"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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In your opinion what is a MAN?

YAboi

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Hi, I am really desperate to find out what kind of activities and behaviours define a man and I would like the opinions of those who have already established themselves in the world as I would like to incorporate more manliness into my general existence.

I am fully aware of the fact that having balls, a penis,old age and big muscles are not enough for you to be called a man.

Pls help me , your suggestions, opinions and experiences will be appreciated (especially mature man forum eligible posters) ..............
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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To me a man takes care of his business point blank. He takes care of his finances, his body and his immediate surroundings. He is self assured, self reliant, and selfI confident. he is God fearing. He is humble and modest, but knows his worth. He treats others with respect and in turn will command the resect of others. He is intelliget ad strives to achieve in everything he does. he loves and provides for his family, immediate and distant. He is a pillar of support for those who depend on him. He is sexual and an excellent and generous lover and provider.


That's at least the kind of man im striving to be...
 

YAboi

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KockyMcGoodstroke said:
To me a man takes care of his business point blank. He takes care of his finances, his body and his immediate surroundings. He is self assured, self reliant, and selfI confident. he is God fearing. He is humble and modest, but knows his worth. He treats others with respect and in turn will command the resect of others. He is intelliget ad strives to achieve in everything he does. he loves and provides for his family, immediate and distant. He is a pillar of support for those who depend on him. He is sexual and an excellent and generous lover and provider.


That's at least the kind of man im striving to be...
Good response

It sometimes seems to me though that your childhood has a drastic effect on the way you are shaped and if you end up introverted, some of these things you talk about are not easily projected to others even if you believe them yourself internally.

That coupled with the fact that in Western society, the lights camera action flash bang lifestyle are worshipped tends to cause you to be labelled as mundane if these traits you talk about are not parroted through your body language and verbal communication at all times when in the presence of others.
 
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I know where you are coming from. I'm an introverted person. Ive always been shy and timid. Only after coming to collefe have I opened up and started to speak up, but not nearly as much as any of my friends. Peronally im fine with it. I enjoy being th "strong silent type" at times lol. The media does portray a lot of nonsense at times, but ultimately you are in charge of your destiny, and you can't please everybody; therefore be the person you want to be first and foremost.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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YAboi

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KockyMcGoodstroke said:
I know where you are coming from. I'm an introverted person. Ive always been shy and timid. Only after coming to collefe have I opened up and started to speak up, but not nearly as much as any of my friends. Peronally im fine with it. I enjoy being th "strong silent type" at times lol. The media does portray a lot of nonsense at times, but ultimately you are in charge of your destiny, and you can't please everybody; therefore be the person you want to be first and foremost.

I will be honest with you ,when I say introverted what i mean is prefering your own company along with the company of ppl close to you and finding the general populace tremendously draining.

But in terms of the whole manliness thing, one major concern of mine is the staggering tenacity needed to succeed point blank period in every area of life especially in this generation. There is an interesting discussion goin on in the mature man forum that relates to the female and generational side of things (its called ''young women drive me nuts'') but in terms of making it into the job market or establishing your own business, competition is so fierce it hurts.

Gaining the respect of others is another head scratcher to me at times as it is a bit complex and requires a lot of pandering to the sheep mentality of others whilst keeping your individuality. The pandering part I find difficult as it seems like a lot of giving is involved and my energy is easily expended.
 

Da Realist

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KockyMcGoodstroke said:
To me a man takes care of his business point blank. He takes care of his finances, his body and his immediate surroundings. He is self assured, self reliant, and selfI confident. he is God fearing. He is humble and modest, but knows his worth. He treats others with respect and in turn will command the resect of others. He is intelliget ad strives to achieve in everything he does. he loves and provides for his family, immediate and distant. He is a pillar of support for those who depend on him. He is sexual and an excellent and generous lover and provider.


That's at least the kind of man im striving to be...
Actually, I think you have it. There is a difference in being a man and being a "male enthusiast" as some guys turn into.
 

