Interest Level

[The Duke]

Getting to know a girl that displays high interest from the start is a breath of fresh air. She will stand out from all the rest and the process will flow easily. There won't be doubt in your mind as to where you stand with her.

Dealing with a girl that has low/medium interest leaves a guy confused, tired of the games, and thinking all women are flakes. These women string you along because they like attention and don't have any better option.

So what does high interest look like?

Before the 1st Date:
-She takes your calls/texts and replies within a decent time frame.
-She is easy to schedule a date with.
-She doesn't alter date plans.(its up to you to pick a time/place that is appealing to both of you.)
-She add's to the conversation and keeps it going.
-She asks questions.
-She is talkative.
-She gets nervous on the date.

During the 1st Date:
-Her body language is open to you. Always sit next to her, not across from her because a girl that is interested will turn towards you when she talks if she is interested. It also allows for touching. Pay attention to eye contact.
-She will laugh at your jokes and smile.
-As the date goes on she will be more at ease.
-Her pupils dilate.
-She compliments you.
-She follows your lead.

After the 1st Date:
-She remembers things you told her.
-She opens up more and tells you more personal stories.
-She is curious to learn more about you.
-The conversations get longer. I've had 6hr long phone conversations with new women before.
-She likes to talk/text before bed.
-She makes herself available for dates. She will clear off her schedule to meet with you.
-She sends seductive/naughty pics and you won't even need to ask.
-Her face lights up and her arms are open when she greets you.
-She starts touching you more.
-She mirrors your movements.
-She finds reasons to talk to you.
-If she makes the effort, she is interested.
-If she keeps responding, and keeps saying yes, she is interested.
-If she keeps the plans she agreed to.
-If you haven't made plans with her for the weekend yet, she will inquire about your plans. Its her hope that it includes her and you will ask her to do something.
-She will let you know she talked to her friend about you.
-She keeps up with your social media.

There are exceptions to every bit of this. Not all women are the same. Its not always black and white. Life happens, we all get distracted at times.

A womans degree of self-confidence will dictate how she expresses interest. So will how she was raised. More traditional women play their cards closer. A womans degree of anxiety, attachment style will drive a lot of how she responds to you.

Also, most women are kind and don't want to offend anyone(its their protection mechanism). Just because you think she is being nice doesn't mean she is interested. Thats your simple brain that doesn't understand women very well. They hope you will get the hint and move on.

Examples:

-I met a girl thru a mutual friend at a bar one night. After the bar closed we went to her house. She poured us some wine, and cooked some steaks. We had some good conversation and she asked a lot of questions about who I was as a person. It started to become clear that she had some sort of interest in me. Up until this point I just chalked it up to her being nice. When I left that night she asked for my number so I was certain she was interested then. Two weeks later she invites me to a hotel/resort pool party. At the pool party there was some "touching" between us in the water. For about a month she would randomly call/text. I rarely initiated anything. As her frustration must have grown with me not reciprocating/initiating, she reached out to my mutual friend asking him if I was interested or not. She had a good personality and great body, but the face wasn't there for me.

-Another girl I met dancing. We hit if off well and there was lots of physical chemistry. A day later I texted her and she responsed quickly. Later she told me she didn't think I would ever call her. I actually thought she was out of my league looks/age wise so I didn't get my hopes up but that didn't keep me from pursuing her. A week later we had a date that went well. She did most all of those things I listed above. Only thing was she didn't talk a lot like most women do. I teased her about being so quiet, She said she was just nervous.

-I had another girl that I was with for several years. In the early dating phases she would never initiate anything. It got me to wondering how interested she really was. What kept me pursuing her was every time I did ask her out she agreed. IF they keep saying YES, they are interested.

-I met a girl off Match several years ago. We talked on the phone and texted before going out. I had scheduled a date for Saturday nite and she breaks her phone at the lake that day. She cuts her lake time short so she could go to the phone store and port her number over to her work phone. She didn't want me to think she was blowing me off and wanted to make sure our date happened as scheduled.

