I'm not doing something right, but I don't know what

[yuppaz]

Hey,

I've been trying to get better with women for a while now and am not having very much success. I get initial attraction pretty well, but it never seems to move beyond that when I approach and go for a GOOD number close or insta date.

I have posted some field reports. I usually come in with some witty line, then just:
1. Chit chat about nothing special, then try to close
2. Try to tease her a little bit, but not too mean. Try to have some fun, but it may seem disingenuous to them
3. Maybe give a compliment, then try switching subjects up
4. Get slightly verbally sexual and with my body
5. Tried speaking passionately and telling stories

I'm really not doing very well. I had a recent set seem to have some fun, and seemed interested, but wouldn't give out the digits (might have been because she had a really bad schedule, like she told me about earlier), also another recent one that I REALLY wanted to get something going with (my version of a 10), not give out the number, but take mine (uhhh no, she didn't call.... lmao). I feel like I am doing something fundamentally wrong and I can't figure out what it is.

I have been adjusting my behavior around what I think will work, because I have never really been good with women and I just want this stuff to start clicking for me.


PPPlease assist in any way possible if you have been in this a while and have been honestly able to help friends etc. with their troubles. I don't feel I need generic answers but something substantial.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Apocalypse Now]

Are you at a good confidence level?

Do you see them as winning you? Or are you still in the "I must win over this girl" mindset?

How's your Alpha Male mentality?

 

[yuppaz]

I think that due to scarcity and not ever having seen that kind of thing in real life, I still see them as the prize (although I know that is wrong). My confidence level is ok, but fading due to the lack of actual dates as a result of approaches. I really don't know why, but I have been having such a hard time hooking.

 

[yuppaz]

Oh Alpha mentality... I'm not sure man... it gets so convoluted in set.

 

[Apocalypse Now]

You need to work on your core then. That is, work on finding the happiness within yourself. If you look toward others (friends, family, girls) to establish your happiness, you can never be an Alpha Male.

Once you can honestly say that you're happy with yourself FIRST, and you don't need other people around to make you happy, then you'll be good to go. Find new hobbies, be more active, go to the gym, love yourself, accept everything about you (good and bad), and then you'll have the aloof/indifferent attitude needed to get women.


I'm still working on this also. It's not an overnight thing.


Edit: Think of the movie Rocky (my favorite movie). He had the technique to be a great boxer, but if he didn't have the HEART, he would have never gone as far as he did. INSIDE is most important.

 

[yuppaz]

I think the matter with me is more tactical at this point. Inner game is probably not all there, but good enough to date I would hope.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Stop adjusting your behavior. The inner game, who you are, is everything. When it is in harmony, your outer behavior will manifest automatically.