"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
In case you still didn't learn that online dating is for losers
- Thread starter Amazing
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I never have and never will stoop so low to use "online dating". There's no need for it. If one can't find a date in "real life", there's something fundamently wrong with them. Why would one pay to find dates? Because they can't score in real life. Oh sure, people say, "I'm so busy. This is the easiest way to meet someone!" What a load of ****; online dating is merely the last resort for the lonley, inept folk.
Sure, there may be a FEW hot women on those sites (strong emphasis on "few"), but you have to ask the question: Why the **** would hotties resort to online dating? Hot girls get offers in real life day in, day out... So then what's wrong with them?
People joining online dating-sites are in effect saying, "I have no social skills and no social network!" That in itself is undesireable. And I would be cautious in meeting up with any "hotties" from such sites.
Sure, there may be a FEW hot women on those sites (strong emphasis on "few"), but you have to ask the question: Why the **** would hotties resort to online dating? Hot girls get offers in real life day in, day out... So then what's wrong with them?
People joining online dating-sites are in effect saying, "I have no social skills and no social network!" That in itself is undesireable. And I would be cautious in meeting up with any "hotties" from such sites.
That's a "article" from a online dating site (a free one). Basically they are saying why u shouldn't pay for dating sites (which is absolutely true). The pay sites are just businesses set up to pray on lonely and desperate people (kind of like some "PUA gurus"). I however do think free online dating sites could be useful as a additional way to meet people. However they are basically a huge meat market, and unless your pretty good looking you won't have much luck with the few hotties. I've come to realize this since I put up a profile on POF. Most of the messages I get are "your hot" and that's it (I'm pretty good looking, but I have very little game). Although I was surprised that only one or 2 ugly/fat girls contacted me, have had about 8 cute/hot girls msg me on there (although 2 of them have kids, which is disappointing).
I've always felt this way, and I've never tried online dating. I know a few people who have got together online ... but for all of them I totally understand why they gave up on real lifeSchwank said:
I'd love to hear more stories about meeting GREAT women online. The ones that are really hot and most interesting (the ones we should all be going for) ... but I can't imagine they are too common online...
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I think most of these girls are on those sites for one of a couple of reasons (as far as a can tell):
1) they are ugly/fat and arent approached in RL
2) single moms (can still be hot though). Don't know their deal, maybe they don't get out because of the kid.
3) girls that are new to town
4) quiet girls that never go out and mostly stick to their close group of friends
5) girls that are trying it because of someone else. I highly doubt these girls last more than a week on the site, and probably won't meet any guys they like
6) girls that are damaged in someway
1) they are ugly/fat and arent approached in RL
2) single moms (can still be hot though). Don't know their deal, maybe they don't get out because of the kid.
3) girls that are new to town
4) quiet girls that never go out and mostly stick to their close group of friends
5) girls that are trying it because of someone else. I highly doubt these girls last more than a week on the site, and probably won't meet any guys they like
6) girls that are damaged in someway
Naughty Ninja
Banned
Writing about why online dating is for losers to "winners"...free. Getting the "winners" and "losers" to respond?....PRICELESS! This thread is hilarious! Bump.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
There's alot like that. The AW. Those are usually the ones posting in capital letters. "I'M SICK OF THE GAMES/BARS...SICK OF THE DRAMA" I go for those right away with: So when did you and your Games/Drama break up? (You know they just had a blowout with their boyfriend and will run back in a week) They really love the games/drama and are blowing off steam on a random dating website hoping to get some AFC orbiting ego boosting attention. It's easy to see who is dying for attention and who's got their head on straight...as well as by pictures..who's eaten everything in the "all you can eat" buffet on their last date "plastic lobster" decoration included!
I started using online dating recently, I figured it was worth a try....obviously I only use a free site (OKCupid no less). It's definitely NOT a replacement for "real life" game and that's where I do most of my gaming. But hey, I can spend 10-20 minutes a day, when I'm sitting on my ass at home and do a bunch of "approaches." It's just another avenue to meet women.
I've been on 3 coffee dates so far, and all 3 were decent quality. One's personality didn't mesh well with me so that didn't work out, but I've got second dates setup with the other 2. At the same time, I've got other projects that I met in real life in the works. The key to an abundance mentality is having options.....why close yourself off to a low effort option?
Sure a lot of the women online are of poor quality, but you can find some decent quality girls on there, and it takes very little time and effort.
