im such a mess.. i know it why cant i help it (great read for newbs)

[maosrdbf]

DON JUANS CANT VENT TO PEOPLE. **** I GUESS I HAVE TO VENT HERE. and this is also a great lesson for newbs.

I havent posted in 6-7 years.

In my teens i wanted to break out of the nerdy lonely life so badly. 4 things helped change me: 1. car 2. gym 3. job 4. sosuave

As i suspect most of you are like, i am good at reading and absorbing then applying information. Knowing that i never actually took notes or followed rules directly, just kinda read a lot and used what i remembered. Im 24 now. I guess 17-21 i was a half dj. Now im not only an afc but i became a creeper.

I got a 5 year relationship not too long after imade changes. We would be on and off but id totally run that relationship, she was my *****. I finally ended things with her because i felt so bad for making her miserable i decided to not be selfish and let her be. Btw in case it matters, im up to like 13-14 girls right now, tho i tell people im in my 20s haha.

I HAVE NEVER ADMITTED THIS STUFF TO ANYONE:

To help me get over her and not want to go back i went onto plentyoffish last year cause my friends were getting lotta girls off it. My one friend in his own way used "natural direct game" and it worked for him often. I used that freshman year of college it was great.

So i stumbled across this HOT HOT HOT puerto rican chick (why are ricans, columbians, and dominicans so hot??). We vibed like crazy.. we spent weeks/months talking on the phone non stop all day all night. Really.. we never got off the phone id do work and have her on the phone. I guess i just ignored the obvious ljbf that was coming, and this is why: she would always tell me how she really wanted me how she loved me and wed be togeter eventually and waiting will be worth it. In the back of my mind im thinking, yeah sure you're probably going to keep me around until you find your next guy. It was obvious we didnt even live near each other im not that stupid. But i clinged onto her anyway and just kept getting deeper and deeper into it.

What happened was that everytime we made plans from week #1, shed cancel on me. Typical right. I always wanted to believe thered be a point where shed actually hang out with me. After all, just ONE TIME and i can get waht i want right? I wasnt shy with her understand this: i would be very sexual and forward there was no direct ljbf. I would accuse her of not really having interest in me and shed deny it no matter how hard id push her to just admit it.

She said she has no intention of being with anyone else btw because when she meets someone she knows is worth it she waits. And in case you're curious i later find out from her that the reason we got off to that kind of a start was because her ex raped her and abused her and threatened her not to see me because he found out apparently.

I was so ashamed of all this id lie to everyone who knew me and say i chilled with her and ****ed her. i honestly think i was going through my own depression for other reasons, which caused me to cling to her even though i knew better. Isnt that the worst? knowing you're doing something wrong and not being able to stop?

To play her game i thought i could manipulate her into seeing me. Believe me newbies i tried EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE. Most of you guys get a straight ljbf. I talk to this girl today she still insists that she really did want me and wasnt fronting. Id cut her off with talking, like talk to her much less, thinkin shed miss me and give me what i want to get waht she wants. Made her resent me. In fact it made her feel like i wasnt there for her when she needed me (the things going on with her ex).

In the meantime she starts talking to another guy (now we're zooming forward to spring this year) over a few months while we're distancing and eventually ****s him after a huge fight we have. The next few months is spent her strugging to decide if she wants me or him cause she just "realized" she can like two guys at once. plus she was so angry cause at that point she knew i slept with other girls (particularly my ex). so again i thought id be smart and reverse this and make her believe i didn actually **** anyone.

I had my ex even pretend like she didnt know this girl was listening in on our call when i asked her to tell me if she ever slept with me or not in the past year (to which she says no of course). So then she wasnt so angry at me anymore and supposedly stopped seeing him so that she can try to be with me. Of course still a year later its all about her having to "get herself to be able to even see me" WE HAVE NOT EVEN HUNG OUT ONCE. Id tell her everything guys trust me.. that i loved her that i cared about her, wanted to marry her, etc. It bit me backin the ass so hard because she then saw me as a liar and a cheater. My obsession with getting her to be with me caused all of this. She saw right through me because of it.

whats the point of all this? i guess the bottom line is if you cant have normal interaction with a girl the way we understand it to be, from the very beginning, it will never be right. It can only spiral downwards, never up.

i knew this, i ignored it. now im miserable and have to get over it.