-I was working a girl at a bar one nite. We were flirting back and forth, light touching. She took my hat and put it on her head and started taking pictures of herself. Up until that point I thought she was interested., It was all about using my hat to take pics of herself. This girl liked the attention and played the game just to get what she wanted. I did get her number but she never replied to my text.

The best way to learn to interpret interest level correctly is to interact with women. For a long time, I looked at each and every interaction with a female as an opportunity to observe and learn so I could become better. Nowdays, I get more base hits, home runs than strike outs. It wasn't always that way.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I wholeheartedly agree. While not hard and fast, she will surely not only make time for you but prioritize you, and always continue to prioritize you pretty much at the expense of anyone and anything.

 

[BPH]

Everything you said is pretty much the basis for everything. All things can be boiled down to either "she was interested enough", or "she wasn't interested enough".

What I want to add is to judge by ACTIONS, not WORDS.

I'll give examples in both directions.

The girl in my LR - 100 post seemed disagreeable. She wanted to have our date early enough that she could go out and do other things afterwards. I was resistant to that because I didn't want to just be used as a pregame for her to do whatever fun things she had in mind once she got through with me. Initially I wrote her off, but when she kept texting me trying to come to a compromise I realized she was interested in ME, and not just the DATE. As that post described, I ended up banging her at the end of the 2nd date.

Another girl I spoke about last Halloween. We had hung out twice and both times she had ended the date by giving me head, describing how she was disappointed that neither of us had a place we could go for sex (me at my parents, her at her host family's). I tried to facilitate this by making plans where the date didn't revolve around sex, but had ways that it would happen afterwards (I planned to book a room). She would agree each weekend, and yet each weekend she would flake, later apologizing to repeat the process. I once had a chance meeting with her out at the bar and she was happy to see me - excited, smiling, dancing on me, making out all night. But when it came time to leave with her, she had an excuse revolving around another guy, one that she evidently respected enough to not endanger a potential relationship, but not enough that she wouldn't spend all night making out with me in front of her roommate. She flaked again after that weekend when we made plans one final time, and nothing's happened since - she just watched my Instagram stories sometimes.

What she does > What she says

 

[CornbreadFed]

Excellent!

 

[Hal9000]

This is very true. When women are interested they make everything very easy. There are no mixed signals, no slow responses, they're almost always available to get together, they make intimacy very easy, etc. So many guys on here are trying to get women who exhibit none of these traits to date them and it usually just isn't going to happen.

 

[CornbreadFed]

This is very true. When women are interested they make everything very easy. There are no mixed signals, no slow responses, they're almost always available to get together, they make intimacy very easy, etc. So many guys on here are trying to get women who exhibit none of these traits to date them and it usually just isn't going to happen.

but if they go no contact and make 8 topics about her on sosuave, they might have a chance!!!

 

[SW15]

judge by ACTIONS, not WORDS.

What she does > What she says

This is simple advice and very good advice. It's good to remember in times where it is difficult to evaluate what's going on with some woman.

So what does high interest look like?

The list was good. Not every female will show all the signs, but they'll show some with higher level interest.

Dealing with a girl that has low/medium interest leaves a guy confused, tired of the games, and thinking all women are flakes. These women string you along because they like attention and don't have any better option.

This is accurate. Dealing with low/medium interest women can cause a lot of problems.

 

[Glassguy]

Good post @The Duke
One thing that always told me that I did things right up to the first date is this: the woman would be nervous on the first date. That told me that I did things to create good anxiety and she was trying to qualify herself to me, and she was worried about messing things up wayyy more than I would have ever been.
My current gf has been high interest from the start. 6 months in and she still has that "good anxiety".
Humans want what is rare and don't want to screw up a great opportunity when it comes along. That is why it's important to always be self improving, be the best version of yourself and always have options during the single/dating phase.
The right woman AND situation makes things so easy.

