Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I understand what you're saying, but as I said in my first post, I want to quit for several reasons, not just because "I feel bad after doing it.".Kestrel said:I am not saying quiting porn is impossible, in fact it is doable. But base on what you wrote and what I can read of you, it will not happen with you (not yet at least). You see, those who can quit simply are already strong enough to do it. If you are not strong enough yet, you will always bounce back. Since you are trying to quit so you don't feel bad about yourself, to me, it is simply a sign of weakness. You are driven by an emotion, therefore, you will eventually reach a point where you feel a strong need to relief yourself. That's when you bounce back.
I could be wrong but I try and tell it as it is. Keep me posted on your progress if you do attempt this path. Good luck.
Ultimately, what I was trying to get across in my first post was that porn wasn't the problem but your perception of porn. It is like a fat girl blaming the jeans making her look big. Until you fix the underlying core, every solution will only be temporary and the problem can still manifest itself in other form.DJ Shaka said:I understand what you're saying, but as I said in my first post, I want to quit for several reasons, not just because "I feel bad after doing it.".
Ok I get it now.Kestrel said:Ultimately, what I was trying to get across in my first post was that porn wasn't the problem but your perception of porn. It is like a fat girl blaming the jeans making her look big. Until you fix the underlying core, every solution will only be temporary and the problem can still manifest itself in other form.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Thanks brah.Lockheed said:I did the same thing, and it is very possible, you feel the need to jack for the first days, then it becomes easier, but now I jack once a week because I dont want to start having wet dreams.
Its really great to quit jacking like crazy, you will feel very horny, but with proper sleep you will also feel more awake, with more energy, and with a much better view on yourself and the world.
and if you cant just quit jacking, try doing it only at nights, jacking in the morning made me feel like sh*t trough all the day.
good luck dude
Definitely! That's why the title of this thread is "quitting porn FOREVER".Darth said:I guess the point is that you can't go into it half-heartedly. You have to KNOW you can throw porn out forever. You can't even cheat and just look at it every once it awhile. Just like a recovering smoker can't have "just one" cigarette.
If you are not firm in this, then your brain will create all kinds of excuses to get porn back on the computer screen.
You have to uproot the very reason you have such a negative view of porn. Then you have to uproot the very reason you have an attachment to porn. Then when you neither care for either those reasons (meaning it does not affect you emotionally anymore), you are ready to quit anytime.DJ Shaka said:Ok I get it now.
I'm not sure if I agree with you. I believe quitting porn is the first step to fix that underlying core. If not then what do you propose?
LOLDJVladdy said:Don't take adderall and turn on a porn site... ever
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Word up brother. I read an article and this girl said the sex with the guy who watches porn was much better than the guy who doesn't. Take from it what you will.real2 said:So you are saying I should format my 1.76 TB server full of porn?
I will agree that jerkin it makes you incredibly lazy and tired.
All sexual motivation is lost with the sense of instant satisfaction from porn.
BUT porn got me through a bad breakup. Porn got rid of the stress/depression that was taking over my regular life cycle until I found several other rebounds
So in the end, porn is a great stress relief when needed.![]()
You're missing the point. That point is: the more you jerk off and watch porn on a regular basis, the more lazy you will become and the less motivation and desire to go out and pursue goals you will have.
You are using porn and the sole reason for not going out and objectifying it. Porn is just one vice of 50,000. The more junk food you eat, the more lazy you become and the less motivation and desire to go out and pursue goals you will have. The more tv you watch, the more lazy you become and the less motivation and desire to go out and pursue the goals you have. The more you lose your hair, the more lazy...The more you get old, the more lazy...The more you fail your exams, the more lazy....The less exercise you do, the more lazy...It could be so many things, and the bottom line is how strong you are, not how powerful a third party is in preventing you from doing what you should be doing.
You can't blame porn, you have to blame yourself for watching it and in turn, making you lazy. I know guys who watch alot alot of porn and are doctors and very rich, very successful, with the best girlfriends ever.
Mystery is just giving advice:
"Hey guys, if you don't get laid, try not to masturbate and watch porn compulsively, it will make things worse".
The advice is not logical, the same advice could be applied to any situation in life. I could give the same advice: "Hey guys, if you don't get laid, try not to watch to and read magazines compulsively, it will make things worse." Well no kidding. Again, if something is not working in one aspect of your life, you cannot blame a third party (porn) You have to change it within yourself. You cannot categorize porn as the cause of your problems.
Blaming porn for not going out and being lazy
= blaming Hersey's for making you fat and lazy.
great advice... goes for a lot of negative emotions and feelings.DonS said:If you feel guilty about a habit, you brain is trying to tell you that something isn't right. Sounds like porn is keeping you from taking care of other aspects of your life. Find that balance: keep your game tight and enjoy the rewards of porn; but don't use porn as a crutch or escape.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah I was serious with that statement. His post sounds as if he wants to change his behavior of watching porn. He made no statement about wanting to stop jerkin it.San Jose California said:Man are you serious? I think it should be an automatic assumption that by quitting porn he meant quitting jerking off; they're the same thing.
lol at the people who say watching porn reduces stress. Wtf are you people thinking and how could that possibly work? Porn cannot possibly effect your stress life; it's just something to do when you're bored and something that makes your d!ick feel good.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.