"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Internet dating is far fetched ... don't do it ...
- Thread starter rgeere
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
No, he didn't ... if he did he would have realized that I was actually closer to looking the way he advised.Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
I guess you did not look at all his pictures.....
rgeere
Master Don Juan
I don't know if you saw these, the first one I have on hotornot right now ..Originally posted by Luveno
What I meant was neat facial hair, not a pubestache. Perhaps an EVEN five-oclock shadow.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/rmcnew/MyPicture015.jpg
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/rmcnew/MyPicture014.jpg
ACtually I did look at your pictures. Allow me to elaborate:
1. Your facial hair in your later pictures isn't neat. It appears unkempt. You look like Kurt Cobain.
2. That long hair isn't styled. It looks, again, unkempt, almost like John Connor or Bryan Adams circa 1997 .
3. Dress better. The cowboy hat doesn't make you Mr. pret-a-porter.
If you did indeed lose the glasses permanently, good.
TO me, you still appear as if you're trying to impress someone in those pictures. That's more something you have to work on from the inside.
1. Your facial hair in your later pictures isn't neat. It appears unkempt. You look like Kurt Cobain.
2. That long hair isn't styled. It looks, again, unkempt, almost like John Connor or Bryan Adams circa 1997 .
3. Dress better. The cowboy hat doesn't make you Mr. pret-a-porter.
If you did indeed lose the glasses permanently, good.
TO me, you still appear as if you're trying to impress someone in those pictures. That's more something you have to work on from the inside.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Well, I guess not everyone is picky about who they choose to go out with.Originally posted by Luveno
I will have to disagree with this. Hotornot is the best online dating site out there, for a number of reasons:
1. It's concise: You know what you're getting. There's no huge profiles you have to sift through, and no huge photo albums of girls' cats and j-lo and all that junk. Its a profile you won't read, and one pic that you rate yes or no. Thats it.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
I like your advice, but can you elaborate more on how it looks like I am trying to impress someone?Originally posted by Luveno
ACtually I did look at your pictures. Allow me to elaborate:
1. Your facial hair in your later pictures isn't neat. It appears unkempt. You look like Kurt Cobain.
2. That long hair isn't styled. It looks, again, unkempt, almost like John Connor or Bryan Adams circa 1997 .
3. Dress better. The cowboy hat doesn't make you Mr. pret-a-porter.
If you did indeed lose the glasses permanently, good.
TO me, you still appear as if you're trying to impress someone in those pictures. That's more something you have to work on from the inside.
Surely you can't mean that by the way I look if you say I am unkempt ... there has to be some other clues that made you come to that conclusion.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
Re: this post is wild
Yeah, high ratings mean jack ...
What are you talking about?Originally posted by gmm567
You can't even see his face and he's rated a 9.9.
Then the legs open. My god.
We need more posts like this. Who out there has improved
there ratings? What did they do?
Geoff
7.2 to 9!
Yeah, high ratings mean jack ...
That was quite the sarcastic remark -did you have a bad day?Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Well, I guess not everyone is picky about who they choose to go out with.
Of course I am picky about who I go out with, but I fail to see how reading a long winded profile can differentiate between potential candidates. I will explain my train of thought:
The difference between written word and face-to-face convo is that one is utilateral, and the other is bilateral.
Since when online the only thing I care about is looks, I judge whether or not I want to meet them based on that alone. It is similar to real life: you approach someone based on primarily looks. There are no profiles to read.
Reading a profile that is too long is a waste of my time. If hotornot did have gigantic profiles I still wouldn't read them. Girls can LIE about themselves in their profile. There is no way for one to "cross-examine: a profile, and thus there is very little advantage to actually reading one.
In summary, my 'mechanism' for online dating is:
1. Is she attractive? If so, meet them.
2. Set a date. Maybe chat a bit to make sure she's not insane.
3. Meet in person. This is where interaction counts. Based on how you interact with her, a decision can be made to pursue further or not.
That's how I think. Now tell me how you think.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'm picky.Originally posted by Luveno
That was quite the sarcastic remark -did you have a bad day?
Of course I am picky about who I go out with, but I fail to see how reading a long winded profile can differentiate between potential candidates. I will explain my train of thought:
The difference between written word and face-to-face convo is that one is utilateral, and the other is bilateral.
Since when online the only thing I care about is looks, I judge whether or not I want to meet them based on that alone. It is similar to real life: you approach someone based on primarily looks. There are no profiles to read.
Reading a profile that is too long is a waste of my time. If hotornot did have gigantic profiles I still wouldn't read them. Girls can LIE about themselves in their profile. There is no way for one to "cross-examine: a profile, and thus there is very little advantage to actually reading one.
In summary, my 'mechanism' for online dating is:
1. Is she attractive? If so, meet them.
2. Set a date. Maybe chat a bit to make sure she's not insane.
3. Meet in person. This is where interaction counts. Based on how you interact with her, a decision can be made to pursue further or not.
That's how I think. Now tell me how you think.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Hello rgeere,
I will explain myself in better detail. Perhaps this will shed light on my opinion.
