In LTR now I feel needy/overanalysing...wtf?

[ljm]

Hi guys,

Been seeing this girl for around 5 months.....
In recent weeks she kept pushing for the relationship, last week it was made offical.

I never liked being "offical" only because it makes me feel like i have a tag on me which says fun is over.

This last week since it has been offical I feel like as though I have been overanalysing **** way too much....almost obsessive or needy like. It's asif it has gone from "entertain her" to "keep her" - Maybe she has pulled back a little because we are now offical??? or maybe I really am just looking into this too much. I don't want this screwing **** up over insecurities.

The whole time before this when i was seeing her i couldnt give a damn....I was just happy to spend time with her and fuk the life out of her.

Now I notice whenever she doesnt call or text(we communicate everyday and see eachother a fair bit, but not for too long) or if a text seems short I start looking into it way too much.....spray me with AFC or whatever the fcuk you guys want.....but seriously WTF why am I finding this to be a problem since we were made "offical" I feel like now I have to walk on eggshells.

At the start it felt like....how can I enjoy her, how can I make her want me, how can I **** her. It was fun, it still is fun! But now I feel all serious and im not liking it because i know it can cause damage....it's like i know what to avoid but im so scared of it im going to do it anyway lol wtf.
Now the last few days I have been feeling like....how can i keep her.

Anybody??? Please help me get this **** out of my mind, it really is not healthy. I want my old mindset back as how i were when I was seeing her......cheers.

 

[The Assistant]

Hi guys,

Been seeing this girl for around 5 months.....
In recent weeks she kept pushing for the relationship, last week it was made offical.

I never liked being "offical" only because it makes me feel like i have a tag on me which says fun is over.

This last week since it has been offical I feel like as though I have been overanalysing **** way too much....almost obsessive or needy like. It's asif it has gone from "entertain her" to "keep her" - Maybe she has pulled back a little because we are now offical??? or maybe I really am just looking into this too much. I don't want this screwing **** up over insecurities.

The whole time before this when i was seeing her i couldnt give a damn....I was just happy to spend time with her and fuk the life out of her.

Now I notice whenever she doesnt call or text(we communicate everyday and see eachother a fair bit, but not for too long) or if a text seems short I start looking into it way too much.....spray me with AFC or whatever the fcuk you guys want.....but seriously WTF why am I finding this to be a problem since we were made "offical" I feel like now I have to walk on eggshells.

At the start it felt like....how can I enjoy her, how can I make her want me, how can I **** her. It was fun, it still is fun! But now I feel all serious and im not liking it because i know it can cause damage....it's like i know what to avoid but im so scared of it im going to do it anyway lol wtf.
Now the last few days I have been feeling like....how can i keep her.

Anybody??? Please help me get this **** out of my mind, it really is not healthy. I want my old mindset back as how i were when I was seeing her......cheers.

If you want to keep fvcking her, then tell her what she wants to hear (tell her you guys are in a relationship), but IN YOUR OWN MIND consider this still a booty call, and feel free to hook up with other women.

It's YOUR life, you enjoy it any way you wish - you aren't married, you are free to do ANYTHING you want.

And don't let pvssified society tell you otherwise!!

 

[Warrior74]

Hi guys,

Been seeing this girl for around 5 months.....
In recent weeks she kept pushing for the relationship, last week it was made offical.

I never liked being "offical" only because it makes me feel like i have a tag on me which says fun is over.

This last week since it has been offical I feel like as though I have been overanalysing **** way too much....almost obsessive or needy like. It's asif it has gone from "entertain her" to "keep her" - Maybe she has pulled back a little because we are now offical??? or maybe I really am just looking into this too much. I don't want this screwing **** up over insecurities.

The whole time before this when i was seeing her i couldnt give a damn....I was just happy to spend time with her and fuk the life out of her.

Now I notice whenever she doesnt call or text(we communicate everyday and see eachother a fair bit, but not for too long) or if a text seems short I start looking into it way too much.....spray me with AFC or whatever the fcuk you guys want.....but seriously WTF why am I finding this to be a problem since we were made "offical" I feel like now I have to walk on eggshells.

At the start it felt like....how can I enjoy her, how can I make her want me, how can I **** her. It was fun, it still is fun! But now I feel all serious and im not liking it because i know it can cause damage....it's like i know what to avoid but im so scared of it im going to do it anyway lol wtf.
Now the last few days I have been feeling like....how can i keep her.

Anybody??? Please help me get this **** out of my mind, it really is not healthy. I want my old mindset back as how i were when I was seeing her......cheers.