Leporello

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A real man is rational, compassionate, in control of himself and his dignity.
 

AAAgent

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A real man is someone who doesn't complain, get's the job done no matter what, never comprises his ideals and works towards achieving them. Even if his ideals are challenged by friends or family he stands firm for what he believes in.

A man should always have a goal and nothing including women should come before it.

A real man is a great leader, speaker, understanding, but at the same time proud and strong.

That's my opinion of what a real man and i've been striving toward achieving that ideal.
 

Just a Shot Away

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I'd say if you model yourself after Gerard Butler in 300 (except for asking his queen for permission to boot the messenger into the hole) or James Bond, you're in pretty good shape.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Trader

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Melt away the dross - masculinity at its core hinges on 2 key traits

1) Courage
2) Individuality

These two traits girls lack and they are desperately trying to find a male who embodies both

Courage manifests in everyday life - courage to take the girl, courage to take on challenges, courage to face possible rejection, courage to take on pain, courage to rely on yourself

Individuality manifests itself in all your relationships - to not care what others think about you, to stick with your convictions, even if the girl gets pissed, to express your own style (i.e. clothing) even though society does not accept it


Notice how the extreme girly girl lacks both of these traits. She is looking for the rare guy who has both to the extreme.
 

Ease

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This is an idea i've used myself.

Clint Eastwood is a brilliant role model. Watch gran torino, and get into his mindset.

Robert Deniro, Tiger woods etc. whoever works for you
 

Trader

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Tiguere said:
Man cannot be god fearing since man made up god.
Then how did you get here? Who created you?

If you see a watch lying on the ground, would you say: 'No one made the watch?'
 

Adam

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Trader said:
Then how did you get here? Who created you?

If you see a watch lying on the ground, would you say: 'No one made the watch?'

So who made God? Same thing, no?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Trader

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Tiguere said:
Man cannot be god fearing since man made up god.
Trader said:
Then how did you get here? Who created you?

If you see a watch lying on the ground, would you say: 'No one made the watch?'
Adam said:
So who made God? Same thing, no?
Correct. So therefore, you can always ask: 'Well then who made God?'

So logically speaking, the only conclusion you can arrive at is, there must be a universal first cause. In other words, God must have *always* existed. Therefore he is the first cause.

You will see next year when you take a philosophy class in college.
 

2crudedudes

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KockyMcGoodstroke said:
To me a man takes care of his business point blank. He takes care of his finances, his body and his immediate surroundings. He is self assured, self reliant, and selfI confident. he is God fearing. He is humble and modest, but knows his worth. He treats others with respect and in turn will command the resect of others. He is intelliget ad strives to achieve in everything he does. he loves and provides for his family, immediate and distant. He is a pillar of support for those who depend on him. He is sexual and an excellent and generous lover and provider.


That's at least the kind of man im striving to be...
Aside for the "God fearing" part (I'm atheist), this is a nice goal to strive for.
 

2crudedudes

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Trader said:
Correct. So therefore, you can always ask: 'Well then who made God?'

So logically speaking, the only conclusion you can arrive at is, there must be a universal first cause. In other words, God must have *always* existed. Therefore he is the first cause.

You will see next year when you take a philosophy class in college.
Logically and "God must have *always* existed" are contradictory statements. This doesn't need to devolve into a religion thread, but the existence of God is neither logical nor necessary. Fearing God may work for believers, but there are DJs out there that work without him.
 

YAboi

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Well thank you to all that posted (including brighty and mustfirstregister who gave horrific answers) . Utilising my innergame laser beam, I searched deep in my soul and found the definition of a man.

YAboi - ''A man is a person who believes that he is a man either due to his experiences giving him confirmation of this or by sheer use of his mental willpower. A man performs manly actions and activities which further feed the loop of confirmation and therefore present him as a man to the world through his projection.''
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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