this is going to be kind of long so bear with me.
the reality hit me like a ton of bricks recently. i'm more afc then i thought i was. that's gotta be the problem with my lack of success lately. i'm not going to lie, i do have my moments of dj, but 90% of the time i think i'm being viewed as an afc by women, and even guys at times. something i'm doing, something i'm giving off is making me stand out in ways i don't want to stand out. here are a few examples i can give that best describe what i'm getting at.
you ever hear the term used by people to describe a girl, "town wh*re"? you know, the kind of girl that apprently EVERYONE has been with....except me? she is doing a new guy every weekend. she's always riding some random dude's c0ck. not mine though. i've tried to game these girls to no avail. i just don't have the game to be "that guy" she randomly sleeps with one night or several nights or whatever. nope, i'm the guy she has fun with one night(seemingly) and you think you're getting somewhere, but in reality you're going nowhere with her. yeah, she'll text you every now and then, but you never hangout or if you do ask her to she's always giving you some excuse or blows it off completely as if you never even mentioned hanging out to her. yet, next weekend she's got some random guy's c0ck in her mouth, and he put in the time of maybe a few hours. the real kicker is when i see these guys, they're nothing what i expected! looks wise i know i can compete with them, hell i can beat most of them on looks alone. doesn't matter though cause theyre getting it and i'm not. why can't i get the town wh*re to sleep with me? talk about a hit to the ol' ego. you'd think gaming them would be an easy lay, it's not. it's rather hard, at least in my experience. i've never been the type of guy that had one night stands alot. i can count on one hand how many i've had in the course of my life. it's sad really. pathetic is more like it. so what's the secret to sleeping with these seemingly easy girls?
i recently signed up with match.com to meet more women, just to see if it would increase my chances. it started out well, very well acctually. i would email a girl, any girl, she'd email me back, we'd exchange a few emails and then bam! she's never to be heard from again. i ask for her number, try to keep the emailing to a minimum and set up a date as quickly as possible only to be shot down, or ignored about my request. i ask them for facebook and i get excuses such as "i dont have facebook"(in this day and age? yeah right, come on lady). i had one date on there. it sucked. this girl would text me all day everyday, talk on the phone blah blah blah. date comes and things seem to be going well then all of a sudden she's tired and wants to go home. ok? well then i get the i dont kiss on first dates line. ha! yeah i bet you dont. so i just walk off and leave her standing there and shes asks "where are you going? you arent going to tell me bye?" and i said "nope, i'm going to find a girl that DOES kiss on first dates. have a nice night". well now i can't get hardly ANY women to write me back on there. it's weird, it's like a nasty rumor is spreading throughout match.com about me to not talk to this guy.lol whatever, their loss not mine. i used to be pretty successful with online dating, but not so much anymore for some reason.
i had this cute waitress the other night. i decided to go the old afc route and leave her a note saying "let's go have a beer sometime, heres my number". by golly it worked! she texted me the next day with maybe. maybe? i asked her what do i have to do to get that maybe turned into a yes, and ask her when shes free. shes busy all week and said "youll think of something". yeah, not gonna waste my time with that, bye. oh she did ask me to tell her about myself, but i reasponded with "well i must have made a good first impression on you because you did text me. if you want to get to know me, go have that beer with me sometime." she didnt respond. i thought it was a good response myself. i don't have time to pass some stupid sh!t test over asking a girl out for a beer.
i was working out at the gym with my trainer yesterday, minding my own business joking around with him. we were doing some hard stuff, and he was like how many was that? and i said 4, and he was like 4?! you got to get to 15!. just joking around about me slacking off, that type of stuff. this guy who walks around thinking he's all that, you can just tell he's that type. big muscular upper body, looks at himself in the mirror alot, but never worked out legs a day in his life. it was weird looking to say the least. anyways he makes some smart comment to me, but i didnt say anything to him. it's a gym, im busy working out with my trainer, i'm not there trying to get into a fight with some dude. but i mean, what am i giving off that made him think i wasnt an alhpa male? what made him think he could say something smart to me and i wouldnt get up and bust him in his face? this is the same type of guy that would come up to me and a girl in the bar and "want to be friends".
anyways, i just dont know what im doing wrong or how to correct it. i think i'm a great catch but i must not be selling myself as well as i need to be. i dont know how to do that any better. i'm not ugly, i have a great job, i'm in dang good shape, so what gives?
