Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Impressing a woman with an outfit

BackInTheGame78

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At the end of the day OP, your mindset is all wrong to begin with.

You shouldn't be worried about impressing a woman, THEY should be worried about impressing YOU.

I've worn basketball shorts, a tank top and a backwards baseball hat to first dates before.

You think I gave a damn whether they would be impressed or not? It was hot out and we were doing an activity date, I was dreasing comfortably and they could kick rocks if they didn't like it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

1. Pushups. No excuse about the gym. You do 100 to 200 push ups a day (work up to it) your upper body will develop.

2. Less carbs (way less) more protien in your diet.

3. Quit buying shirts at Walmart. It says cheap and frumpy. Not sexy.

4. No plaid shirts. Plaids are hard to pull off for the fashion impaired. Better to avoid.

5. Robert Graham shirts

6. Allen Edmonds brogues (shoes).

Push ups. Yesterday. Now. Until further notice.
 

Divorced w 3

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Advice from the old lady:

1. Pushups. No excuse about the gym. You do 100 to 200 push ups a day (work up to it) your upper body will develop.

2. Less carbs (way less) more protien in your diet.

3. Quit buying shirts at Walmart. It says cheap and frumpy. Not sexy.

4. No plaid shirts. Plaids are hard to pull off for the fashion impaired. Better to avoid.

5. Robert Graham shirts

6. Allen Edmonds brogues (shoes).

Push ups. Yesterday. Now. Until further notice.
Pushups are an easy way to get the entire body done in one exercise, I would agree. He should pyramid them. 10-20-30-40-50-40-30-20-10 or smaller increments if needed. Do them at the office it’s a chip shot. 60 seconds in between sets he will be done in 10-20 minutes.

He should immediately wear tighter more athletic clothing, but when the physique comes around a little, he will start getting told he looks good and it will push him further.

Should take maybe 4-6 weeks at the most if this is done on a daily basis.

Also, stop eating like a gavoon, and take 5g daily of creatine, 5,000- 10,000 iu daily of d3 and k2 for testosterone and skin, get a good face wash, toner, serum and moisturizer, and ideally hit the sauna 2-4x a week for collagen and hgh

$25 a month maybe all in, for a nearly total physical turnaround
 
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GoodMan32

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No, you’re not a tranny. Just someone who’s too lazy to work out, too timid too approach women and too eager to make excuses.

I mean, give me a fvcking break. You really think that you were born the wrong gender because you’d rather have women approach you? lol. If it was up them, all men would rather be approached by women. If it was up to me, I’d sit on a golden throne and have women lining up about the block for a chance to throw themselves at me. And I’m quite confident that I wasn’t born the wrong gender.

Men approach women not because they like putting themselves out there and facing rejection but because they know that if they don’t, nothing will happen. That’s all there is to it.
A combination of the fact I'd prefer to be approached and the fact I'm shaped like a flat-chested woman.

Then there's the fact romantic contact with a man doesn't disgust me to the same degree it disgusts a lot of other straight men (for example, the reactions I got when I mentioned on a post that I'd rather kiss a man than cross paths with a woman I got rejected by)

So you don't necessarily like approaching a woman; I believe that. But the fact you approach gals goes to show: Your disdain for approaching a woman isn't as strong as mine.

I'm aware nothing (or at least hardly anything) will happen unless I make a move. Yet even though I'd like stuff to happen, I still refuse to make a move on a woman I'm going to cross paths with again. Evidently my desire to avoid possibly crossing paths with a woman I got rejected by is stronger than my desire to possibly get dates/sex from her.
 

GoodMan32

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At the end of the day OP, your mindset is all wrong to begin with.

You shouldn't be worried about impressing a woman, THEY should be worried about impressing YOU.

I've worn basketball shorts, a tank top and a backwards baseball hat to first dates before.

You think I gave a damn whether they would be impressed or not? It was hot out and we were doing an activity date, I was dreasing comfortably and they could kick rocks if they didn't like it.
Ok, I'm going to run with your post.

With your attitude of "I'm going to wear what I like. If the woman doesn't like it, she can gtfo," couldn't it be said that I should do the same (wear what I want, regardless of what a woman thinks)?

If so, I guess the words of the posters telling me to change my wardrobe (in order to impress the ladies) are meaningless.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Thor’s hammer

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A combination of the fact I'd prefer to be approached and the fact I'm shaped like a flat-chested woman.

Then there's the fact romantic contact with a man doesn't disgust me to the same degree it disgusts a lot of other straight men (for example, the reactions I got when I mentioned on a post that I'd rather kiss a man than cross paths with a woman I got rejected by)

So you don't necessarily like approaching a woman; I believe that. But the fact you approach gals goes to show: Your disdain for approaching a woman isn't as strong as mine.

I'm aware nothing (or at least hardly anything) will happen unless I make a move. Yet even though I'd like stuff to happen, I still refuse to make a move on a woman I'm going to cross paths with again. Evidently my desire to avoid possibly crossing paths with a woman I got rejected by is stronger than my desire to possibly get dates/sex from her.
Yes, we all would like to be approached but that is not how life works. You can change your physique by training and right nutrition. Get a PT if you don’t know what to do.

