"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Introducing an ex to a current girl

ubercat

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Sorry for those who expected a kinky threesome thread. Nope unfortunately not

I got an ex who was actually a good woman a lot of the faults in the relationship at the time were me and she has actually matured since.

Not perfect by any means she can be manipulative trying to get things for her kid. But I'm well capable of dealing with manipulation these days.

She's one of the few woman I think would actually be worth being friends with i.e. she won't drop you like a stale fart as soon as she gets a boyfriend.

Unfortunately my current girl is like a bloodhound when it comes to exes and she found some photos with her name a couple of years back so she knows who she is.

I would llike to become friends again it's been like 7 or 8 years since I was romantically involved with this chick.

She keeps making contact just in a friendly manner and I don't catch up with her because I m wary off my woman's reaction.

My missus is Asian and it seems to be mandatory for all asian chicks to be the jealous type.

Yes I know this is a risky manoeuvre has anyone managed to do it? Or is the consensus that it's just not worth it?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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dustmuffin

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My opinion…..not worth it. Jealous gf sure to cause a stink.
 

2Rocky

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Not necessary unless you share custody on a child and the two are going to have to interact. In that case it is a "minimal contact" sort of arrangement.

Exes are Exes for a reason. Leave the past in the past and move on.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If your "missus" wanted to rekindle a relationship with her ex after 7 years wouldn't you be a wee bit peeved?
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Uber,
No old Fellow,this is too much of a cultural leap for even the most progressive Mainland Chinese Lady....But carefully managed I regularly see old flames,what the eyes of my dusky consort don't see her heart wont grieve over...but it is a risky business,a few years ago an old flame had a change in her domestic relationships and came on heavy,sadly she had to go over the side,pity really as though only 4foot nine she was a fantastic lover,the secret is not to be too greedy!
 

Hamurabimbi

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Did it last week. Was fine. The ex- and I broke up years ago. Time heals all wounds.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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RickTheToad

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Sorry for those who expected a kinky threesome thread. Nope unfortunately not

I got an ex who was actually a good woman a lot of the faults in the relationship at the time were me and she has actually matured since.

Not perfect by any means she can be manipulative trying to get things for her kid. But I'm well capable of dealing with manipulation these days.

She's one of the few woman I think would actually be worth being friends with i.e. she won't drop you like a stale fart as soon as she gets a boyfriend.

Unfortunately my current girl is like a bloodhound when it comes to exes and she found some photos with her name a couple of years back so she knows who she is.

I would llike to become friends again it's been like 7 or 8 years since I was romantically involved with this chick.

She keeps making contact just in a friendly manner and I don't catch up with her because I m wary off my woman's reaction.

My missus is Asian and it seems to be mandatory for all asian chicks to be the jealous type.

Yes I know this is a risky manoeuvre has anyone managed to do it? Or is the consensus that it's just not worth it?
You're just asking for trouble. Don't do it dude.
 

Black Widow Void

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Should you meet up with the ex (and your intentions are above board) tell your girlfriend that you'd like her to tag along.

I broke up with an ex in 2009. For a year, she had the typical scorned lover attitude, but she finally got over it. Over the past years, she and I will have coffee or a bite to eat two or three times a year. If I'm in a relationship, the ex knows that I will not see her unless the current girlfriend comes along (or the GF is okay with my going alone).

Not sure of your situation, but the above has actually benefited me. Although I felt no long-lasting chemistry with the ex, she's not bad looking and super intelligent. Indirectly, this sort of 'communicates' to a current GF that my standards are high.
 
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ubercat

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Sorry guys wasn't precise enough. No balls deep intentions. What I wondered was how to introduce them. I just wanted to reconnect with my ex as a friend. She did a 5 year degree, fought in an actual revolution, had her own business...generally a decent person. Still might not be worth it
 

Barrister

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Not understanding what the motivation is to bring the ex back into your life. Just seems like it has the propensity to create problems with your current GF and introduce a lot of drama into your life. I get that you think she is a good person, but just seems like there is little payoff for the potential fallout.

Alternatively, why even mention it to the current GF? You can still be cordial with your ex without making some formal introduction between her and your current girl. When you see you can be nice and catch up - but its not like you're planning to actually make any plans with the ex. So just say nothing and don't make a big deal about it.
 

ubercat

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It's just that I find very few woman worth having as friends. But you guys are right it's not worth it
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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