I've been on 3 coffee dates so far, and all 3 were decent quality. One's personality didn't mesh well with me so that didn't work out, but I've got second dates setup with the other 2. At the same time, I've got other projects that I met in real life in the works. The key to an abundance mentality is having options.....why close yourself off to a low effort option?
Sure a lot of the women online are of poor quality, but you can find some decent quality girls on there, and it takes very little time and effort.
SpideySense
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For me internet dating is worthwhile and it's just a tool in the box.
I've had some good relationships and great sex from pay websites. The cost is neither here nor there for me really. I'm on a couple of paysites and I spend about 500 quid a year on them.
Free sites are good in that women can reply for free but quality seems to be a bit lower.
Having said that I have got in to a bad rut at the moment because I'm only doing internet dating and NOT getting out enough. Got to change that.
I've had some good relationships and great sex from pay websites. The cost is neither here nor there for me really. I'm on a couple of paysites and I spend about 500 quid a year on them.
Free sites are good in that women can reply for free but quality seems to be a bit lower.
Having said that I have got in to a bad rut at the moment because I'm only doing internet dating and NOT getting out enough. Got to change that.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
The Mad Ghost
Senior Don Juan
Online dating SUCKS. Its just a meat market for attention *****s, single motherhood and sea whales. I even had a disabled, yes disabled girl blow me out! I know who she is, but I was just talking it up with her, to see if she thought she had some sort of self-worth, the girl actually refused to meet up after a good quality of messages. Not only that, but alot of the Hispanic girls on there actually said they do not date Hispanic guys, I was astounded. Fresh off the boat too ........................Its akin to getting you're ego beaten repeatedly. I met up with one girl off Plenty of Fish, her house stunk off gone -off dried up p!ss. Her house was a state, she STUNK, her baby looked unhealthy, dishes unclean and in the sink. Literally a NIGHTMARE. Yet on her photos, she had taken some of the most genious snapshots I've seen and should be enlisted for the Guisness Book of World Records for facial and body changes.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
So far I'm getting ALOT of replies to my initial copy and paste email. I've got a few that have sent me pictures to email, to my phone after I've gotten their number, and added me to their facebook (alot of pics of them with friends there). Most do have kids. Few in Florida (where I visit alot..will be 4 times this year) One in Cali where my bro lives, and a few in NY. I'll set up times to meet them and if they are nuts, who cares? I'll keep it moving. I see it as an extra tool to meet people I probably would never have met. I also don't get into talking about the typical resume type garbage, that will lay the cards out. So far for about two weeks on it's going pretty good. There are alot of "blue" whales on the POF but who cares? Don't reply to them. When I go out or visit those other places I can meet up with them and or their friends. They may have hot friends, but so far the ones I'm talking to and have seen many pictures of are all pretty hot. If you get all worked up and negative about online dating they can smell it. Keep it light and save that lovey dovey Mr. agreeable with their profile wants and needs to the AFC's. I'm not planning on marrying any of them. You guys make it seem like your desperate and frustrated over the whole thing! And it's only online!
Vanilla
Senior Don Juan
I've been on both sides of it and it is too much work. I feel bad for those who have to pay for it.
I made my profile, sent messages and felt like sh*t when I got nothing other than messages from the manatees. I ended up closing that account and every other free site profiles.
Then out of boredom and curiosity, I did a test run making a fake profile as a female with a unique profile full of random stuff just to see if they would read it first (ex her being 6' tall). Every 5 minutes, maybe less, I would get a message, many canned ones, and only a few unique that actually read it. I just wish that PoF would keep the messages so I could see how many I've gotten in total, I'm sure its in the thousands by now.
If you're good looking and have pictures of you with friends you're much more likely to have females message you, than one self-shot image in the bathroom looking emo.
I made my profile, sent messages and felt like sh*t when I got nothing other than messages from the manatees. I ended up closing that account and every other free site profiles.
Then out of boredom and curiosity, I did a test run making a fake profile as a female with a unique profile full of random stuff just to see if they would read it first (ex her being 6' tall). Every 5 minutes, maybe less, I would get a message, many canned ones, and only a few unique that actually read it. I just wish that PoF would keep the messages so I could see how many I've gotten in total, I'm sure its in the thousands by now.
If you're good looking and have pictures of you with friends you're much more likely to have females message you, than one self-shot image in the bathroom looking emo.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.