Just bear in mind this: you compete with other men. Those who are willing to put in the work for themselves (looks, money, status, game) will have the upper hand. No amount of bitching and victim mentality will change it.

If you want to become gay, go ahead.
 

The Duke

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Ok, I'm going to run with your post.

With your attitude of "I'm going to wear what I like. If the woman doesn't like it, she can gtfo," couldn't it be said that I should do the same (wear what I want, regardless of what a woman thinks)?

If so, I guess the words of the posters telling me to change my wardrobe (in order to impress the ladies) are meaningless.
Your social skills, seduction skills, awareness, understanding of women, and physique is not anywhere near @BackInTheGame78 's. He can get away with wearing what he wants because he has other qualities to rely on. You don't have that luxury.

You and Corrector are the greatest debaters on this forum. You guys would rather debate why you shouldn't do something, than actually apply the teachings of this forum and do something to improve your life. At the core you don't want to change. Thats the sad part.

Wear what you want, don't improve, and keep banging hookers. <--That's sarcasm
 

SW15

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Your social skills, seduction skills, awareness, understanding of women, and physique is not anywhere near @BackInTheGame78 's. He can get away with wearing what he wants because he has other qualities to rely on. You don't have that luxury.
At the end of the day OP, your mindset is all wrong to begin with.
Both these posters are accurate here.

The OP has to work on mindset and physique first before dealing with outfits. Peacoccking (a maneuver popularized by Mystery & Neil Strauss) in late 1990s/early 2000s is a tactic that can work after mindset is in the right place. Peacoccking is also helped by a great physique.

In terms of looks, money, status, and personality, OP would have to address personality issues first (mindset is a part of that). @The Duke is also making reference to personality factors with social skills, awareness, and understanding of women. This thread has revealed more issues with looks, but those are lesser issues at the moment. Personality is the major factor holding OP back.

In terms of looks, money, status, and personality, looks and money are usually more important factors in attraction and seduction.

Very good looks can also offset personality issues, but the threshold for looks to offset personality issues is going to be rather high.
 

characternote

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Very good looks can also offset personality issues, but the threshold for looks to offset personality issues is going to be rather high.
exactly.

I've had 2 super slayer friends in my life.

The one i'm thinking of was someone who really was very boring indeed. Just didn't really have a personality. But he CLEANED UP with the very hottest girls. But despite being really boring and having no 'game' etc, he DID also seem kind of relaxed and 'confident' (at least in body language) at the same time. I think just as a result of having a lifetime of hot girls throwing themselves at him due to his movie star good looks. He's like the hot girl who never needs to develop a personality.

But I think that (being boring) is different from being considered 'strange'/weird etc. Kinda reminds me of a 'sex and the city' episode (I tihnk?)
where one of the girls was banging some really hot guy who was a dumb as a box or rocks and mega boring etc, but he got a pass due to his looks


And so as someone who certainly thinks looks are a million times more important than 'game', even i'd admit that there are people who are 'off' enough that they will still struggle despite their good looks. My only issue with using this as an argument is that it's just fairly rare. You'd need to have rock bottom social skills and probably a handful of mental issues lol (and so telling someone 'good looks without game is useless' isn't necessarily true at all in my opinion. Only if we define 'without game' as being very very neurodivergent)
 

BackInTheGame78

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Ok, I'm going to run with your post.

With your attitude of "I'm going to wear what I like. If the woman doesn't like it, she can gtfo," couldn't it be said that I should do the same (wear what I want, regardless of what a woman thinks)?

If so, I guess the words of the posters telling me to change my wardrobe (in order to impress the ladies) are meaningless.
If that's actually what you want to wear you might have even more problems than I thought.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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GoodMan32

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Yes, we all would like to be approached but that is not how life works. You can change your physique by training and right nutrition. Get a PT if you don’t know what to do.

Just bear in mind this: you compete with other men. Those who are willing to put in the work for themselves (looks, money, status, game) will have the upper hand. No amount of bitching and victim mentality will change it.

If you want to become gay, go ahead.
You don't "become" gay. You're either gay or you're not.

It would be a lot easier for me if I were gay. Yet I can't help being straight any more than gay guys can help being gay.

By the way, on the topic of making a move on a woman, I go back and forth on whether making more moves would even help. Other than a girl from class I dated for a week in college, expressing interest in a gal I met organically (in other words, non-tech methods) has never gotten me dates (and none of the sex I've had has come from expressing interest in a woman I met organically)

I've had a few other successes from gals I met organically, yet (for the purpose of this discussion) I don't count those (as I didn't make the move; it either came from the woman making the move or it just sort of happened...with neither party officially making the move)
 

Gamisch

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Your social skills, seduction skills, awareness, understanding of women, and physique is not anywhere near @BackInTheGame78 's. He can get away with wearing what he wants because he has other qualities to rely on. You don't have that luxury.

You and Corrector are the greatest debaters on this forum. You guys would rather debate why you shouldn't do something, than actually apply the teachings of this forum and do something to improve your life. At the core you don't want to change. Thats the sad part.

