"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Input on second date; **** test?

Starsinpond

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So, a while ago (a Friday) I went on a second date with this girl that I had met on a week day the week before. The first date went relatively well, but there was no closing kiss or much touch (so it's up for debate). Nevertheless, she was really keen on meeting again. So I took her out to play pool since it would be boring to just sit and talk again. And now to the issue; we got there and within 5 min she started texting. She was on that phone constantly in between the pool turns (took one picture of the pool hall). After about 15 min in I went for my beer and as I passed behind her (I didn't try to peek into what she's doing) I got a drive by blow kiss by a guy she had on Snapchat. I was already losing my patience with this crap, as I find any phone on a date to be highly disrespectful (unless of course you're off to the toilet or such), but that was too far for me. Almost directly after she says she's really sorry and that it's her work colleagues, but that seems more like damage control than anything. So I sneak up my phone and start to make plans with someone else, although I didn't do it to her face; even though she noticed I was on the phone for sure. A few minutes pass, she continues to pick up her phone but much less frequently, and I just focus on the pool without giving her any attention. My beer is now empty, and she tells me that I should get a new one (which I suspect is so that she could close the conversation with the guy or send a selfie). I get back with my beer (still had to wait for my new plans to start so why not kill some time with pool meanwhile?), and by this point she started throwing in questions to get to know me, but I didn't really care and gave only short answers with no follow up. Don't get me wrong, I was not visibly angry or anything (I honestly was not that upset), but I think she felt that I was disinterested and maybe ready to leave. After the second game of pool I put the cue away. She asked if we should go grab some drinks somewhere else, to which I reply I had to run. We go up to get our jackets and she attempts at some small talk, I let her know which directions she needs to head to to get back as I was going the opposite way this time. I tell her it was nice to meet her and she says the same, we hugged, and I headed off. This happened in about 1:20 hours.

So, I have never experienced this type of behavior before so I was a little "shocked". My question to you guys is; how would you have handled this situation? Was this a **** test? I mean, she really seemed to want to continue the night. And lastly, I wouldn't mind meeting her again (on the condition the phone remains away); how would you go about contacting her again?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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marmel75

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Maybe she got tired of waiting for you to escalate.
 

Doctor Europeo

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Or maybe it´s a case of low interest.

Don´t think too much about it. Keep working on improving yourself.

Date her again whenever you feel like it and try to escalate physically.
 

jaymbrs

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Being on your phone is due to boredom. Seems to me like she didn't care to be at the pool hall and wanted to be doing something else.
 

Mazer

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Sounds like low-interest. I never use my phone when I am on a date. I find it disrespectful. I don’t think she has earned another date. Wait for her to reach out for another date to check her interest level.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ohrein

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Why do you want to see her again? Surprised you lasted that long. I have ended Tinder dates within twenty minutes for that bull****. If I'm sitting there staring at someone using their phone for an amount of time that makes me notice it, I say, "Well, enjoy your date with your phone, I'm off." Then I get up and leave and delete the girl's number. No second chances with that ****. You wanna be dating someone who's in bed with you on her ****ing phone? My girlfriend very rarely uses her phone for long stretches when we're together but if she does she starts apologizing and finishing up whatever she's doing because she knows exactly how I feel about it. So in the rare cases it happens I'm like, "It's all good, you don't make a habit out of it, go for it.". That's respect. What you experienced was disrespect. Hard next.
 
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