CapedCrusader08 said:
Well,I don't know about the masochist thing,but I do feel like often If I am miserable,other people should be too. Or,I like the idea of bringing other people down. Yeah.I said it. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's a misplaced sense of competition.
I am trying to change my own patterns,perhaps I have been making things too complicated.
YEah, and I don't think LOVING guy is helping you too much either. I mean, saying you need professinal help... WTF?!?! I don't think it's THAT bad.
I have a friend who's a genuine FATASS, FAT AS ****, who is on anti depressants, trying to loose weight, smokes A LOT if you ask me, and yet, he's outgoing, one of the funnest guys I EVER met, etc etc. He says hi to ALL the girls and is really confident and relaxed if you ask me. But by the way he looks, I BET he has self esteem issues, and I know I'm right! No matter how much he qualifyes himself, it's true, he DOES get angry sometimes, just bursts of anger, etc etc. You get the picture! Are you like this guy? Are you REALLY REALLY messed up? If not, you CAN fix yourself!
You're telling me that you're anxious, you have CONFIDENCE issues. Part of this is that you think that the world is bad, and that everyone is going to hurt you. Look at yourself! You even wish that others loose, so you can WIN, which means you think like there is not enough resources in the world for everyone, so you must take from other people.

My friend... That's IMMATURE! Yo have to look at the world as a place of ABUNDANCE, as it IS. There IS enough approval for everyone. Only then you can truly be happy at other people when they WIN. . To look at world that way, you have to develop confidence. I mean, you ARE the great catch, you KNOW you're going to be sucessful in the future, so why is there a reason to bring others down? There are enough good girls around, so no worry if your friend just got oneAnxiety is what you feel when confidence is taken from you.
What are you scared of? NOTHING trobules you when you're at home, so you're outgoing, etc. But when you're at school, you loose confidence, you get anxious, for no good reason. Remember that anxiety is a signal telling you that you're low on confidence.
Why should we get anxious? For one reason- survival. It's an reflex telling you to run. And are you really under a real threat in school?
Once you realise this, you will have no reason to be anxious anymore.
LOVING guy you're so messed up, lol. You complicate stuff TOO DAMN MUCH man. I don't think you should be using all of that fancy terms. BORING! Your problem is NOT that complicated, and you're NOT THAT messed up. Damn guy! I dunno what to tell you. You talk like a 50 year old. You should be out having FUN instead.
And DON'T offer the advice you think is golden to other people who don't look as messed up as you imo. At least capedcrusader has an idea that he maybe complicating things.
Don't get ME wrong, I KNOW I don't know THAT much about anything tbh, but at least I try not to complicate stuff. Your problem seems to be something basic like low self esteem or low confidence that you complicated to obsession. It's not THAT bad.