"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Don Juan
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Two weeks ago, I took a girl out to lunch. We had a good time. Three days later, I asked her out to dinner/movie for this past Sunday night. Dinner went awesome (at least I thought). I don't feel I'm projecting how I felt about it on her, either. She laughed a good bit, and did at least 60% of the talking. And we have a LOT in common.

In the car on the way to drop her off, she mentioned she'd be going out of town with girlfriends this weekend. Not a big deal, but it did put me in a weird position time-wise if I wanted to see her again relatively-soon. Tuesday was of course Valentine's, so I didn't contact her until Wednesday morning. I texted her that I'd like to see her before going out of town, and suggested doing dinner Thursday night (I know, short notice).

I didn't get a reply until a LOT later, that evening. Saying that she was sorry for not getting back w/me sooner bc she had been out of town all day. She also said she already had plans for Thur night, but was "not sure about the weekend now". I was totally confused. Was this a blowoff? If so, why now imply you might be available for the weekend? I kept my reply simple, "No problem. If you're here this weekend, we could get together, if not, it's cool."

Haven't heard back since. She might be out of town. I have not clue. I need some impartial input into if this might be an infamous "Test" we all read about, or if it sounds more like I'm toast. :confused:

Thanks in advance.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sighsigh

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I'm sorry, but what's the problem here? She replied she has plans Thursday night, but she's making up for that by saying she might be available for the weekend. Where's the blowoff here? Maybe I didn't understand.

In any case, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't be worrying about a girl's IL, since if you do there's a good chance you will do something needy and that will only lower it. And anyways, there's barely anything you can do to raise it (except look as un-needy as possible).

So stop worrying. This is why plates are useful.
 

marmel75

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You have failed to mention what you have done with her. Kiss, make out, fool around with clothes on, fool around with clothes off, oral, sex? If you have done nothing on either date she may think you are a typical "nice guy" and potentially a "friend"...
 

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Don Juan
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sighsigh said:
I'm sorry, but what's the problem here? She replied she has plans Thursday night, but she's making up for that by saying she might be available for the weekend. Where's the blowoff here? Maybe I didn't understand.

In any case, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't be worrying about a girl's IL, since if you do there's a good chance you will do something needy and that will only lower it. And anyways, there's barely anything you can do to raise it (except look as un-needy as possible).

So stop worrying. This is why plates are useful.
That's exactly what I thought. Just basically looking for some un-biased opinion. I've got a girl who's a friend that thought it was bad that she took so long to text me back, and then not have her not let me know for sure if she was leaving town or not.

And to answer the question of if we'd done anything physical yet, I didn't try to kiss her after the first date.

Thanks guys.
 

marmel75

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2 dates and no move may be interpreted as a lack of confidence on your part by her...see what happens I guess...

My motto: "A woman is more likely to forgive you for acting like a man than for acting like a bit*h"
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Don Juan
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marmel75 said:
2 dates and no move may be interpreted as a lack of confidence on your part by her...see what happens I guess...

My motto: "A woman is more likely to forgive you for acting like a man than for acting like a bit*h"

I hear ya on that. The first "date" was just a quick lunch on a work day, so I didn't really count it.

Probably going to go NC and see if she comes after me, whether she went out of town or not. Thoughts?

And BTW love the motto...
 
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