Another quality post by The Duke and shows that he is one of the people on this forum with great insight and adds good content to the forum.

 

[GoodMan32]

What you're saying makes total logical sense.

It's just a shame how the more clues a woman shows of being into me, the less likely I am to act on her clues.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Good post @The Duke
One thing that always told me that I did things right up to the first date is this: the woman would be nervous on the first date. That told me that I did things to create good anxiety and she was trying to qualify herself to me, and she was worried about messing things up wayyy more than I would have ever been.
My current gf has been high interest from the start. 6 months in and she still has that "good anxiety".
Humans want what is rare and don't want to screw up a great opportunity when it comes along. That is why it's important to always be self improving, be the best version of yourself and always have options during the single/dating phase.
The right woman AND situation makes things so easy.

Another quality post by The Duke and shows that he is one of the people on this forum with great insight and adds good content to the forum.

all good points as well.
As many times as I can be attempted to be told otherwise, I think there should always be some level of female anxiety at all times related to the relationship. You can exhibit excellent qualities but there should always be a bit of potential that something else good catch the eye.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's just a shame how the more clues a woman shows of being into me, the less likely I am to act on her clues.

The only thing making that less likely is you

 

[Clockwerk50]

Unfortunately, interest can be unpredictable. She might be highly interested one week, but if you don’t behave appropriately, her interest could fade by the next.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Unfortunately, interest can be unpredictable. She might be highly interested one week, but if you don’t behave appropriately, her interest could fade by the next.

Because this is fake high interest which is usually unusual and gives too good to be true. Op is talking about genuine high interest.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Unfortunately, interest can be unpredictable. She might be highly interested one week, but if you don’t behave appropriately, her interest could fade by the next.

That’s anybody. Can’t live life in constant response to others. Women will though, in large part respond well early on if the interest level is high and you keep things exciting and interesting - later on as things become more entrenched, one’s core personality and ambitions that were shown and discussed early on become exciting in themselves as they happen, provided again that the personalities match.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

I've noticed that when they text following the date (same evening) it's a generally a good sign of interest.

 

[GoodMan32]

The only thing making that less likely is you

Technically true.

The more convinced I am she's into me, the more of an idiot I'm going to feel like if it turns out I'm wrong. That's why I'm reluctant to act on seemingly obvious clues.

 

[SW15]

The more convinced I am she's into me, the more of an idiot I'm going to feel like if it turns out I'm wrong. That's why I'm reluctant to act on seemingly obvious clues.

Make moves. Can't get pussie without making moves.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Because this is fake high interest which is usually unusual and gives too good to be true. Op is talking about genuine high interest.

High interest is not a permanent state; it is a starting point. Just like buying a bike you’re excited about, if you lose interest later, it doesn’t mean your excitement was fake, it just means something within yourself or about the bike changed your feelings towards it.

 

[GoodMan32]

Make moves. Can't get pussie without making moves.

Interestingly, none of the free cooch I've gotten came from me making a move in person.

7 of the 9 came from online.

1 came from a woman on public transportation following me home.

1 was with a woman I had been flirting with for ages (but neither of us necessarily made an official move on the day of our romp; it just sort of happened)

For a lot of men, I understand making moves in person is the key to getting cooch. For me, on the other hand, in addition to the fact making a move in person has never led to cooch, it hardly ever even leads to so much as a date.

Unfortunately, interest can be unpredictable. She might be highly interested one week, but if you don’t behave appropriately, her interest could fade by the next.

Like the woman who chatted with me outside for 2 and a half hours after our 1st date, wanted to drive me to work, wanted to drive me to an appointment, texted me nonstop, and begged me for a 2nd date multiple times...only to end up hating me before the 2nd date had a chance to happen.

 

[BeExcellent]

Fully endorse this thread and great insight from @The Duke.....

If she is saying YES she likes you!!!