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Independent Women

SkrooU

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Well, let me ask you a question?

If the dictionary definition of a word states one specific, strict, meaning.....how is it that this word can be completely and utterly changed based on whomever is seeking to use the word for their own narrative?

For example, Black Lives Matter did this to the word "racism", where the dictionary definition of racism states that to be racist, it means you discriminate or are prejudice against another race of people because you believe your race is better. Basically, a black guy who hates a white guy because he's white, is racist. A white guy who hates a black guy because he's black, is racist.

But Black Lives Matter completely and utterly changed this definition because the narrative they want to push is that only white people are racist, and that black people can never be racist. Thus, to push this narrative, they have RE-DEFINED the definition of racism to be a group who has significant power/resources, and who has the power to hold down other groups. This new definition allows black people to be as racist as they can (based on the real definition) and get away with it.

Now I'm going to post you four links from Wikipedia, Dictionary.com, Webster, and Free Dictionary, all defining hypergamy based on the specific definition from the Indian culture.....which is the specific ACT of a woman dating, marrying, fvcking, etc. a man of a HIGHER SOCIAL CLASS than herself. Higher social class means the guy has more money, more power, and more influence than she does.

Hypergamy - Wikipedia

Hypergamy - Dictionary.com

Hypergamy - Webster

Hypergamy - Free Dictionary




Okay, but they are using the term inaccurately.

BeTheChange specifically, if you review the links I posted from the Poon King thread, he specifically stated that women choose men based on their own personal value judgment....whatever that might be...and that in and of itself is the practice of hypergamy.

That's what he said and that's what his MGTOW, extreme, "we all hate women", group of followers patted him on the back for saying.

But that definition is WRONG if we are going based on the traditional, dictionary, definition.

My theory is that most women are not practicing hypergamy (marrying or dating UP) because they want to either run the show so they date down deliberately, or in the case of black women where many times the black woman is making more money than most of the men she encounters....she dates down because she has no other choice.

I said in the Poon King thread and I will restate it here, the only women today still practicing hypergamy are predominately white women mainly in the upper middle to higher classes.
The definition is basically: the practice of women marrying up. So my guess is that people have used the best word they could find to define a similar situation for which there is no definition. BLM changed the definition of racism with ill intent. I don't see how using the word hypergamy to explain how women tend to seek the most resourceful provider possible to be an example of ill intent. MGTOW guys who hate women certainly put a negative spin on the word though. Languages and vocabulary are always changing.
In regards to your belief that women are marrying down with the intent of having the upper hand, well, I suppose some women are like that. My belief is that as more and more women become more independent and outearn men, they see a dwindling supply of attractive men. That is why marriage rates are so low, divorce rates so high, and a plethora of single mothers exists. And men who have been burned by this or cannot secure a suitable woman with whom they can create a family are so bitter for this reason.
I personally see Asian women being the ones who are closest to practicing hypergamy in the strict definition that you are referring to. When I was using online dating a few months ago, Asian women would try to screen me in the most impersonable way right up front. Many white women are like this too I suppose. I think women in general, regardless of race, just have the gene to be hypergamous if given the opportunity. It's just hardwired into their DNA.
 

BeExcellent

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I understand your point better now @SkrooU and think the dialogue going on is a good thing.

I probably wouldn't remarry. It has more to do with risk to my assets than how much money a man has. My assets become at risk if I were ever remarried and a divorce ensued. My assets have to take care of me, educate my kids, and provide my retirement & end of life funds. Whatever is left over will go to my kids.

It was quite delicate to get out of one marriage with assets intact...not putting myself at risk that way again to someone who I do not share children with.

If I remarry it muddies the waters about clarity of ownership for my assets and it also muddies next of kin issues, including who is empowered to make medical decisions in the event of incapacitation. If I want my son or ex-husband empowered in some or all of those decisions but I'm married to a second husband who is statutorily the next of kin this creates problems that I have seen in my own family.

I want my assets to look after me and mine. The most bullet proof way to do that is to keep legally separate. I can be in a LTR for years and never need the legal repercussions. And if a man I get involved with has children I am not taking on responsibility for his kids.

I can be perfectly loyal and committed without the legal risk.
 

snowfall

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I appreciate BE's patience and depth with this. I agree, take it or leave it.
I've found being self-reliant can be a negative for some men. It takes a much stronger frame to lead. Different times...
 

SmoothTrain

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The assumptions projections and insults tossed around by certain people who shall remain unnamed are on display for anyone to read.

They have utterly no bearing or truth in my life and writing them here doesn't change that.

It merely displays the perspective of that individual, and the deep investment in a rigidly binary belief that is threatened by a differing opinion and an alternate truth.

Life is fluid, dynamic; all behaviors occur on a continuum. One's perspective is colored by one's place on the continuum.
The wordy righteousness of it all. One's adoption of an elevated philosophical tone betrays a note of familiar feminine sadness.
 

BeExcellent

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elevated philosophical tone betrays a note of familiar feminine sadness
Meh, no sadness. Tired sometimes perhaps. I really am a fortunate person. I hope others can benefit from what I share. All that typing is a lot of work! :)
 

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"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

Fruitbat

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Sp often independence is associated with either **** carousel or some half baked hatred of men and being dependent on them.

Honestly, what does an independent woman want a man for? We hope it's companionship but more often in my experience they want more of a trophy BF, often younger.

Independent men often just want f-buddies, women are no different. My main supply of sex is with professional thirty something women who turn up quickly and leave quickly. All the decent, homely women I like are married or with kids now.

Perhaps I am mixing independence with "career focused". I don't mind a girl with her own interests and no need to cling, I just don't tend to like modern, cosmopolitan women. I haven't got a clue what they want from you, but I sense divorce and being a weekend dad awaits.

Middle class career women in my experience are beacons of gossipy nastiness and completely superficial. Wagging their stupid heads about some person or another or working on some devious scheme!
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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These long form posts would be great to read if they were saying something new, like its amazing how these people can write big huge essays and say absolutely nothing new at all, like why am I reading 90% of the things I read on here, this thread is a great encapsulation of that.
 

mrgoodstuff

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There's a difference between a woman that is actually independent and those that talk about it but don't walk the walk. If a woman doesn't pay for her own food and drink, she's not independent.
A real independent won't say it
 

bat soup

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Have you ever dated a woman that you considered highly independent? What was it like? Do you consider yourself independent? Do the independent females desire males with
strong personality types? I’m guessing less than 5% of the females I know fit into this category.
They tend to be bitchy and unpleasant to deal with. Plus women always date up, so if a woman is a lawyer she needs to date a movie star.

This is why successful women generally end up surrounded by cats.
 
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