Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Imblanced/Balanced Relationships

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,524
Reaction score
11,449
Out of all the girls that were really into you, were you into them as much as they were you?

Its very rare for me to have a 50/50 relationship with a girl, and if I do it doesn't last long......she usually loses interest. I've had many that were 60/40 with me caring less about the relationship. These girls tried so hard in an attempt to get more out of me and those seem to last until I ended them.

It always comes down to one caring more and the other not being completely satisfied for whatever reason, some having nothing to do with the other partner.

So if you want a stable committed relationship from a woman, is the only way you are going to achieve this by caring less about it than she does? My gut knows the answer to this, but my heart doesn't like it. I've been Mr. Challenging for many years. I entirely aware with how to keep a woman chasing the carrot. I get tired of having to play that game or any form of mental manipulation although I am very competent at that its not who I am as a person. I feel like its a form of a facade. A necessary one in the world we live in with greener grass a click away.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,636
Reaction score
1,366
She wants to feel she outcompeted the other plates for main plate status. We DJs are the prize, right? If she senses your desire for her more than hers, she self-corrects or lowers her IL. This can either be a conscious or subconscious effort.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
She wants to feel she outcompeted the other plates for main plate status. We DJs are the prize, right? If she senses your desire for her more than hers, she self-corrects or lowers her IL. This can either be a conscious or subconscious effort.
Then she wins and you drop plates then what?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,636
Reaction score
1,366
Then she wins and you drop plates then what?
Natural progression toward a LTR. Maintaining IL with consistent and improving SMV. Like Raiders says above, we get complacent, they start window shopping for a new branch or begin entertaining the orbiters showing persistence.

I believe she needs to know she can easily be replaced to desire to stay. Once she feels she can do better than her partner, the above scenario gets initiated.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,714
Reaction score
2,659
Age
45
Location
Canada
Idk if i agree
My last relationship 10y was about 70/30 or 65/35 but that was how much she was into me.

Power balance however shifted at the end its was eazy 40/60 because of kids mostly

And after a while i could see her resenting me for not putting more into her.
Maybe i was too much on the otherside and was often way too indiferent to her.

Anyway in the end i broke up with her was tired of her talking back to me and not being respecful

Now i can see her coming back to me but im not going back that road.Never
 

Chi Town

Banned
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
661
Reaction score
694
Age
33
Her attraction levels are what keeps her intuned into the relationship, if your a attractive guy then you won't have to worry about all the other things.

It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with her liking you more or who cares the least, those are mot issues, it's about how attractive you are to her, that is what will make her stay. Her attraction to her man is predominantly based on his behavior and the way he carries himself around her.

Everything else just falls into place
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Her attraction levels are what keeps her intuned into the relationship, if your a attractive guy then you won't have to worry about all the other things.

It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with her liking you more or who cares the least, those are mot issues, it's about how attractive you are to her, that is what will make her stay. Her attraction to her man is predominantly based on his behavior and the way he carries himself around her.

Everything else just falls into place
Well at least there's one smart guy here...

More likely speaking from experience.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,524
Reaction score
11,449
Her attraction levels are what keeps her intuned into the relationship, if your a attractive guy then you won't have to worry about all the other things.

It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with her liking you more or who cares the least, those are mot issues, it's about how attractive you are to her, that is what will make her stay. Her attraction to her man is predominantly based on his behavior and the way he carries himself around her.

Everything else just falls into place
Define "attractive guy".
 
Top