Indian Muslim born and raised in Texas confused with conflicting beliefs regarding dating women

[GeeMale]

I'm going to be 25 in May. Non-married guys in my community around always keep romance on the low when its not some Cute Muslim girl that they can't see a long term future with.The chicks in our community do that with non-muslim guys as well lol.

But what about my mom and dad?? I love them and they are practicing Muslims who'd be disappointed as **** knowing I've ****ed a few women already before marriage. I mean they know I have a DWI from 2011 however I've been self improving myself a lot in which they see me as mature somewhat lately in the last year or so. I stopped watching porn and jacking it about a year ago, I became a non-smoker in April after an 8 year half pack a day addiction. I'm also more outgoing and people think I'm generally chill though can be too real/upfront sometimes.But women I can not resist. They are too beautiful and there is way too much of them. I pray 5 times a day to GOD knowing that I might commit another sin of ****ing or making out with some girl the same week.


How the hell do I get rid of this guilt?

 

[marmel75]

Believe what you believe because you've looked at everything, thought it through and made a decision. Not because someone has told you to believe something. You have to make decisons that are best for yourself. Sometimes they are tough decisions that end up alienating people you are close to.

I'm not saying this is what you should do, but you definitely should not do something simply because you've been taught to do it since you were a kid without even thinking if you actually agree with what you are doing.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I do not mean this as an insult to the Prophet Muhamad, but from what I can gather, he liked girls a lot, too, if that helps your guilt at all. Good luck with your self-improvement and congratulations on what you have already achieved.

 

[marmel75]

I do not mean this as an insult to the Prophet Muhamad, but from what I can gather, he liked girls a lot, too, if that helps your guilt at all. Good luck with your self-improvement and congratulations on what you have already achieved.

Appears he definitely is a "Do as I say, not as I do..." type character...

13 wives?? Including 11 at once?? I'd say so...and he had sex with a 9 year old? That's simply disgusting...

"So, by any realistic measure, the creator of the world's most sexually restrictive religion was also one of the most sexually indulgent characters in history."

https://www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/quran/muhammads-sex-life.aspx

 

[marmel75]

In the Qur'an:

# of times Mohammed tells Muslim followers they can have sex slaves: 4

# of times Mohammed tells Muslim followers to pray 5 times a day: 0

 

[Masculinity]

I don't understand how people can care so much about what others think of them.

 

[GeeMale]

I do not mean this as an insult to the Prophet Muhamad, but from what I can gather, he liked girls a lot, too, if that helps your guilt at all. Good luck with your self-improvement and congratulations on what you have already achieved.

How are people

I don't understand how people can care so much about what others think of them.

Maybe because I'm their son and I live in their house? Lol.
Its wise of me to keep a nice guy reputation in the community also in Houston area while keep dating/romance in private unless I'm talking about a Muslim woman who lives nearby who I'm interested in. Get what I'm saying?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Appears he definitely is a "Do as I say, not as I do..." type character...

13 wives?? Including 11 at once?? I'd say so...and he had sex with a 9 year old? That's simply disgusting...

"So, by any realistic measure, the creator of the world's most sexually restrictive religion was also one of the most sexually indulgent characters in history."

https://www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/quran/muhammads-sex-life.aspx

I’ve actually had my sister brig this topic up to a sheikh before. The dude brought out a book with all sorts of mathematics involved. She was 19 when she got married. Defloration was 3 years later. The US makes birthdays into a great ordeal and celebration but tre rest of he world doesn’t care nearly as much. Arabs in particular suck with birthdays. That’s kinda why people fvck up Aisha’s age.

 

[SeymourCake]

If you're promised 71 virgins in the afterlife, why can't you live the same paradisaical life in the present life? What's the sense of having wives in this life if you're promised different spouses in the next life?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Listen my dude I know your struggle. But consider this for a moment:

In Islam, God says that a crazy person will not be judged for their actions because that is how they were made. It is not their fault. Because they cannot help it, they won’t be judged. In that same way, we as men have strong urges towards women. How can God judge us for having sex with women if this is how we were made? How are we supposed to marry them in order to have sex with them if we know that in the future they may divorce us and destroy our lives because of the legal system behind it? Especially with how God made women, why should we have to force ourselves into a situation where our lives could be ruined for marrying them? Especially the women of today. Many don’t even want to get married to have sex, so why should we? With how fvcked up they NATURALLY are, you can’t see women as truly great, caring and loving beings because they really aren’t. Couple that by unbinding their true behavior while still pampering them and it’s hard to view them as anything more than child-barers and sex objects.

