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Introducing an ex to a current girl

ubercat

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Sorry for those who expected a kinky threesome thread. Nope unfortunately not

I got an ex who was actually a good woman a lot of the faults in the relationship at the time were me and she has actually matured since.

Not perfect by any means she can be manipulative trying to get things for her kid. But I'm well capable of dealing with manipulation these days.

She's one of the few woman I think would actually be worth being friends with i.e. she won't drop you like a stale fart as soon as she gets a boyfriend.

Unfortunately my current girl is like a bloodhound when it comes to exes and she found some photos with her name a couple of years back so she knows who she is.

I would llike to become friends again it's been like 7 or 8 years since I was romantically involved with this chick.

She keeps making contact just in a friendly manner and I don't catch up with her because I m wary off my woman's reaction.

My missus is Asian and it seems to be mandatory for all asian chicks to be the jealous type.

Yes I know this is a risky manoeuvre has anyone managed to do it? Or is the consensus that it's just not worth it?
 

dustmuffin

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My opinion…..not worth it. Jealous gf sure to cause a stink.
 

2Rocky

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Not necessary unless you share custody on a child and the two are going to have to interact. In that case it is a "minimal contact" sort of arrangement.

Exes are Exes for a reason. Leave the past in the past and move on.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If your "missus" wanted to rekindle a relationship with her ex after 7 years wouldn't you be a wee bit peeved?
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Uber,
No old Fellow,this is too much of a cultural leap for even the most progressive Mainland Chinese Lady....But carefully managed I regularly see old flames,what the eyes of my dusky consort don't see her heart wont grieve over...but it is a risky business,a few years ago an old flame had a change in her domestic relationships and came on heavy,sadly she had to go over the side,pity really as though only 4foot nine she was a fantastic lover,the secret is not to be too greedy!
 

Hamurabimbi

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Did it last week. Was fine. The ex- and I broke up years ago. Time heals all wounds.
 

RickTheToad

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Sorry for those who expected a kinky threesome thread. Nope unfortunately not

I got an ex who was actually a good woman a lot of the faults in the relationship at the time were me and she has actually matured since.

Not perfect by any means she can be manipulative trying to get things for her kid. But I'm well capable of dealing with manipulation these days.

She's one of the few woman I think would actually be worth being friends with i.e. she won't drop you like a stale fart as soon as she gets a boyfriend.

Unfortunately my current girl is like a bloodhound when it comes to exes and she found some photos with her name a couple of years back so she knows who she is.

I would llike to become friends again it's been like 7 or 8 years since I was romantically involved with this chick.

She keeps making contact just in a friendly manner and I don't catch up with her because I m wary off my woman's reaction.

My missus is Asian and it seems to be mandatory for all asian chicks to be the jealous type.

Yes I know this is a risky manoeuvre has anyone managed to do it? Or is the consensus that it's just not worth it?
You're just asking for trouble. Don't do it dude.
 

Black Widow Void

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Should you meet up with the ex (and your intentions are above board) tell your girlfriend that you'd like her to tag along.

I broke up with an ex in 2009. For a year, she had the typical scorned lover attitude, but she finally got over it. Over the past years, she and I will have coffee or a bite to eat two or three times a year. If I'm in a relationship, the ex knows that I will not see her unless the current girlfriend comes along (or the GF is okay with my going alone).

Not sure of your situation, but the above has actually benefited me. Although I felt no long-lasting chemistry with the ex, she's not bad looking and super intelligent. Indirectly, this sort of 'communicates' to a current GF that my standards are high.
 
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ubercat

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Sorry guys wasn't precise enough. No balls deep intentions. What I wondered was how to introduce them. I just wanted to reconnect with my ex as a friend. She did a 5 year degree, fought in an actual revolution, had her own business...generally a decent person. Still might not be worth it
 

samspade

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Sorry guys wasn't precise enough. No balls deep intentions. What I wondered was how to introduce them. I just wanted to reconnect with my ex as a friend. She did a 5 year degree, fought in an actual revolution, had her own business...generally a decent person. Still might not be worth it
It sounds like the problem is the current jealous gf. I know people will say "put yourself in her shoes." So try that. If your gf got together with an old ex as friends, would it bother you at all? Some people can handle this, some people can't. A lot of Sosuavers think it should never happen. Personally I consider rampant jealousy a way bigger problem. Frame solves everything. (However - no matter how mature everyone is, girls who have both fukked you can get funny around each other and try to pull rank.)

My credo is - if it's something I want to do, I'll do it and how she reacts is up to her. If it's something she wants to do, she's going to do it, so I'll deal with it however I need to, good or bad. Living proactively is much better than setting "boundaries."
 

Barrister

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Not understanding what the motivation is to bring the ex back into your life. Just seems like it has the propensity to create problems with your current GF and introduce a lot of drama into your life. I get that you think she is a good person, but just seems like there is little payoff for the potential fallout.

Alternatively, why even mention it to the current GF? You can still be cordial with your ex without making some formal introduction between her and your current girl. When you see you can be nice and catch up - but its not like you're planning to actually make any plans with the ex. So just say nothing and don't make a big deal about it.
 

ubercat

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It's just that I find very few woman worth having as friends. But you guys are right it's not worth it
 
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