the reality hit me like a ton of bricks recently. i'm more afc then i thought i was. that's gotta be the problem with my lack of success lately. i'm not going to lie, i do have my moments of dj, but 90% of the time i think i'm being viewed as an afc by women, and even guys at times. something i'm doing, something i'm giving off is making me stand out in ways i don't want to stand out. here are a few examples i can give that best describe what i'm getting at.
you ever hear the term used by people to describe a girl, "town wh*re"? you know, the kind of girl that apprently EVERYONE has been with....except me? she is doing a new guy every weekend. she's always riding some random dude's c0ck. not mine though. i've tried to game these girls to no avail. i just don't have the game to be "that guy" she randomly sleeps with one night or several nights or whatever. nope, i'm the guy she has fun with one night(seemingly) and you think you're getting somewhere, but in reality you're going nowhere with her. yeah, she'll text you every now and then, but you never hangout or if you do ask her to she's always giving you some excuse or blows it off completely as if you never even mentioned hanging out to her. yet, next weekend she's got some random guy's c0ck in her mouth, and he put in the time of maybe a few hours. the real kicker is when i see these guys, they're nothing what i expected! looks wise i know i can compete with them, hell i can beat most of them on looks alone. doesn't matter though cause theyre getting it and i'm not. why can't i get the town wh*re to sleep with me? talk about a hit to the ol' ego. you'd think gaming them would be an easy lay, it's not. it's rather hard, at least in my experience. i've never been the type of guy that had one night stands alot. i can count on one hand how many i've had in the course of my life. it's sad really. pathetic is more like it. so what's the secret to sleeping with these seemingly easy girls?
i recently signed up with match.com to meet more women, just to see if it would increase my chances. it started out well, very well acctually. i would email a girl, any girl, she'd email me back, we'd exchange a few emails and then bam! she's never to be heard from again. i ask for her number, try to keep the emailing to a minimum and set up a date as quickly as possible only to be shot down, or ignored about my request. i ask them for facebook and i get excuses such as "i dont have facebook"(in this day and age? yeah right, come on lady). i had one date on there. it sucked. this girl would text me all day everyday, talk on the phone blah blah blah. date comes and things seem to be going well then all of a sudden she's tired and wants to go home. ok? well then i get the i dont kiss on first dates line. ha! yeah i bet you dont. so i just walk off and leave her standing there and shes asks "where are you going? you arent going to tell me bye?" and i said "nope, i'm going to find a girl that DOES kiss on first dates. have a nice night". well now i can't get hardly ANY women to write me back on there. it's weird, it's like a nasty rumor is spreading throughout match.com about me to not talk to this guy.lol whatever, their loss not mine. i used to be pretty successful with online dating, but not so much anymore for some reason.
i had this cute waitress the other night. i decided to go the old afc route and leave her a note saying "let's go have a beer sometime, heres my number". by golly it worked! she texted me the next day with maybe. maybe? i asked her what do i have to do to get that maybe turned into a yes, and ask her when shes free. shes busy all week and said "youll think of something". yeah, not gonna waste my time with that, bye. oh she did ask me to tell her about myself, but i reasponded with "well i must have made a good first impression on you because you did text me. if you want to get to know me, go have that beer with me sometime." she didnt respond. i thought it was a good response myself. i don't have time to pass some stupid sh!t test over asking a girl out for a beer.
i was working out at the gym with my trainer yesterday, minding my own business joking around with him. we were doing some hard stuff, and he was like how many was that? and i said 4, and he was like 4?! you got to get to 15!. just joking around about me slacking off, that type of stuff. this guy who walks around thinking he's all that, you can just tell he's that type. big muscular upper body, looks at himself in the mirror alot, but never worked out legs a day in his life. it was weird looking to say the least. anyways he makes some smart comment to me, but i didnt say anything to him. it's a gym, im busy working out with my trainer, i'm not there trying to get into a fight with some dude. but i mean, what am i giving off that made him think i wasnt an alhpa male? what made him think he could say something smart to me and i wouldnt get up and bust him in his face? this is the same type of guy that would come up to me and a girl in the bar and "want to be friends".
anyways, i just dont know what im doing wrong or how to correct it. i think i'm a great catch but i must not be selling myself as well as i need to be. i dont know how to do that any better. i'm not ugly, i have a great job, i'm in dang good shape, so what gives?