Not to mention that most of them aren’t even all that sexually appealing behind the veneer of makeup and designer clothing, especially Muslim chicks since they tend to care less about how they look than the rest. Why should we as men subject our lives to this? To women who won’t do anything for us while still having the potential to destroy our lives? God is supposed to be fair and just. Well then why should we be subject to all of this? How is it fair that we are meant to suffer for women? And they won’t even be judged for their actions because THEY WERE MADE THAT WAY. We have to go through all of this because we were told to? How is that fair?

What can we do better? Just not marry, hold our abstinence, and die off? That’s just dumb. I dare God to judge me for my actions, beliefs, words, and everything else that I’ve done. I refuse to be frowned upon for doing the best I can in a situation that HE placed me in. One of the 99 Names in Islam is The All-Knowing. And not just Islam, but all religions they say that God knows everything. Well then if that’s the case, then God should understand and empathize with me on everything that I am and have done. He out of everyone should at least comprehend why. He tells me not to do certain things, but at the same time refuses to grant me the strength or power or gifts that I wish for more than any of these sins, refused to grant me things that I NEED. Things that would have allowed me to distract myself from wanting to indulge in such ‘sinful’ behavior. Had I been granted what I wanted initially, I would not have had to go through all the problems that I’ve had and I would not have been on such a ‘sinful’ website telling me how to get women better, how they work, how people work, I would not view such sinful things, and I would be less selfish overall. I cannot be blamed for what I have done. And I don’t know you my dude, but I doubt that you can either. If God wants all of us to change, then he can. But he refuses to step in or change anything. How can we be judged for this? This is what he has provided us with. How can we make more?

 

[Macaframalama]

Tell them that they are living and flourishing in a country, where many men have paid the ultimate price, so that the rest of us could express ourselves freely and that their backwards thinking isn't congruent with the American way of life.

 

[Masculinity]

How are people

Maybe because I'm their son and I live in their house? Lol.
Its wise of me to keep a nice guy reputation in the community also in Houston area while keep dating/romance in private unless I'm talking about a Muslim woman who lives nearby who I'm interested in. Get what I'm saying?

Good opportunity to develop your own character by moving out and becoming the person you want, not who others want you to be.

 

[GeeMale]

Listen my dude I know your struggle. But consider this for a moment:

In Islam, God says that a crazy person will not be judged for their actions because that is how they were made. It is not their fault. Because they cannot help it, they won’t be judged. In that same way, we as men have strong urges towards women. How can God judge us for having sex with women if this is how we were made? How are we supposed to marry them in order to have sex with them if we know that in the future they may divorce us and destroy our lives because of the legal system behind it? Especially with how God made women, why should we have to force ourselves into a situation where our lives could be ruined for marrying them? Especially the women of today. Many don’t even want to get married to have sex, so why should we? With how fvcked up they NATURALLY are, you can’t see women as truly great, caring and loving beings because they really aren’t. Couple that by unbinding their true behavior while still pampering them and it’s hard to view them as anything more than child-barers and sex objects.

Not to mention that most of them aren’t even all that sexually appealing behind the veneer of makeup and designer clothing, especially Muslim chicks since they tend to care less about how they look than the rest. Why should we as men subject our lives to this? To women who won’t do anything for us while still having the potential to destroy our lives? God is supposed to be fair and just. Well then why should we be subject to all of this? How is it fair that we are meant to suffer for women? And they won’t even be judged for their actions because THEY WERE MADE THAT WAY. We have to go through all of this because we were told to? How is that fair?

What can we do better? Just not marry, hold our abstinence, and die off? That’s just dumb. I dare God to judge me for my actions, beliefs, words, and everything else that I’ve done. I refuse to be frowned upon for doing the best I can in a situation that HE placed me in. One of the 99 Names in Islam is The All-Knowing. And not just Islam, but all religions they say that God knows everything. Well then if that’s the case, then God should understand and empathize with me on everything that I am and have done. He out of everyone should at least comprehend why. He tells me not to do certain things, but at the same time refuses to grant me the strength or power or gifts that I wish for more than any of these sins, refused to grant me things that I NEED. Things that would have allowed me to distract myself from wanting to indulge in such ‘sinful’ behavior. Had I been granted what I wanted initially, I would not have had to go through all the problems that I’ve had and I would not have been on such a ‘sinful’ website telling me how to get women better, how they work, how people work, I would not view such sinful things, and I would be less selfish overall. I cannot be blamed for what I have done. And I don’t know you my dude, but I doubt that you can either. If God wants all of us to change, then he can. But he refuses to step in or change anything. How can we be judged for this? This is what he has provided us with. How can we make more?