in almost every relationship someone is on the **** end of the stick guys. in my first one it was my ex. then it was me. this community is brilliant in that it protects guys from being on that end. its just like those women communities where they try to protect themselves from men.

thats why djs might be looked down upon by others, but in actuality we arent out to put girls on the **** end of the stick, just trying not to be. all the major players in this community say that and its true.

non-newbs do me a favour please. even after going through all this material again, dj bible, online vids, mystery and others' old archives, etc etc.. i still ended up sending her a txt last night after we agreed to stop communicating (because i mainly stopped after reading here again). it caused a whole bad fight today and its like i cant help but get sucked in i just feel like **** and she wins so ****ing bad. I GET IT I WONT WIN EVER WITH THIS. But please guys just beat it into my brain that i have no shot with this girl... ever.

 

[maosrdbf]

btw i should add that i met her after 2 years straight of being depressed not ****ing anyone but my ex. You really should never stop gaming people until ur done for good. it will hurt your ego and make you jump on quick opportunities.. totally against what a dj should do.

the other thing i forgot to mention was that i let myserlf get into it so deep. its not like i couldnt get other girls..I had sex with 5 girls since meeting her and i still fet bad. nothing helped. i tried hard to meet someone else to get over her.

i guess the lesson from that is that you shouldnt assume other girls will help you. its your state of mind that needs to change. again im only reiterating whats said here over and over again.

my biggest problem was (funny how i said "was" right) my ego and i just couldnt let go of the fact that she wasnt going to work out. this lasted a year and change. i would say i wish i could take it back but truth be told, it lead me to the research i been doing and to this post and to the next 100 girls i plan to **** in the next year.

 

[12ld34]

I have a few questions for you... Do you believe she was playing you? You said you lied about ****ing girls do you think she lied too?

 

[maosrdbf]

I did think she was playing me, often i still do.. but im comfortable with knowing ill never know ha.

I never thought she lied about ****in other guys till i saw she could actually do it. After that (and in any relationship this will happen thats why they suck cause most of us think eventually it ALWAYS happens) it all goes downhill and everytme you dont hearfrom that girl you think shes got a **** in her.

Othello: definetely never loved her. it was a pathetic attempt at manipulating her into seeing me. i saw her as a goal i needed to accomplish, im very ambitious, especially in business. Sometimes i mix business and social situations, not good. Again, its a huge EGO problem.

Truth is, i actually think she liked me way more than i ever liked her. i fed more into the attention addiction you were describing, coming off a 5 year relationshipand all...

 

[maosrdbf]

I have a few questions for you... Do you believe she was playing you? You said you lied about ****ing girls do you think she lied too?

Hey, i see thats your first post i suspect that for some reason my situation sticks out to you. if you need help with anything talk to me man i can save you alot of stress.

 

[maosrdbf]

It's good to be ambitious and think highly of yourself. Maybe just you need to learn how to let things go and move on then?

Definetely have problems letting ago. It has cursed me a long time now... funny that i used to play poker for money. I have worked on many of my self and social "dislikes" over the years. Improved greatly. This is just another one im working on, but im prettysure lesson learned after this.

Thanks for your input bro.

 

[maosrdbf]

tilting? actually, i dont tilt -- i am very disciplined. If its about making money i follow my principles. Plus i see so many friends lose alot of money because they go on tilt, its sad.

But your example is still right on the money. I tilted with her! know what happens when you tilt in poker? you lose your entire bankroll by the end of the night!

 

[12ld34]

Im pasted needing help lol. The thing is I was kinda in the same stop as you but mine went differently. . I tried the games on her but inturn realized she wasnt as bad as I thought. I think were you messed up was switching up on her to much. I mean how could you expect her to want to see you after the different **** you may have pulled. btw how the hell did you get your ex to lie and save your ass

 

[maosrdbf]

Im pasted needing help lol. The thing is I was kinda in the same stop as you but mine went differently. . I tried the games on her but inturn realized she wasnt as bad as I thought. I think were you messed up was switching up on her to much. I mean how could you expect her to want to see you after the different **** you may have pulled. btw how the hell did you get your ex to lie and save your ass

To be honest, i messed up way before that by not going NC from the second time she cancelled on me. Everything after just kinda dragged on.