LOL. You fell into the trap son. Men get in relationships to keep the sex, women give up the sex to get into a relationship. What is a relationship? What do you get out it besides sex? What does she get out of it? Have you asked yourself any of these questions? What is the logical progression for a relationship, where does it eventually end? Do you want to go down that road with her? Have you asked yourself any of that?

If she stopped having sex with you tomorrow for good, what would you do? What happens if she tapers it off over time? Would you notice? (boiling frogs and all that). What would you do once you noticed?

I say that to say this. What is it that you want? If you want freedom, go be free. Women can't go backwards in a relationship. You can't uncommit. You have two choices, grow a pair of balls and start leading this relationship and running game in your relationship (dont get weak, too late eh? but you can still toughen up), or you can move on. The choice is yours.

 

[ljm]

Well to be honest she puts in as much as me....if not more.

We hang out, bum around, go to new places....all the standard couples stuff you could say.

Running game in what way Warrior?

 

[Warrior74]

Well to be honest she puts in as much as me....if not more.

We hang out, bum around, go to new places....all the standard couples stuff you could say.

Running game in what way Warrior?

What did you do to get her? How did you act then verses how you act now? Are you still ****y, aloof at times, outgoing? Just maintain your frame.

And remember, she was the one who wanted a relationship so make her work for it. Pull back a bit, if your feeling needy, you will eventually start acting needy so cut that sh1t out. Let her be. Let her miss you and worry about you, not you missing her and worrying about her.

The whole time before this when i was seeing her i couldnt give a damn....I was just happy to spend time with her and fuk the life out of her.

Get back to that.

Now I notice whenever she doesnt call or text(we communicate everyday and see eachother a fair bit, but not for too long) or if a text seems short I start looking into it way too much.....spray me with AFC or whatever the fcuk you guys want.....but seriously WTF why am I finding this to be a problem since we were made "offical" I feel like now I have to walk on eggshells.

At the start it felt like....how can I enjoy her, how can I make her want me, how can I **** her. It was fun, it still is fun! But now I feel all serious and im not liking it because i know it can cause damage....it's like i know what to avoid but im so scared of it im going to do it anyway lol wtf.
Now the last few days I have been feeling like....how can i keep her.

Lose that stinking thinking. Let her work to keep you, she's the one that wanted a relationship. Make her work for it. Its only been a week man. Don't worry about it too much. Stop thinking so much and just relax. Do the same things you used to do and you will be find.

As for relationship game. Read one of the greatest articles on a man turning his relationship around. When ever you feel like you might be losing the frame, read this.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/relationship-game-week-a-readers-journey/

 

[ljm]

Thanks Warrior,

I think this is more of a paranoia issue that I must deal with. I am putting my main source of happiness into hearing from her or being around her. I guess im just used to her texting me more during the day and now that has declined in the past few days it's made me worry and taken my focus off other things in my life.

Although she has been very tired/lethargic in the last few days and has not been feeling well when we are together things do feel the same.

Maybe she feels she does not have to pay as much attention to me right now (Possibly feels like she has me covered at the moment?)
Maybe she is just bored with bull**** chatter on the phone and needs more action rather than words from me.

Should I bring this up to her (The decline in contadct throughout the day - I would be going overboard as we do speak a few times a day anyway)? If I was to do so it would be in a way that wouldnt come across as AFC.

 

[Warrior74]

Speaking about it won't solve it. Give her some space. Don't you have any friends? hobbies? Let her contact you.

 

[ljm]

Plenty of other options friends/hobbies etc.....it's just so fuking lame how I let things like this get to me, it makes me not want to continue on with my everyday stuff - it distracts me and messes with my head making think what if this or what if that, maybe it's because of this or maybe it's because of that.....I overanalyse alot if you haven't noticed.

I get like this when it comes to women....I have no problem sleeping with em and so on, it's when it comes to getting serious or letting them in....maybe we are passed the puppy love ****? Maybe I just get to obsessive over it all, thinking like I suddenly own them or that I want to be there main source of happiness because we are an item. Maybe we are just at the next stage of it all

Plus she is always the one to contact me, just lately maybe shes leaving it up to me a little.

MAYBE I should stop being a fukn ***** and just live my own life and let her fit in like I always have without letting her affect me, it's just harder now because of where we are at. Ive shown her I care in ways already I think it's once that I care I get stuck in that way.

 

[The Assistant]

nice to know that like a true little lovestruck chump, you completely ignored my advice....i don't see how you can possibly get better advice on your situation than what I told you. There is nothing to think about - you are supposed to live YOUR life in any way you please....you're a free man, enjoy your goddamn self.