Wear what you want, don't improve, and keep banging hookers. <--That's sarcasm
Certified troll.

He gonna need WAY more than just push ups lol. He needs to be in the gym EVERY DAY and expect no results the first year. Iam not a PT but imo you can't just undo years of being a couch potato and become mister olympia in a few months. 10 years no fitness= ....3 years to get in some decent shape (including changing habits as bad eating patterns.)

Even tho he responds to every post twice, dude also conveniently ignored my post where I told him the exact same . He's a gaslighter, a troll and passive aggressive.

I would be scared that dudes like him are allowed to carry arms. Luckily we don't have that in Europe. Imagine Dude going haywire one day ..
 

Divorced w 3

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Ok, I'm going to run with your post.

With your attitude of "I'm going to wear what I like. If the woman doesn't like it, she can gtfo," couldn't it be said that I should do the same (wear what I want, regardless of what a woman thinks)?

If so, I guess the words of the posters telling me to change my wardrobe (in order to impress the ladies) are meaningless.
I have brought women back to an empty apartment, literally with nothing in the living room but a fold out card table, and my bed in the master bedroom, and was told that the floor had kids toothpaste on it and that it looked like a frat house and this woman still had sex with me, knowing full well prior to meeting me my situation as a separated married man. Before you call her whatever name is coming to mind, know that she was 7years younger than me, 8/10, tall, and a practicing attorney at a major law firm. The man you are quoting is entirely right. You are operating with personally limiting beliefs. The obstacles are within you. I tell you anything is possible.
 

SW15

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He gonna need WAY more than just push ups lol. He needs to be in the gym EVERY DAY and expect no results the first year. Iam not a PT but imo you can't just undo years of being a couch potato and become mister olympia in a few months. 10 years no fitness= ....3 years to get in some decent shape (including changing habits as bad eating patterns.)
It's going to be a combination of diet and exercise. I think the push ups advice is good advice as a starting point. It's going to take a lot more than that. It might not take 3 years but it would be a lengthy process.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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GoodMan32

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Your social skills, seduction skills, awareness, understanding of women, and physique is not anywhere near @BackInTheGame78 's. He can get away with wearing what he wants because he has other qualities to rely on. You don't have that luxury.

You and Corrector are the greatest debaters on this forum. You guys would rather debate why you shouldn't do something, than actually apply the teachings of this forum and do something to improve your life. At the core you don't want to change. Thats the sad part.

Wear what you want, don't improve, and keep banging hookers. <--That's sarcasm
I'm making baby steps.

These past few months, I've started moving in the right direction.

exactly.

I've had 2 super slayer friends in my life.

The one i'm thinking of was someone who really was very boring indeed. Just didn't really have a personality. But he CLEANED UP with the very hottest girls. But despite being really boring and having no 'game' etc, he DID also seem kind of relaxed and 'confident' (at least in body language) at the same time. I think just as a result of having a lifetime of hot girls throwing themselves at him due to his movie star good looks. He's like the hot girl who never needs to develop a personality.

But I think that (being boring) is different from being considered 'strange'/weird etc. Kinda reminds me of a 'sex and the city' episode (I tihnk?)
where one of the girls was banging some really hot guy who was a dumb as a box or rocks and mega boring etc, but he got a pass due to his looks


And so as someone who certainly thinks looks are a million times more important than 'game', even i'd admit that there are people who are 'off' enough that they will still struggle despite their good looks. My only issue with using this as an argument is that it's just fairly rare. You'd need to have rock bottom social skills and probably a handful of mental issues lol (and so telling someone 'good looks without game is useless' isn't necessarily true at all in my opinion. Only if we define 'without game' as being very very neurodivergent)
I like to think of myself as above average in terms of looks.

Are my social skills rock bottom? Possibly (at least in the context of getting a woman)

And I certainly have mental issues galore.
 

GoodMan32

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If that's actually what you want to wear you might have even more problems than I thought.
After hearing some feedback on the thread, I agree the shirt in the picture isn't one of my more flattering shirts.

A dress shirt tucked into jeans is a staple for me, however (I promise plenty of my shirts fit/look better than that one)

Certified troll.

He gonna need WAY more than just push ups lol. He needs to be in the gym EVERY DAY and expect no results the first year. Iam not a PT but imo you can't just undo years of being a couch potato and become mister olympia in a few months. 10 years no fitness= ....3 years to get in some decent shape (including changing habits as bad eating patterns.)

Even tho he responds to every post twice, dude also conveniently ignored my post where I told him the exact same . He's a gaslighter, a troll and passive aggressive.

I would be scared that dudes like him are allowed to carry arms. Luckily we don't have that in Europe. Imagine Dude going haywire one day ..
I'm no couch potato. Simply from riding public transportation, I get a decent amount of exercise. I'm also known to do a hike every now and then.

I'm legally prohibited (for a lifetime) from owning firearms by the way.
 

GoodMan32

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I mean there are a lot of gay guys pretty confident that "one night with me" will change a straight guys mind...maybe OP hasn't run into one yet :lol: :lol:
I've run into some.

I declined their offer. I simply have no desire to do a romp with a man.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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