As for my ex.. alot of my friends ask me how i got her to do the things she did for me. i didnt mention before either that she had a bf for 1 year at the time, the guy she dated after me. funny how she still chases me though by hitting me up even thouh i tell her off each time.

 

[12ld34]

Dude I understand your not wanting to let go. Im very much the type that would hate to walk away with out getting what I wanted but dude you got to keep your sanity.. Plus if she was truthful even a little then you know she didn't win anything. She probs just wants a family with sum sap.

 

[maosrdbf]

Yeah she always tried to make it clear that she did not win anything from this outcome. I guess both her and i agreed that things would have worked out fine if not for her ex. Bad start = bad everything.

thanks for understanding man. im very persistent and usually live with the belief that most people need to be taught, that i can accomplish anything. I just hate giving up! like you said though, not worth it at the expense of my sanity.

 

[ATX1001]

Wat?

You never met this girl? Does she live near you? Ask for her address and drive over! If she doesn't want to give out her address after so long, cya later.

How do you know she wasn't a fat chick with a ****? You've invested waaay too much time and energy into this...

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

we spent weeks/months talking on the phone non stop all day all night. Really.. we never got off the phone id do work and have her on the phone

There you go. Don't blame her, you were her constant friend that was no threat because you were far away.

Don't do that. No matter what you did, no matter how smooth, that was the torpedo that sunk the ship.

a) there was nothing left to discover

b) she got all the attention she wanted

Women are masters at getting much more information than you think they are by what you're saying because you get almost hypnotized and stuff just starts leaking out. Women's brains are somehow designed to be able to file certain things you say and then an hour later something will provoker her to say something at an angle to that and she gets another piece to the puzzle.

Any woman is a better natural detective than even the best man. They're built by DNA to figure out what they are dealing with because the cost of pregnancy is so high. The answer, don't talk much. Limit the subjects you'll talk about and don't stray outside of them. Move quickly to meeting them in person.

As far as the attention thing, when you're doing that you're unloading that burden from the man she'll be with. He gets to fark her brains out and not hear any biatching because she unloads all her stuff slowly on guys who will talk to her. I never hear "I wish you'd want to listen to my blah blah blah girl stuff". That's already taken care of.

This is why I like girls who have guys that talk to them a lot and whenever they want. They're keeping her busy as well as unloading her so I can reload her in my own way :rockon:

 

[maosrdbf]

There you go. Don't blame her, you were her constant friend that was no threat because you were far away.

Don't do that. No matter what you did, no matter how smooth, that was the torpedo that sunk the ship.

a) there was nothing left to discover

b) she got all the attention she wanted

Women are masters at getting much more information than you think they are by what you're saying because you get almost hypnotized and stuff just starts leaking out. Women's brains are somehow designed to be able to file certain things you say and then an hour later something will provoker her to say something at an angle to that and she gets another piece to the puzzle.

Any woman is a better natural detective than even the best man. They're built by DNA to figure out what they are dealing with because the cost of pregnancy is so high. The answer, don't talk much. Limit the subjects you'll talk about and don't stray outside of them. Move quickly to meeting them in person.

As far as the attention thing, when you're doing that you're unloading that burden from the man she'll be with. He gets to fark her brains out and not hear any biatching because she unloads all her stuff slowly on guys who will talk to her. I never hear "I wish you'd want to listen to my blah blah blah girl stuff". That's already taken care of.

This is why I like girls who have guys that talk to them a lot and whenever they want. They're keeping her busy as well as unloading her so I can reload her in my own way :rockon:

Thanks man, very good and true input.

You will notice that right after that quote i said "obvious ljbf." Trust me, at the time i knew i was doing that but i just got out of doing that with soemone for 5 years and she was always there for me. Its an addiction. Wasnt fair to her though so i knew no way of cutting her off other than to replace that. I used the new girl just as much as she used me. Isnt that sick?

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Thanks man, very good and true input.

You will notice that right after that quote i said "obvious ljbf." Trust me, at the time i knew i was doing that but i just got out of doing that with soemone for 5 years and she was always there for me. Its an addiction. Wasnt fair to her though so i knew no way of cutting her off other than to replace that. I used the new girl just as much as she used me. Isnt that sick?

