"yea bro, invite her over for DVD"

Dido,

Make her dinner. That is, make her dinner with her there. Have something planned out, like pasta (spaghetti is easy to make) and make it with her.

Then use lots of Kino while cooking, smear some sauce on her face (In a joking manor) ext. ext.

If you cant cook, learn.

Worked for me lots of times.


Foamy

Bears repeating. Cooking = insta-win :up: (as long as you make it fun)
 

Lust

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itishe said:
There's this girl I have in a few of my college classes. She's shy, and in my eyes very attractive and she's never had a boyfrience since 5th grade so I figure why not give her a shot. She's came to one of my parties and we talk once and a while, along with alot of commenting/messaging on Myspace so it's not like it was a cold approach.

Anywho I sent her a text tonight, here's how the conversation went:

"A few of us are going to Norbit at 7 if you want to come"

She replies, "Who's all going, and what message were you talking about"

"Luke, Kyle, Me and maybe Francine"

and after that she never replied. Ignore the "message" part, but is there anything I could of done better?
I'm guessing you didn't escalate right.

And does she know these other people? I would have tried a 1on1
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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