Interesting signals from chick - how to escalate when negative body language

[Asbury]

Just back from a date with a girl - a few of you may remember my last thread about how we couldn't meet for two-three weeks. Anyway, we met tonight.

A little about me: new to the dating scene (this year), learning how to build attraction - can always pretty much guarantee kissing a girl but have difficulty escalating to sex. I guess this will come with experience, so I'm not worried. The thing that I'm trying to work on right now is being a bit less timid.

To the date: we met and was quite closed in body language. I took it slow, build rapport and was able to open her up a bit. In bar 2 she was leaning into me, eye contact, 7/10 interested I'd say at this point. No natural point to go for the kiss though so I left it until bar 3. We were getting closer in bar 3, she seemed interested but went to the toilet again and her body language became a little more closed. This really set me on the back foot and I backed off a little until the end when I told I had a nice time, which she did too and I went for the kiss and she kissed back. No tongue, though it was more passionate than just a peck on the lips.

She either has low interest and was being nice or was just shy. Either way, on to the next one and more experience/learning.


My question is: how do you continue to build attraction and increase kino when yous sense her interested is dwindling?

 

[marmel75]

You stop paying attention to any of that stuff and you just assume she is attracted and behave he way YOU want to behave.

All that looking for signs BS is for amateurs. You will fvck your self out of more lays than you realize by waiting for a "sign". If you want to grab her and kiss her, you grab her and kiss her. If you want to grab her ass, you grab her ass...then blame it on her for being so sexy with a sly smile. If you want to grab her hand and put it on your c0ck while you are sitting there talking like its completely normal and while carrying on a normal conversation, then you do it. If you are outside walking and you feel like throwing her up against the wall and pinning her arms above her head while you kiss her passionately then you do it. You generally act like you are able to do whatever you want and she will be OK with it. And the more you do those things, the more OK she will become with it, because it is really attractive to have a guy who doesn't need any "signs" from her to go for what he wants. Unahshmedly and unapologetically.

Women don't find guys who have to do the equaivalent of "asking for permission" like little Timmy raising his hand to go to bathroom in 2nd grade very attractive in general. By waiting and watching for signs you are "waiting for her permission" to do anything. Fvck that. Men take what they want.

 

[Asbury]

You stop paying attention to any of that stuff and you just assume she is attracted and behave he way YOU want to behave.

All that looking for signs BS is for amateurs. You will fvck your self out of more lays than you realize by waiting for a "sign". If you want to grab her and kiss her, you grab her and kiss her. If you want to grab her ass, you grab her ass...then blame it on her for being so sexy with a sly smile. If you want to grab her hand and put it on your c0ck while you are sitting there talking like its completely normal and while carrying on a normal conversation, then you do it. If you are outside walking and you feel like throwing her up against the wall and pinning her arms above her head while you kiss her passionately then you do it. You generally act like you are able to do whatever you want and she will be OK with it. And the more you do those things, the more OK she will become with it, because it is really attractive to have a guy who doesn't need any "signs" from her to go for what he wants. Unahshmedly and unapologetically.

Women don't find guys who have to do the equaivalent of "asking for permission" like little Timmy raising his hand to go to bathroom in 2nd grade very attractive in general. By waiting and watching for signs you are "waiting for her permission" to do anything. Fvck that. Men take what they want.

Ok, interesting approach, will try this out.

 

[RangerMIke]

Be paitent if she gives you resistance... back off and chat for a bit... keeping eye contact and try again later. If she gives you an epic rejection after a bold move then just walk away because you are wasting your time anyway. You just saved yourself all the time you would have wasted trying to make something work tagt was never going to happen.

 

[marmel75]

Ok, interesting approach, will try this out.

Chance favors the bold.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

You stop paying attention to any of that stuff and you just assume she is attracted and behave he way YOU want to behave.

All that looking for signs BS is for amateurs. You will fvck your self out of more lays than you realize by waiting for a "sign". If you want to grab her and kiss her, you grab her and kiss her. If you want to grab her ass, you grab her ass...then blame it on her for being so sexy with a sly smile. If you want to grab her hand and put it on your c0ck while you are sitting there talking like its completely normal and while carrying on a normal conversation, then you do it. If you are outside walking and you feel like throwing her up against the wall and pinning her arms above her head while you kiss her passionately then you do it. You generally act like you are able to do whatever you want and she will be OK with it. And the more you do those things, the more OK she will become with it, because it is really attractive to have a guy who doesn't need any "signs" from her to go for what he wants. Unahshmedly and unapologetically.

Women don't find guys who have to do the equaivalent of "asking for permission" like little Timmy raising his hand to go to bathroom in 2nd grade very attractive in general. By waiting and watching for signs you are "waiting for her permission" to do anything. Fvck that. Men take what they want.

Without being a rapist.
You still have to read the vibe.
"hi, nice to meet you" then put her hand on your **** might be rushing it a little.

 

[The Duke]

The difference between rape and making love is...............salesmanship!

Every bit of the advice here is correct for certain situations. But its still important to calibrate. People have different expectations of what is appropriate and what is not and it varies depending on how comfortable they are and or attracted they are. Grabbing her hand and putting it on your cahk like Marmel suggested will offend just as many as it will impress. I'd practice more self control on a first date and prefer a more mental approach to seduction than physical.

I think this girl went as far as she was comfortable with for an initial meetup and you really don't have anything to worry about. You forcing something physical would have shut her down for good and hurt your future chances. Stop worrying and push for more on the next date!

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

IMVHO don't get too hung up on IOIs. A lot of new guts do. "but she touched her hair in front of me and smiled. "

Did she come up with an excuse to leave? No.
Did she sem to be having an ok time? Yes.
Did she agree to go on another date? Yes.

Those are all the IOIs you need.

 

[JohnChops]

You stop paying attention to any of that stuff and you just assume she is attracted and behave he way YOU want to behave.

assuming attraction is the best piece of advice given. Takes the guess work out of the process and then you can approach, somewhat worry free, ask her out and then depending on her answer, is your answer to if she is interested or not.

 

[marmel75]

Without being a rapist.
You still have to read the vibe.
"hi, nice to meet you" then put her hand on your **** might be rushing it a little.

Lol, I'm talking about in date after 15-20 minute of BSing...

 

[Asbury]

2nd date last night with this girl. Much more open and I was much more forward. The result was that we spent most of the night with out tongues down each others throats. She had work early this morn so we didn't stay out too late and hence no sex. But I am delighted with how forward I was and how she responded to it.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

2nd date last night with this girl. Much more open and I was much more forward. The result was that we spent most of the night with out tongues down each others throats. She had work early this morn so we didn't stay out too late and hence no sex. But I am delighted with how forward I was and how she responded to it.

OMG... it might almost be as if some people on here know what the hell they are talking about. congrats.