Not at all. That's the basis of everything we do. From the instant you are born. Moms want babies to take care of and babies need moms to take care of them. It all flows from there. You just need to find the right "using" exchange for both your benefit, instead of a destructive one or one that wastes time in your life.

Once you figure out that everybody uses everybody, and get completely comfortable with it, you'll feel a lot better about everything and relax. It just IS.

Everyone wants things. In fact, David DeAngelo said it best "a woman can be seen as no more than the sum of her wants and needs". If you pay attention and dig around for what she wants and needs (in deeply, her actions, NOT WORDS), and you would like providing those and what she has is good for what you want, you're all set.

Instead of talking so much, pay attention to little things she's doing. Like as an example, if you want to watch some DVDs, have her pick them up and tell her to pick out whatever she wants. Look at the common theme of the movies. A while back a girl (friend) I knew picked out 4 movies, two of which were about friends who end up getting together. She told me she couldn't decide so she just grabbed what looked ok.

Almost everything a woman does is for a reason and part of some goal. What they say is mostly for effect or to create a reaction and isn't really worth analyzing. There's nothing wrong with that, they're made that way.

 

[maosrdbf]

I understand. It pisses me off knowing these things and still she can always get a reaction out of me. Well not anymore..

Your signature says it all. I have no idea how to deal with this situation, best to just avoid it. With this logic it should have been avoided over a year ago.

 

[seano99]

my biggest problem was (funny how i said "was" right) my ego and i just couldnt let go

when i read your post this is what stood out to me man so i wanted to bring that to your attention.

you are right here. and it's your ego that still wont let you move on.

now i'm thinking the key to moving on is to get your ego to allow you.

i'm not entirely sure how to do that, hopefully someone could point us to the right direction?

think of her taking a sh!t, imagine she was 200kg. then go NC!

good luck

 

[maosrdbf1]

10 posts/24 hours even in my own thread? Could there be a more retarded restriction? I doubt there are that many flamers.

So guys get this: as part of my moving on process from this whole ordeal, i not only vented the siatuation to you guys, but i actually sent her an email with my post in it, at the time that i posted it yesterday (i changed like 3 sentences, little sugarcoating i guess).

I included the title in my email intentionally. I left it open to see if she would, let alone knew how to, find this post! I guess google is doing a good job of getting their features known to general public now, because she found it and texts me a long thing this morning.

Btw at this point you're asking why the **** did i send her that email in the first place. It may come off as me still struggling to move on, which is true. Mainly, and of course i dont blame her, she doesnt believe anything i tell her. I just wanted her to have some truth for her own sake.

So she texts me this whole elaborate text saying how bad i am for doing that and that she will always hate me blah blha nothing different from what im used to hearing. Something i found unsual though is that she mentioned that she never really ****ed that guy i was talking about, and that he was the actual "ljbf." She would vent her problems onto him and somehow im the main man (that never get to look into her eyes once). Haha since shes reading this ill hold back my thoughts.. ill let you guys address that!

 

[maosrdbf1]

btw guys some advice, which goes a little against dj image (but its not like we're a ****ing cult anyway its simply about mentality, not actions):

you dont need to sort through thousands of girls to find the one you want. i know mystery, tyler, etc would talk about how they had to take their pick from a huge selection. Well thats exageration for sure! 6 billion people on the planet, odds are you will find someone compatible quite often, especially a dj that meets alot of chicks.

The problem is most people, especially young girls, are impatient and worry about that "biological clock." Other people have that problem of lonliness so the first person they meet will seem to be the one.

Further, everyone is different and i read somewhere, maybe in the bible, how like plants, every animal is X% male, X% female. Some guys can be 85% male 15% female, and some are 60/40. Whats the point? a dj isnt someone who ****s mad girls, its someone who gets what he wants from the opposite sex, again due to the correct mentality. mystery enjoyed the game and reading his archives, it seemed that his satisfaction came from being able to seduce the most beautiful women on the planet. me? i get satisfaction from having a cutie (one that i connect with) over to cuddle with on most nights. this kind of satisfaction contradicts a satisfaction i would get from sleeping with a new girl on those nights instead.

my point is, there may be no such thing as love, but you can easily know if you have a connection with someone. i connected with her, thats why i was able to cling to a girl i never met. if she and i had met under normal circumstances, she could have easily killed the dj in me for good (technically she only killed it temporarily ha).