"I'm seeing other guys, just wanted to be honest"

[Solomon]

This is a spinoff thread from the DonS Lay Report

If a chick told you she was "spinning other plates" on the first date, would you be cool with this or no?

In the Past I would have been like hell no, however these days it's a case by case basis.

Thoughts?

 

[The Bat]

I think a main question should be why would it be a case by case basis? Are there examples where it would be ok, on the first date, and are there examples where it would not be ok, on the first date?

Barring extreme examples such as the one that DonS had to unfortunately experience (or maybe fortunate because he did lay the broad next week haha), I think it would be pretty difficult to differentiate between when it would be ok and when it wouldn't be ok.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

I don't see why this would come up on a first date, and if it did, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

 

[Nutz]

I guess it depends on how she frames it. Nobody wants to hear "I'm ****ing 4 other guys, so hope you don't mind". But "I'm not looking for anything serious right now." is perfectly acceptable. With the latter it's assumed she'd got **** on call and has a rather ample supply of guys stroking it out with her.



<Soapbox>
And what's with the censored words? This site is for men, not thin skinned girly overzealous politically correct conservatives. We should be able to converse freely and openly.
</Soapbox>

 

[Hooligan Harry]

No woman is going to admit that if she has high interest. Assume that she has a few men chasing after her and she is probably banging one or two of them. Its almost a given if she is easy on the eyes. If she does like you though she is not going to risk the chance of you walking which means she will be discreet about the fact that she is/was dating other men.

 

[Mr. Me]

Depending on why she says it but yeah I'd be okay with it. I'd expect she's not living the life of a hermit.

Is she saying it to make you jealous? Is she saying it to showboat how popular she thinks she is? Is she running her mouth about these other guys? Or is she saying it matter of factly to state her position? The first three would be strikes against her in my book, but the last one would be cool with me.

I think any guy who'd freak about a new woman stating she dates other men, expecting some gal he barely knows and just started dating to free herself of all other romantic interests and commit herself to just seeing him would be a rather issue riddled guy. I remember one guy on another site saying just that, that he expected a woman to clear the field to date him, to "give it the best chance of working out". This is the "I only date one man/woman at a time" mentality. I see it as controlling. IOW, the person is really saying "I have a fear that I don't have the right stuff to get a woman romantically involved with me, so I feel I need all the help I can get, which means getting rid of the competition and having her agree to be exclusively involved with me from the onset."

 

[azanon]

"I'm seeing other guys, just wanted to be honest"

This is a spinoff thread from the DonS Lay Report

If a chick told you she was "spinning other plates" on the first date, would you be cool with this or no?

In the Past I would have been like hell no, however these days it's a case by case basis.

Thoughts?

Would I be cool if she says she's not exclusive with me already before I've even finished "a first date"??? If i were single, I'd also be seeing several other chicks myself. TBH, I can't even imagine why you'd have issues with such an obvious s*** test. In short, if it gets you all worked up, you failed it.

I didn't ask for exclusiveness for my (now) wife until after we had been dating a good 3 months or so, or thereabouts. Prior to that, I honestly could have not cared less.

 

[Nelford]

I wouldn't care because I would be doing the same thing. I always think girls are seeing other dudes anyway plus whats the other dude have to do with me. She is chilling with me at the moment.

 

[squirrels]

None of my business, as long as she's being "safe".

I've had women tell me this before, though, as an attempt to make me jealous and get me to commit.

If there's no ring on her finger, assume it could happen at any time.

 

[vitor]

I dunno I would not be cool with it. I would rather not know. I guess my idea is that it is ok for me to do this but if you do it is not. Why she told you this if off. My question is with 1 in 3 people having an STD and she is dating 3-4 other guys which one is giving her herpes who is going to eventully give it to you?

My 2nd guess is she thinks she is better than you and wants you to know that she has options and you better bring the A Game if you want to hit..

 

[jophil28]

No woman is going to admit that if she has high interest.

True, but only half the whole story...a sane woman who has moderate to high interest in you will be on her best behavior and therefore would not say something like this , EXCEPT if she is somewhere along the attention wh0re/BPD /HPD spectrum.
IF she is a member of that special group of delightful creatures, then saying that she is "seeing" other guys makes perfect sense. THis is YOUR introduction to her pathological need to mindfvck you at every opportunity,starting on your first date.
She is trying to set up a situation in which she expects you to COMPETE for her affections. SHe has placed herself up on a pedestal and will readily play one man off against the others,much to her daily entertainment. She will lie to you and cheat on you with her other male "friends" and get you to jump though hoops after she has tied you up in knots with her BS.

If the OP is asking because he had a recent experience on a first date, then, proceed at your own peril ...Take it from one who has played that game with a Cluster B wacko and lost.

 

[russell]

No woman is going to admit that if she has high interest. Assume that she has a few men chasing after her and she is probably banging one or two of them. Its almost a given if she is easy on the eyes. If she does like you though she is not going to risk the chance of you walking which means she will be discreet about the fact that she is/was dating other men.

not entirely true, but he has a good point.

 

[speed dawg]

I don't know why anyone, male or female, even approaches this topic when on a date. That's the last thing I talk about. I am a very private person though.

 

[Colossus]

I don't know why anyone, male or female, even approaches this topic when on a date. That's the last thing I talk about. I am a very private person though.

Agreed. It's kind of assumed.

If she outright told me I would next.

If she outright asked me I would next.

 

[Heretolearn]

someone mentioned as long as she is safe?

How do you know? Would you bring it up and if so how/when?

 

[fertileTurtle]

Who gives a fuk. Why is this even being discussed?

 

[decades]

she is telling you that she's "easy". now you have to adjust. she's not a good girl and you have to act accordingly. go in for the close quickly and if it's not there, move on immediately and don't mess with the AW.

 

[Mr. Me]

I remember once some chick long ago telling me about the date activities other guys treat her to, you know, the "style to which she's been accustomed to" speech. I got the sense she was a golddigger and giving me examples of what kind of treatment she was expecting.

What exactly is this chick telling you? "I'm seeing other guys, just wanted to be honest". That probably means, she's not that into you and therefore setting up why she won't be available to see you again or isn't available for a LTR. Maybe you gave off some hungry vibes?

 

[decades]

What exactly is this chick telling you? "I'm seeing other guys, just wanted to be honest". That probably means, she's not that into you and therefore setting up why she won't be available to see you again or isn't available for a LTR. Maybe you gave off some hungry vibes?

probably but a quality person would not tell you this. a quality person would finish her drink finish her coffee finish her rice pudding and say thanks and then move on and ljbf you like normal chicks do. the message is not in what she is saying, it's THAT she is saying it.

 

[Mr. Me]

Yeah, I hear ya. In this case, she happened to utter it. Maybe she didn't neccesarily want to LJBF him at this point but felt she had to "issue a warning statement" of some kind to the OP? There's probably more to this story then we know, that's my hunch.