The unkemptness I speak of is:
1. Your facial hair/shadow or whatever does not grow evenly around the "beard" area of your face. It does not appear that your moustache connects to your chin-goatee. Not many people can pull a split goatee like that off. So I'd suggest growing the shadow evenly around your face. If you can't, shave clean until you can.
2. The hair actually does look greasy...kind of patted down, like you stuck your head in corn syrup and combed it down. This is in no way meant to be offensive. I would suggest you do a search on mens hairstyles and find some threads. There you can find links to pictures of hairstyles that may interest you.
I've always been sort of anti-cam. It seems webcam pics always have people posing for them, looking like they want people to notice them. Real photographs can have that spontaneous quality to them, where the person doesn't look posed. I would suggest getting a photo with better lighting(but not stark like your hat/glasses pic)after you've further improved your look.
Good luck man.
However, the improvement between those 2 cam pictures and your initial glasses pics is very remarkable. You're on the right track.
I will explain myself in better detail. Perhaps this will shed light on my opinion.
The unkemptness I speak of is:
1. Your facial hair/shadow or whatever does not grow evenly around the "beard" area of your face. It does not appear that your moustache connects to your chin-goatee. Not many people can pull a split goatee like that off. So I'd suggest growing the shadow evenly around your face. If you can't, shave clean until you can.
2. The hair actually does look greasy...kind of patted down, like you stuck your head in corn syrup and combed it down. This is in no way meant to be offensive. I would suggest you do a search on mens hairstyles and find some threads. There you can find links to pictures of hairstyles that may interest you.
I've always been sort of anti-cam. It seems webcam pics always have people posing for them, looking like they want people to notice them. Real photographs can have that spontaneous quality to them, where the person doesn't look posed. I would suggest getting a photo with better lighting(but not stark like your hat/glasses pic)after you've further improved your look.
Good luck man.
However, the improvement between those 2 cam pictures and your initial glasses pics is very remarkable. You're on the right track.
al77
Master Don Juan
Chick in striped pants? Since now you have first plump girl - I really like her, to me she is very cute.Originally posted by rgeere
Well, either I am bragging, or opening myself up to the risk of getting praise or critcism which can either positivelly or negitivelly affect my self-esteeme; girls find the second option more attractive, so I am sticking with that explanation.
Striped pants chick is not cute... but it is just my opinion.
Besides she is posing a bit too much for a pic.
I have no idea what you are talking about - your religion and LTR?
C'mon. If you want her to be of the same realigion - ok. But it is not an attraction. It is either a requirement or a preference.
Anyway, for my taste her face is not hot at all....
The chick in blue looks good, but seems shallow - I would agree with you.
I think you do brag about - I checked out your profile... you said "charismatic" hmmm....you know, it is much better to show it, instead of directly saying it without backing it up.
It is not very bad though, some chick dig it... some dont. I just believe in common sense, and common sense chicks don't like when a guy openly showing off with some qualities.. without being able to prove it. Just my opinion.
al77
Master Don Juan
Pic#1 is the best of your pics. Yeah.. hair is a bit too long...the pic is a bit dark..Originally posted by rgeere
I don't know if you saw these, the first one I have on hotornot right now ..
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/rmcnew/MyPicture015.jpg
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/rmcnew/MyPicture014.jpg
If you add more light you can significantly improve the pic: same idea...but a) more light b) plane backgorund
rgeere
Master Don Juan
That's a good point ... I might get better results if I don't appear so mysterious and superficial myself.Originally posted by al77
I think you do brag about - I checked out your profile... you said "charismatic" hmmm....you know, it is much better to show it, instead of directly saying it without backing it up.
It is not very bad though, some chick dig it... some dont. I just believe in common sense, and common sense chicks don't like when a guy openly showing off with some qualities.. without being able to prove it. Just my opinion.
Not that I intend to show off, it is just sort of my nature to advertise what I can and can't do. Not that I mean to make things up, some people might come to that conclusion.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
I think I will take your advice, thank you ...Originally posted by Luveno
Good Luck! However, the improvement between those 2 cam pictures and your initial glasses pics is very remarkable. You're on the right track.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
al77
Master Don Juan
It really doesnt matter even if you make them up - if you able to back it up in the profile - you are in. It how it works.Originally posted by rgeere
Not that I intend to show off, it is just sort of my nature to advertise what I can and can't do.
Not that I mean to make things up, some people might come to that conclusion.
So if you just do teh first part, i.e. show off a bit and dont back it up with some kind of written "proof".. well, it doesnt look good to people who have some common sense.
Advertising: Lets see... a beer commerical where a guy with a double chin and double stomach drink some yyy beer and immediately he gets a HB10 model next to him.
Conclusion: chicks, hot chicks dig beer drinker with a double chin?
Good advertising includes lots of showing off PLUS some proof that their product can actually deliver all of those things.
If you just say "Hey, this is the best shoes.. buy them!" it doesn't make any sense even if you put 10 HB10 next to an ugly guy who is wearing them.
Same things are applicable to any kind of profiles...it is all common sense in my opinion.