In regards to "trying to hard"....

[CapedCrusader08]

This relates to something that happened recently,I won't get into it now,but I will explain later. When someone tries to be something they're not,or is trying to be something they wish they could be,in some sort of social group dynamic,does that send off signals and automatically makes people not like you and detect it?

And what are the real differences between outgoing and not so outgoing personality? Cause in some situations,mostly work or home, I am more sociable/outgoing,but at school,I get these anxiety attacks.

 

[Igetit!]

Just the fact that you asked this question shows that on some level,you ALREADY know the answer yourself. Obviously,you've been in a situation where you've been trying to as you say,"be something you're not",or "be something you wish you could be" in a social group,and they detected it.
Instead of asking questions you already know the answer to,why not focus on trying to be whatever it is that you want to become.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Igetit nailed the first part of your question.

The outgoing part.. You know that outgoing means to be more energetic in social situations, to not be shy. But being outgoing comes at different levels. You can actually be extremely outgoing or slightly outgoing.

Somebody who is extremely outgoing can be the life of the party, and can carry on conversations with strangers in nearly any situation.

Somebody who is less outgoing may be able to enjoy socializing where they are more comfortable, such as home and work like you stated.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Hmm,yeah. But then,what about being yourself? Or is that not the idea either?

Shyness/anxiety has been a problem for me. For different reasons. How do I overcome it? Cause the way things feel for me,it's gonna be a long time until I really start gettin laid,and everyone else has been on the ball.

 

[loving]

You are trying to understand feelings with logic, and are confusing your past with your future.

Those are your problems mate, that I can see so far, and I already sent you a PM a very long time ago on how to fix it.

You need to reframe your negative beliefs about who you are and make new ones and feel the difference, then live from it.

Also you should understand that everything you feel is temporary and changable at a moments notice, how you got the knowledge to become sensitive to your state and yet that knowledge didn't teach you that you can control your state is beyond me, but I just told you the answer.

You think it is going to be much harder than it actually is. The whole changing of your life future is available any second every second and each second you wait is another you suffer, that is it.

Look you made so many posts about how you're such a crapbag for a personality and your life is so crapbag etc. to get advice on what? Did any of that **** help you?

If it did, take the parts that worked and practice them. Honestly if reframing your beliefs does not work for you then it just isnt for you. NLP is huge in the area of life transformation and if you cannot do it there are one of three things wrong with you.

1. You're a masochist, which I have personally never encountered and I have no ****ing clue how to deal with. A masochist is someone who is addicted to pain and suffering, and if that isn't what a masochist is then that doesn't matter because this option means the above. If you honestly think this is you and are not bsing with yourself, then please go see a psychologist or psychiatrist, because NO ONE ON THE INTERNET CAN HELP YOU WITH THIS PROBLEM!!
2. You're self-sabotaging. Negative thought patterns do not play a role when you are consciously making decisions. Unless you are somehow aware of your emotions and unaware of them at the same time (meaning you are either lying about knowing how you feel or you are conscious), then not succeeding is a choice made by you and rationalized by your **** past. We all come from a **** past, only the fools are living from it still.
3. You're just plain not listening and want to tell people about how much you can not listen.

Listen to your questions, they are petty "What about being yourself, or is that not the idea either?" Who do you wanna be then? Go be that person's traits and they become yours. Fool we're all people and anything anyone else has is obtainable by you too.

I spent 4 minutes out of my study time writing this. If you take nothing away from my post read this one line over and over, PLEASE:

YOUR TRUE PROBLEMS HAVE ALREADY BEEN ANSWERED BY THE WISE MEMBERS HERE, AND YOU CAN CONTINUE TO POST WITHOUT RESULT OR GO BACK AND STUDY WHAT THEY HAVE TAUGHT YOU AND SEE PERMANENT CHANGE AS A RESULT OF YOUR PERMANENT COMMITMENT TO YOUR CHANGE, SO FACILITATED BY THEIR TEACHINGS.

Something has to get through to you, a light will shine.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Well,I don't know about the masochist thing,but I do feel like often If I am miserable,other people should be too. Or,I like the idea of bringing other people down. Yeah.I said it. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's a misplaced sense of competition.

I am trying to change my own patterns,perhaps I have been making things too complicated.

 

[loving]

Maybe its an elephant. What are you going to do about it?

 

[Groovy]

Well,I don't know about the masochist thing,but I do feel like often If I am miserable,other people should be too. Or,I like the idea of bringing other people down. Yeah.I said it. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's a misplaced sense of competition.

I am trying to change my own patterns,perhaps I have been making things too complicated.

YEah, and I don't think LOVING guy is helping you too much either. I mean, saying you need professinal help... WTF?!?! I don't think it's THAT bad.

I have a friend who's a genuine FATASS, FAT AS ****, who is on anti depressants, trying to loose weight, smokes A LOT if you ask me, and yet, he's outgoing, one of the funnest guys I EVER met, etc etc. He says hi to ALL the girls and is really confident and relaxed if you ask me. But by the way he looks, I BET he has self esteem issues, and I know I'm right! No matter how much he qualifyes himself, it's true, he DOES get angry sometimes, just bursts of anger, etc etc. You get the picture! Are you like this guy? Are you REALLY REALLY messed up? If not, you CAN fix yourself!

You're telling me that you're anxious, you have CONFIDENCE issues. Part of this is that you think that the world is bad, and that everyone is going to hurt you. Look at yourself! You even wish that others loose, so you can WIN, which means you think like there is not enough resources in the world for everyone, so you must take from other people. My friend... That's IMMATURE! Yo have to look at the world as a place of ABUNDANCE, as it IS. There IS enough approval for everyone. Only then you can truly be happy at other people when they WIN. . To look at world that way, you have to develop confidence. I mean, you ARE the great catch, you KNOW you're going to be sucessful in the future, so why is there a reason to bring others down? There are enough good girls around, so no worry if your friend just got oneAnxiety is what you feel when confidence is taken from you.

What are you scared of? NOTHING trobules you when you're at home, so you're outgoing, etc. But when you're at school, you loose confidence, you get anxious, for no good reason. Remember that anxiety is a signal telling you that you're low on confidence.

Why should we get anxious? For one reason- survival. It's an reflex telling you to run. And are you really under a real threat in school?

Once you realise this, you will have no reason to be anxious anymore.

LOVING guy you're so messed up, lol. You complicate stuff TOO DAMN MUCH man. I don't think you should be using all of that fancy terms. BORING! Your problem is NOT that complicated, and you're NOT THAT messed up. Damn guy! I dunno what to tell you. You talk like a 50 year old. You should be out having FUN instead.

And DON'T offer the advice you think is golden to other people who don't look as messed up as you imo. At least capedcrusader has an idea that he maybe complicating things.

Don't get ME wrong, I KNOW I don't know THAT much about anything tbh, but at least I try not to complicate stuff. Your problem seems to be something basic like low self esteem or low confidence that you complicated to obsession. It's not THAT bad.