Were you raised in a Muslim household?

I can see you're wisdom with everything you're saying especially women and how they truly are inside vs the picture they paint to the world of men..but why an all or nothing attitude of the ALL KNOWING? Surely people can practice their religion to self improve while even combing with a philosophy like stoicism(Im a beginner to stoicism only fell in love a few months going to read a book soon)

Anyways I got to tell you a crazy insight that confirmed you're point on women being born manipulators


I was on my laptop doing work at one of my oldest sis apartment yesterday while she had some chick slapstick comedy show on that she watches regularly. I realized that in EVERY chick flick comedy show/movie the bf's and other guys are always ambitious,genuine,and overall chill maybe sometimes even smooth. The women are hot or at least cute AND manipulative,always plotting what they want from bf/husband or guy friends.They're not even honest around their own chick friends, always backstabbing each other from envy and causing stupid drama,making up,but than repeating the process all over again LOL. Its not even hilarious like the shows make it seem. The laughing sounds of backround audience is usually when chick does something stupid that gets them caught or says something 'clever' to whoever they're trying to put down.

I have 5 sisters and no brothers by the way and Im the 2nd youngest. They alway warned me that If I dnt stay ambitious and make a lot of money and not take care of physique than there is no point in asking anything related romancing with women lol. BOY ARE THEY RIGHT CAUSE I ONLY GOT THAT INSIGHT 3 OR 4 YRS AGO

What do you think?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I can see you're wisdom with everything you're saying especially women and how they truly are inside vs the picture they paint to the world of men..but why an all or nothing attitude of the ALL KNOWING? Surely people can practice their religion to self improve while even combing with a philosophy like stoicism(Im a beginner to stoicism only fell in love a few months going to read a book soon)

You can do what you want as long as it does not supersede your religion. This is in Islam. But there are so many restrictions regarding ambition in Islam that we cannot improve as fast as others can and it’s much harder to see the fruits of our efforts as it is for others if they do not play the game like we do. Let’s say for example Olympic athletes. No one of great athleticism is Muslim. I’ve read about the alleged feats of Omar bin Khattab or Hamza bin Abi Talib, but that was over 1500 years ago; none of them today are great in any endeavor and even if they could be, Ramadan inhibits them from doing so since fasting destroys your strength and endurance. None of them have become great inventors in modern time, none of them have started up their own company and dominated any industry like say how Steve Jobs started up Apple or Bill Gates and Paul Allen started up Microsoft. None of them manufacture cars or mine for diamonds or even OIL. Yes oil is not drilled by Arabs, it’s drilled by Europe and the US, and then it’s sold back to them. You will never find a Muslim who has founded a giant corporation of any sort. It just doesn’t happen. You will instead find them as doctors, dentists, pharmacists (especially if you’re Syrian lol), accountants, gas station owners, car dealers, and occasionally lawyers and liquor store owners (of all things).

The great people are never Muslims despite there being 1.6 billion of them. It’s rediculous. There is no other religion out there that glorifies God nearly as much as in Islam. But yet, its followers are always struggling and never do anything remarkable. The last few great Muslims who existed were in the Ottoman Empire around the 1500s. After that, there’s almost no one. Yet Muslims are supposed to be blessed lol.

I was on my laptop doing work at one of my oldest sis apartment yesterday while she had some chick slapstick comedy show on that she watches regularly. I realized that in EVERY chick flick comedy show/movie the bf's and other guys are always ambitious,genuine,and overall chill maybe sometimes even smooth. The women are hot or at least cute AND manipulative,always plotting what they want from bf/husband or guy friends.They're not even honest around their own chick friends, always backstabbing each other from envy and causing stupid drama,making up,but than repeating the process all over again LOL. Its not even hilarious like the shows make it seem. The laughing sounds of backround audience is usually when chick does something stupid that gets them caught or says something 'clever' to whoever they're trying to put down.

I have 5 sisters and no brothers by the way and Im the 2nd youngest. They alway warned me that If I dnt stay ambitious and make a lot of money and not take care of physique than there is no point in asking anything related romancing with women lol. BOY ARE THEY RIGHT CAUSE I ONLY GOT THAT INSIGHT 3 OR 4 YRS AGO

What do you think?

The same thing that people say here: the game never stops. You can’t just let go and stop trying to look good. Women are manipulatively in general. It’s just the way they are. You just have to know how to deal with them.