important criteria before marriage

[SgtSplacker]

This might be a slight tangent off where you wanted to go with this thread but I make a point to say this any chance I get:

Before marrying a woman, do a freaking background check! I married a woman who was a bigamist and already married to two other dudes when she married me. Full story here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=214228


Not only that, but when I did a background check too late, after the fact, I found out she had also spent time in jail for fraud that she never told me about, found out that she had been sued 4-5 times for scamming people out of money, found out she had a long history of calling the cops on her exes when they had fights (something she also did to me), she had lived over 100 places in the past 20 years, a few other big things.

I had NO idea who I "married" until it was too late.

And at the time I was a freaking cop and later a cybercrime detective. Of all people to have this happen to, I should have known better.

Never again will I marry without a full hard core background check.

Man, I can't stress this enough. Last year I had a very similar situation. It was terrible.

 

[RickTheToad]

not really if you did before the marriage, hence the trustworth, just to you know I have a cousin who are kinda divorcing her guy(works for law case), thing is the dude is already saying half her mom house would be his, so they are passing everything in the name of my other cousin her brother, who like me are not interested in marrying in this decade at least, because she know he wouldn't F her up later, this case do work because both parts (on our family side at least) are kinda trustworth, that is actually my father family side, my mom side I wouldn't trust, on then I almost could (still don't but that is another case).

Depends. There is something called co-mingling of assets. So, let's say you buy a house and your GF becomes your wife and she moves in. She then upgrades things and adds value. A decade later you two divorce. She can make a claim that she added value to the house. The same could be said to investment properties and such. One would need a pre-nup, separate bank accounts as well as a cohabitation agreement which may need to be renewed every few years or it can be invalidated. Let's just face the facts.. The laws are written against the person with a higher income or more assets. In addition, just because someone has more assets, doesn't mean they are rich. Most people have mortgages on their homes and own anywhere from 5% - 25% of equity. If one has to buy the other out of their "marital share", that can be expensive. Example. Let's say you have a home that's worth 500k and put 20% down. So, you have around 100k in equity. Your new wife moves in and in a few years she decorates, new kitchen (where she doesn't cook) or whatever. She then files for divorce in five years. She may now have built up a 10% share of your equity that you have the opportunity to buy her out. Yes, you have to buy her out of your (now her's 50% share - community property) of your 22%. So, to get full ownership back of your equity, you would have to pay her 10% of whatever your equity in the home is after appraisal (which they will do in discovery). So, let's say it's grown in value over the years to 550,000, and you own 22%. 550,000 / 22% = 121,000. She can claim, let's say for round numbers, 10% of that 550,000. So, to buy her out, you'd have to give her $55,000 tax free. Please note, she's never put a dime into the home. Is that fair?

Let's not even mention the family law attorneys at 400.00 + per hour. I am sorry, but marriage is just not worth the risk these days. Yes, you can transfer all your assets to a trust, sign a cohab and pre-nup agreement, but you still will have to pay the lawyers to battle it out. It's just not worth the hassle. Life is tough enough without fighting the State and your ex-spouse to keep what was never theirs.

 

[Alvafe]

Depends. There is something called co-mingling of assets. So, let's say you buy a house and your GF becomes your wife and she moves in. She then upgrades things and adds value. A decade later you two divorce. She can make a claim that she added value to the house. The same could be said to investment properties and such. One would need a pre-nup, separate bank accounts as well as a cohabitation agreement which may need to be renewed every few years or it can be invalidated. Let's just face the facts.. The laws are written against the person with a higher income or more assets. In addition, just because someone has more assets, doesn't mean they are rich. Most people have mortgages on their homes and own anywhere from 5% - 25% of equity. If one has to buy the other out of their "marital share", that can be expensive. Example. Let's say you have a home that's worth 500k and put 20% down. So, you have around 100k in equity. Your new wife moves in and in a few years she decorates, new kitchen (where she doesn't cook) or whatever. She then files for divorce in five years. She may now have built up a 10% share of your equity that you have the opportunity to buy her out. Yes, you have to buy her out of your (now her's 50% share - community property) of your 22%. So, to get full ownership back of your equity, you would have to pay her 10% of whatever your equity in the home is after appraisal (which they will do in discovery). So, let's say it's grown in value over the years to 550,000, and you own 22%. 550,000 / 22% = 121,000. She can claim, let's say for round numbers, 10% of that 550,000. So, to buy her out, you'd have to give her $55,000 tax free. Please note, she's never put a dime into the home. Is that fair?

Let's not even mention the family law attorneys at 400.00 + per hour. I am sorry, but marriage is just not worth the risk these days. Yes, you can transfer all your assets to a trust, sign a cohab and pre-nup agreement, but you still will have to pay the lawyers to battle it out. It's just not worth the hassle. Life is tough enough without fighting the State and your ex-spouse to keep what was never theirs.

oh but i'm on the line of never marrying, I don't see any advantage to me doing so, but unfortunally not everyone see that and then we need to make then move to not be raped in court

 

[SgtSplacker]

oh but i'm on the line of never marrying, I don't see any advantage to me doing so, but unfortunally not everyone see that and then we need to make then move to not be raped in court

So true...